what are your thoughts about surrogacy?

Hello girls! I came here in hope to get some info. I’m 32, married, no kids. We dream about children and we came to the point where we don’t know what to do with our desire. I was born without an uterus so our chances to conceive naturally are like 0%. We are looking for options. First thing that comes to my mind is surrogacy. My husband thinks it’s good option, but I have some doubts. I think it’s kinda unnatural and wrong maybe… Which woman will give her child to strange people? I think women become surrogates only because of money, because they are poor. I guess such women have bad genetics or poor minds. Don’t take me wrong, I just think that sane person would never leave her child. Unfortunately we don’t have many options. I want to try to look for surrogate mother by myself. I’ve seen many girls on forums propose to carry a baby for infertile couples. The thing is I have no idea how to start all this process. We are from Finland. Surrogacy here is forbidden by law. It means we have to go abroad. One more problem is price. We were thinking about USA. There are many ads in the internet of different clinics and agencies. They have some databases of surrogate mothers so we can probably choose one. However reviews are so different! I thought for such price all procedures should be positive! I’m not sure we’ll find $150 000. This sum seems immense for us. Do other countries have same prices? Which country is better to go? Where this procedure is legal? I found many reviews about India. Also prices for surrogacy procedure there is lower than in USA. Unfortunately it turned out that India was closed for foreigners. I’m sorry for such flow of thoughts and questions. I really need help! I’m totally confused!

6 Replies

  • Hello Sandra, I'm so sorry for the situation your in in terms of not being able to have children. Surrogacy sounds like it's your only option if you want to have children that share a genetic connection with you.

    Yes there have and still are many cases of intended parents falling into serious problems during surrogacy arrangements.

    The best country to consider surrogacy in my opinion is Ukraine. They have strict laws on who can go through the programme on both sides(parents and surrogates). Also the parentage of the child is based upon DNA matching and not who gives birth.

    Prices in Ukraine tend to come up to almost a third of the price in USA and you get the legal backing you need when it comes to assigning parentage.

    I can recommend a clinic to you via PM if you'd like to get in touch for more information.

    I hope I've helped you a little with some of your doubts.

  • Thank you so much for your kind response. You're not the first one who tells me about Ukraine! I didn't know it's so popular. I was afraid that surrogate mother may refuse to give us our baby. I'm glad to know that Ukraine has special law for such case. The price was huge problem for us. The fact that Ukraine is much cheaper is so relieving! Thank you for telling me all this info. You helped a lot! Thanks to you I know more details so I can move further. I'll definitely PM you! It would be great to know some names of clinics so I could contact them and google them)

  • Firstly id like 2 say Surrogate mothers dont give their babys way, they carry a baby for the couple which is their baby they use the egg and spern from the couple who she is helping to have their dream and its not poor people as u put it who carry theses amazing gifts of life..my sister is actually a surrogate and both her and her husband have their own businesses,she was finished having her own family and felt the gift of life was somethin so amazing and so precious that she would like to help other couples to have this special gift to..she always uses the couples embryos so tht way the baby is NEVER her baby she is just loaning her body to someone else to carry THEIR baby with in her..me myself would also consider beein a surrogate if ever anyone needes my help

  • I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend anyone. Thank you for clarifying this process for me. I'm new to this and I didn't really catch how all this works. Your sister and you are very good persons and you're both doing a great thing. I don't know why I thought about surrogate mothers in that way. Maybe it was just influence of mass media. I'm glad I talk to you! Your words put some of my worries aside.

  • My friend has really easy pregnancies. She is becoming a surrogate. She gets paid a bit, but it means she can stay at home with her young kids and home school them. So she sees the money as her job to be super healthy and looking after someone's child. Another surrogate did it initially for her her sister and decided to do it once more for a stranger.

    America is too expensive. Europe is cheaper and just as safe, and easier to get to from Finland!

  • yes, you're right. deciding on surrogacy and provider is a very important step for a couple. we made our choice very profoundly. moreover, there're so many options now.

    apart of price, I would take into consideration such criteria as: legal support, guarantees, number of attempts, compensation for surrogate and donor, waiting time, requirements for surrogates and donors, ability to choose, neonatal care, pediatrician service, vaccination. continue this list on your own

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