Failed ovulation first cycle of clomid.

I am sorry but clomid has turned me into a crazy insane mad woman.As I type this I know how deranged I am sounding.

I felt ok till I started testing ovulation.Clinic haven't given me bloods/scans so dependent on these sticks.

I haven't had a surge- it looks like this cycle has failed and I wasn't pre warned this could happen.

I am totally heartbroken by it not working. I cant stop crying. As I type this I am fighting back the tears.

I was so positive this could work- now I feel negative- sad, angry and scared.

The thought of going through this again is filling me with fear and dread- its like Ive lost all hope.

I am on the verge of saying sod it I cant have a child this too hard.

How do you ladies get over failed treatment ( if you've been that unlucky) and keep going? My clinic haven't really been very supportive - kept on waiting on phone calls that never get returned - to the point I spoke to my GP.

I am sorry to bring you all down - no one close to me understands. I want to cease treatment - husband is less keen. x

18 Replies

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NDE1987

3 years ago

Awwww jess I am so sorry you are feeling like this. I was given chlomid to take during my first IUI and It didn't agree with me either, it made my womb lining thin and I didn't actually get that many extra follicules. But it didn't agree with me because of my endromestosis. Maybe give it another go as you body may be adjusting with it. In relation on how to deal with failed treatment I have gone crazy about it and broke down in tears and had a few bad days but I just think there comes a point where you just learn to either not let the emotions get to you (you get thick skinned) or you just deal with another way of dealing with it. It's hard when all you think about is having a baby. But please don't let it take over your life. There is so much more in this world to enjoy. Our day will come one day but in the mean time just enjoy this time with your husband and everything else you have going on in your life. Best of luck and have a treat weekend put this to one side in your head and deal with it later xxxx

Loopylou2015

in reply to NDE1987

Hi Jess

As I've previously said I was put on clomid and amazingly it worked first time for me which was not what I was expecting. The consultant told me it probably will take a few cycles to kick in and trick your body into ovulating. I used the normal ovulation sticks rather than the dual hormone so u literally get no face or a flashing one. The dual hormone didn't work for me either. The consultant also told me I'd be put on clomid for 6 months then have a break and put on stronger dose if didn't work. Try how ever hard it is to do things u enjoy together to focus your attention somewhere else. Stress really doesn't help get yr body in the perfect condition to conceive believe me I know. Definitely have day 21 blood test to as that can tell u your levels and whether u ovulated. As u may of ovulated but not conceived this time round. On my first cycle of clomid I was actually waiting to come on to take next lot of tablets so wasn't at all thinking I was actually pregnant. Big hugs being sent to u xxx it will happen I've got friends that gave up after years of trying and now have beautiful babies even though they were told it would never happen

jess1981

in reply to Loopylou2015

Thanks loopylou2015 it's nice to hear success stories- but I don't believe that it will ever be my turn.

My clinic haven't supported me ( no bloods or scans to see if it's working) worst when I had concerns never returned my calls- this was really distressing time for me - I needed medical support. It got so horrendous that I contacted my GP ( who has been fab throughout this "journey" I've been on)

Not feeling supported by my clinic hasn't made me feel able t do this again. ..

I have no other way of knowing if my body did ovulate - my GP thinks it's a failed cycle - no point in doing progesterone blood test. The only evidence I have is no surge detected via ovulation stick.

Your clinic sound wonderful - I wish mine were more like that. I feel all alone.

Outside this I am happy - I am training to be a TA which I love doing. I have a lovely home. A gorgeous and supportive husband. And a Wonderful 17 year old son. Then I wonder why I'm bothering to do this ( it's only making me feel sad). Right now ceasing treatment seems the best thing all round. I just want to be happy again.

I am so glad it worked for you - not all of us get that lucky. X X X

I've got a lot of amazing things in my life - I'm training to be a teaching assistant - which I love doing. I've got a gorgeous and amazing husband. And am a proud mother of an incredible 17 year old son ( I am grateful to have him)

The only thing that ever upsets me in my life is infertilty and after 5 years of trying has taken a toll on me. I wish there was a switch off button- there isn't. When I'm at work it's ok coz no one knows of my struggles - wouldn't want anyone to treat me any differantly- it's the one place I can "me" without being -Jess the one who can't give Oli a child. I feel responsible for our failure - it's my fault. I'm just so frustrated that my body can't do one thing right. I was so looking forward to seeing the surge and being on a 2 ww ( which I know sounds bizarre) it would've given me a feeling of hope. I understand what you're saying about being resilient- over the years of trying naturally I have become hard and accepted it wasn't happening. This was our first treatment in the whole 5 years we have been trying ( unsuccessfully) it was a huge deal to us. We were so happy and positive - now I am not. The thought of feeling this dreadful again is making me considering giving up. It's not a decision I want to make - but it might be for the best.At least when I tried naturally we saw a surge every month. ( Abeit early). I just wished my consultant prepared me that this might not work at least I wouldn't feel so shocked by it. The clinic not being supportive isn't making me want to row and do it again. ( there is only receptionists - no nurse on duty to answer medical concerns - I get fobbed about waiting for phone calls that never happen, which of course adds to my stress,going through any of this you need to feel supported) I can't keep phoning my GP everytime I'm worried.

I can see and admire your strength ( I am not that strong) I wish I was more like that. But I'm not. I'm strong in other ways but not in this..

Good luck with it all I truly hope your dreams come true X X X

Thanks for being there.

Feel a bit better today- I made a decision. I'm going to have a progesterone blood test done privately - seeing as my clinic are not monitoring whether or not it's working. 😡At least I would know for sure whether or not it worked - if it didn't then I'd have solid evidence to show the consultant - he isn't going to take any notice of my ovulation sticks is he?!

If I did by some miracle ovulate - then next month I ditch the sticks- they make it feel worse.

Hopefully I will hear soon from consultant and see wot he has to say - probably nothing I want to hear..

Thanks for trying to rally me- sometimes this just feels overwhelming.. Spent so long wanting treatment - now I am having treatment - all I'm doing is moaning!!

Hope you are doing ok and you're right keep going ( even tho at times it feels impossible) X X X

in reply to jess1981

Awww jess I totally understand how you are feeling. The feeling of hope and then it's all gone, it's not a nice feeling. When I had my lap and dye test done October last year I was told that I would fall pregnant naturally and it never worked, then with both my iui treatments I feel so postive that they would work and again they never. I just felt like a failure to myself and my husband that I couldn't give him a baby. Which I know is stupid to think but we have now made progress and am going to try ivf. But if this dosent work then I just don't know what else I can do. The feeling of doubt and uncertainty is horrible. I think a 21 day blood test is good. This should be repeated though as not every month is the same. Do you have PCOS? My friend has it and she was told to try chlomid for 6 months and it her cycles have become regular x

You sound like you have had a really tough time of it- I'm so sorry. It is just totally heartbreaking- there are no words for it. I know what you mean about chances-when I had my HSG I thought I would conceive. I had read online about HSG making women extra fertile and conceiving within a few months afterwards-felt so bad when that never happened. Urgh.

Previously my diagnosis was unexplained for 4 years-which I found after time so frustrating-in the end I all I did was blame myself- which like you I know is silly- why do we do this ourselves- my husband isn't blaming me and I'm sure yours dosent either. I cant even look at my husband holding a baby- coz all I can think is I cant give him a baby. Urgh.

2014 - I was discharged from an NHS clinic- with its trying or IVF- and NHS wont fund it as I have child-never mind poor hubby who doesn't.

2 years ago I started having issues with my cycle- bleeding between periods, severe cramping between cycles, mega heavy periods to the point where ive been diagonsised with anemia - Gp prescribes ferrous sulphate to take twice a day. Had a hysteroscopy - all clear. Issues continued so I saw another gynae. GP then tried to stop the issues himself- in the end I had to see a gynae again. The gynae I saw said I needed to see a fertility specialist- he put in writing a referral to a fertility clinic where he works Hethought my problems were caused by a ovulation problem.GP agreed to it-I couldn't believe my luck been given another chance. the leading consultant insisted that I saw him. He said he believed that I am PCO-I have got high insulin levels-borderline type 2 diabetic-which really worried me.He put me on this special diet that works for people with high insulin levels; low GI diet.Ive lost so much weight since being on it. Then he put me on 100mg of clomid and issued me with 3 months worth saying my GP could prescribe another 3 months worth if it isn't successful. My periods are regular- the only normal thing about my cycle!! That is something that I am very grateful for.

I guess that we have all been on a massively difficult journey-which is why it doesn't take much to throw us over the edge.

Hope the IVf is successful for - you seem like such a lovely person- you don't deserve this-none of us do. Sure when we see a lovely positive that all of this will no longer matter be so worth it. Have to have faith our time will come (even if it is hard) x x x

in reply to Hollibob

Thanks hollibob for your lovely supportive reply- I am feeling a bit better today. this whole thing just hit me so hard because I wasn't prepared this could happen. We were so excited at the prospect of starting treatment.I didn't know sometimes it takes a while to work - no one warned me. I wish my consultant had done would've been kinder to my feelings..

an example of my clinic- I asked what the chances were of consultant getting back to me that day- they said very unlikely- so I said ok I'll keep my GP appointment in that case - they even had the nerve to ask what it was over- I felt like saying I thought I'd talk to my GP over the weather! 😂 instead I told them I was very worried & stressed over this - suddenly they started acting like it could be resolved that day. I said it's fine - I inderstand he's busy. By that point I was too fuming at them - why an earth would anyone phone if they wasn't stressed or worried - what a stupid comment!!! 🙄😂

I'm going to book a private progesterone blood test. At least I'll have a definite answer whether or not I did ovulate. Maybe it'll make me feel better.

If I do eventually get hold of consultant - I will say how concerned I am about going through treatment again - no returned calls - just left stressed and worried. I will enquite whether there is a nurse I can liaise with over any future concerns. I can't put myself through treatment unless my clinic provide decent support.

How are you doing? I hope you're ok considering. This whole situation in general is just so unfair and cruel. X X X

Thank you romaluna2015 for such sweet supportive words.

I think as clinic are so unsupportive I will arrange a private progesterone blood test- at least I will know for sure if I did or didn't ovulate- if I didn't it is solid evidence to clinic.

I am sorry that your clinic aren't great- going through this we need to have support. So glad your GP is supporting you throughout this. Such a difficult thing to go through. Its the receptionists that make it so stressful for me- there is not much worse than awaiting phone calls that never get returned. This will make you laugh - Friday I called clinic and as I expected was told again my consultant was very busy-which I get.So I asked if he would get back to me by the end of his shift-as I expected they said no. So I told them I would in that case keep my appointment with my GP (who like your has been great) the receptionist asked me what it was for! What did she think it was for?!! So I said I was very worried and stressed by not seeing an LH surge and was going to ask for medical advice. Suddenly she said she would mark it as urgent- like did it not occur to her I was stressed the first time I called!! I said its fine, I understand hes busy-its not a problem!! Haha..

On a serious note - will if I ever get to speak to my consultant ask if there is a nurse that I can liase with.

I love your positive strong attitude- its very inspirational. I admire your strength. Sure one day you will be rewarded for it. Youre so right about not giving up- thank you. x x x

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