looking into surrogacy, need info

Hello beauties! I need your advice. I had placental abruption in the past. Doctors had to remove fetus along with the uterus. We were ttc for 6 years before I’ve got pregnant. We had so much hope that finally we’ll become parents! We’ve lost our baby on 7th month of pregnancy. Also I’ve lost my fertility and there no chance for us to conceive any more. 2 years had already past but we didn’t recover from our loss yet. Is it even possible to forget such pain?

We are looking into surrogacy. To be honest, I’m not sure if we can think about it. I feel like I’m betraying my child… My husband says it will help us to keep living and stop our suffering. Maybe he’s right… I deepen myself into search and try not to think about my pain. I hope you’ll help me to clear surrogacy process.

I read many comments here. Some of you, girls, chose Europe, some of you chose America. I’m lost and I have no idea which of these variants will suit us. We are from Finland so there is no way for us to have this procedure here. I’m more into USA. Prices for surrogacy are very high there. But I think that’s not without purpose. This fact shows that there is high guarantee of success, am I right? They ask for such high price because they know what to do and how gain good result. We don’t have $150 000 to pay right away. I think we’ll have to take a loan. We have no one to borrow this money. I think this is not so great sacrifice for our goal, right? My husband says it’s better to go to Europe. Prices are much lower and services are the same. But I think if prices are small than possibility of procedure to be successful is small as well.

12 Replies

  • The reason why the states is more expensive is because they have private healthcare only as to public healthcare that's in Canada and most of Europe.

    So going to the states will just be more money since your paying full price as to paying a somewhat covered amount by healthcare in Europe.

  • Thank you for your reply! These details made the process much clear for me. I never thought that prices could depend on this. I will look more into European clinics. I really appreciate your help! I didn't think I will get so many advices and support here! I made the right thing posting my problem and sharing it with you girls)

  • I’m so sorry about your loss. I’ve also lost my baby. I know exactly how it feels. It’s impossible to forget this, but surrogacy soothed our pain. I don’t regret I choose this option. You don’t betray your baby! Don’t think about this in such way. It’s not your fault you’ve lost your child. There are situations in life we can’t control. You should stop suffering! Your husband has a point here. This procedure and parenting will help you to soothe your pain, believe me. I was confused too. I didn’t know which country to choose. There are many clinics all over the world. Reviews and prices differ. That’s why it’s hard to choose. First of all I want to say that high price is not a guarantee of positive result as well as low price is not a guarantee of failure. Moreover, not a single clinic gives 100% guarantee that the procedure will be successful. Anyway, you should pay attention what rates of successful treatments do clinics have. There are many websites with lists of clinics where you can find this info.

    Your husband is right about Europe. You should think about your future and future of your kid as well. You’ll have to spend so much money for a baby. It will be really hard for you to pay back debt at the same time. Here on this forum you can find names of all tested clinics and also their prices. You can ask girls everything you need. I’m sure they will help you! I will also be glad to help. Good luck! I hope you’ll find the best option for you)

  • Please can you let me know where to the names /prices of the clinics you refer to. Is there a list or do you mean asking others for their views and experiences?

    We are also looking into surrogacy and I would be interested to have this information.

    Thanks and good luck to everyone xx

  • I was just googling "list of clinics of reproductive medicine and their prices". There are many websites, where you can find not only prices and services, but also rates of successful treatments and reviews of their patients. Very helpful thing I should say. Also after looking through such websites, I was choosing the most suitable clinics and making a list of them. Then I was looking for official websites of those clinics. There is much information which can help you to make a final choice. For example, you can find terms and conditions of contracts there. Also list of services, prices, photos, direct contacts, etc.

    We contacted managers of those clinics and asked them questions. It's important to ask everything you want to know about procedure before you go there. Pay attention to their answers. They have to give you clear information to each of your questions.

    Costs. USA has the highest price. We didn't have such amount of money. Their costs varies from $100 000 to $150 000. It is prohibitive price for us. Speaking about Greece, their prices are lower. Their costs varies from $60 000 to $80 000. I had great fear of scammers. There are a lot of fake agencies, who have only one aim – to pull out all your money. Everyone should be very careful in their search.

    I was in search 24/7 during a couple of months. It was really hard to find a reliable clinic with affordable price. After some discussions with ladies on different forums we went to Ukraine. The clinic provided us with everything needed, so we felt absolutely comfortable in foreign country. The whole process was under their control. They found surrogate mother for us in 2,5 months. Our son was born in October 2015. We paid approximately €40 000 for everything. Though there were so many people and lines were very long, but I think the result worth it. If you have questions, please don't be shy to ask.

  • Thanks for the detailed and helpful information. I'm sure it will help a lot of people thinking about starting this process xx

  • I'm so grateful for your response! Thank you for support. It was really hard for me to turn to this option after our loss. I needed to hear those words, some point of view from the other woman with same story... I hope surrogacy will help us to maintain our lives. Thanks for the tips. I'll definitely use them in my search. You helped a lot to clear surrogacy process for me. May I ask which clinic did you address?

  • Hi jossySSS. Have you had a look at www.SurrogacyUK? Also, if you kept your ovaries, you could possible still have your own genetic child. Lots to think about, but it just could be a wonderful option for you both, and I do wish you well with whatever you decide. Thinking of you. Diane

  • I am American. I can reassure you that Europe and the UK have very good surrogacy programs. I know 2 different surrogates here in the UK. They are so healthy, have kids of their own, and have very easy pregnancies. One has carried twice to term, the other just had her first for someone. One took 2 tries with embryos as bfn first transfer, but positive the very next cycle with frozen embryos.

    As for America, as stated above healthcare costs an absolute fortune! Just an epi-pen for an allergic reaction will set you back $500! You get charged a premium on everything. The sad thing is that even with the high costs you are still living in a health care lottery. I have tons of comparisons with family members receiving the same procedures in different States and one was good, the other appalling.

    I think you should go where you both feel comfortable. Investigate loads of places and if you stay in Europe, with the money you saved, take baby on holiday when it's bigger!

    Good luck with your decision!

  • Thank you for reply! Now I understand that high prices in USA don't give higher guarantees at all. You are absolutely right comparing the process to a lottery. It will be better to save money and don't take a loan. Thank you for these details! I will think more about options. Now I see it's better to look at services and rates but not at prices.

  • hi, I'm so sorry for your fertility struggle. Your story is full of pain and despair, but I hope you’r on the right way. I have my kids born through surrogacy so I know what I’m talking about. The USA is obviously a great surrogacy destination. They offer probably the highest level of service but the price is also biting. Along with high costs, don’t forget their specific legal regulations. Surrogates are legal mothers of newborns. They have right to keep the baby after delivery if she changes her mind. Are you ready for such roller coaster?

  • apart to all that, some states of the US have very flexible requirements for IPs. even singles and gays are approved unlike many other countries where surrogacy is legal. however the price for me is unbearable. need to find cheaper options. so many good reviews about Ukraine and the price of around 30k is super. why they don't tale singles? this is crazy

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