Surrogacy as the only way possible

Hi everyone! I’m fairly new to this forum. My name is Lila, I’m 37 yo. I am married to a lovely man, but unfortunately am not able to have kids on my own. I’ve been diagnosed with the uterus cancer early in my twenties. That was a rough time for me, as you can possibly imagine. The drs said that there is no way possible to go through a complete remission without the surgery removal of my uterus. I gave my permission to that surgery. As for now there is no sight of cancer in my body but as a result I’ve became completely infertile.

Years after I’ve met my current husband, the man of my life and dreams. We decided to get married and as every happy couple want to have kids. He, of course, knows about my condition. That is clear that we have to find a surrogate mother for our child, it is the only way for us. We are going through such a trouble of finding nice clinics that provide good services. Surely there are lots of them. But it’s either too expensive or we would have to wait for years. I’m from UK by the way.

We’re still learning about how surrogacy works so can someone of you give us the advices on how to find a suitable surrogate? Or just share your experience? I would be really thankful to everyone who’ll leave a comment or two…

Thank you

24 Replies

  • Hi Lila- I'm sorry for everything you've been through- it's a lot to have dealt with. Great news that you are cancer free.

    I have no personal experience of surrogacy but I have a friend who has a beautiful boy through a surrogate and she's very involved with an organisation called Surrogacy UK. Have a look at their website. They try to help surrogates and hopeful parents find each other and can also give advice.

    Good luck! X

  • Thanks for reply! I will be considering your advice to look at this organization you've mentioned.

    But right now I'm more interested in getting a baby through a surrogacy option abroad, in Ukraine in particular. As lots of women have recommended me the clinic in Kiev..

    Anyways, I appreciate your reply!

  • Hi! Sorry you've found yourself here :( Still browsing different forums I read a lot ladies writing about Russia and Ukraine as surrogacy friendly countries. Yet another time I happened to see the post saying there are some legislative difficulties as for surrogacy in Russia, so considering this country you are to make deeper research. The lady I know pretty well passed her surrogacy program in Ukrainian clinic and she says she has nothing to regret about as for using it as now they have a beautiful 7 mo baby.

    We have experienced egg donation route. So I'm afraid I cannot tell you much as for surrogacy at least not having a good talk to my friend. Still if you're considering travelling abroad for surrogacy, I'll be pleased to help you.

    And the last thing to say here as for the waiting term. For them it was not more than 2 months to find the surrogate mother. Seems it's quite fast comparing to UK clinics.

    Well, I wish you all the best with your research and with following treatment. May God help you X

  • Hi, Angeleee! Actually your answer was right on point. Been couple of days I've heard a lot about Ukrainian clinics, esp about one in particular.

    It's rather fast to find a surrogate mother in 2 months, kind of impressive I'd say. That is the main plus apart from low prices I've seen in reviews.

  • Hi lilacare2016. Just wanted to wish you well with all of this - and of course for success! Someone I know went through surrogacy several years ago, abroad - and after 3 goes in total, now have 2 wonderful children. Thinking of you. Diane

  • Thank you for your comment, Diane! And for your sweet words too. This is so nice of you!

    Hope you and your friend are doing fine. Have a wonderful day. Lila.

  • Hi Lila.

    I’m Gina, 37.

    I was diagnosed with PCOS before.After I had to go through infinite number of tests. I am unable to conceive properly and have to undergo IVF treatment with DE. I’ve tried the treatment in different clinics in Czech and Russia. I was really disappointed at the time. In Czech after 2 attempts nothing was working. In Russia from 12 received eggs only 1 matured. Also BFN.

    Staying at the time in Russia I’ve discovered another clinic in Ukraine. I went through IVF there, in Kiev. I am on 5 mo right now. Success after the first try. Amazing.

    PM me if you are interested in more information , I would like to share it with you!

  • Gina! Thank you for writing here. I am happy for your successful pregnancy. Why did you decided to go with the clinic abroad at the first place?

  • Your welcome :-)

    Just as lots of women getting treatment in my home country was too expensive. I couldn't go through plain stimulation because of my condition but getting de and all of the following treatment it's little bit too much in terms of money to us. we saw that our clinic bio tex had a variety of contract so we could choose what we want. they also have a guarantee, the establish the amount of attempts and if nothing works at first you can continue trying.

  • Hi, hun! So.. that biotex clinic.. is it better than russian or czech ones in terms of services or it was just a miracle that you've conceived, maybe you were just lucky?

    Though I can get why you chose it (I suppose in Ukraine there are more than one fertility clinic), I like that systems with fixed amount of attempts, sounds good. especially for someone with law budget.

  • Hello! In Czech Republic they told me one price at the beginning and then I Had to pay whole another sum for all of my treatments. What is cool in Ukrainian clinic that they have fixed prices for all services. I mean, I signed the contract and was sure about the costs of my treatment. In Russia I didn’t' like that my IVF was sooo disastrous. We just had to change the clinic... And I'm glad we did! We spent some money but as a result we've discovered nice clinic in Ukraine.

    They check your condition before signing the contract and if you are lucky enough to get the 5 treatments one, you will get your money back in case of a failure. But I highly doubt that it is unsuccessful, from what I've heard from my manager, that they never had a case like this. So...

    From my point of view I trust them on this.

  • So you've paid for everything and didn't have to worry about additional prices etc.? And for the start of your treatment, did you have to bring with some special certificates? I can't find it on their website and have to ask. Thanks.

  • Yes, you actually have to bring with you your marriage certificate and a certificate that proves that you can't carry a baby (for a surrogate option).

    Actually we've paid in3 installments, but the price was fixed, they just divided it into 3 parts.

  • Thank you for your replies! And I have one more question to ask: how was the communication between you and the manager, the doctor?

  • They have interpreters over there. So do not worry. Feel free to contact them, just for simple consultation. xx

  • If you want to have a baby, go for it. Don't blame yourself, sometimes we just can't control some things. Surrogacy is a great solution for you. It’s nice you decided not to give up and look for options. I was diagnosed with glomerulonephritis after the birth of my first child. The entire pregnancy I had preeclampsia and hematuria, but not a single gynecologist didn't consider to send me to a nephrologist. When my son was 2 years old I’ve got pregnant again. I thought if I could carry my baby once, I can do this again. I was very careful, I tried to nervous less, I quitted my job. I had a diet, nothing spicy and no salt, only healthy food. At the beginning of pregnancy the protein was 0.33 and the pressure was 120/80. Everything seemed to be fine. At 25th week of pregnancy the situation changed completely. The protein was 6-7 and the pressure 230/100. I felt that the child almost didn't move. Doctors told to do an abortion. A cesarean section was urgently made. My second son was born with a weight of 540 grams and had lived for only 2 days. I’ve almost lost my mind, it was hard to keep on living. After another round of treatment and medical tests we decided to try again. Doctors constantly repeated it’s a mistake and it will ruin my health completely. But an idea to have one more child never left me and I tried to convince myself I will make it this time. The first trimester went perfectly. Of course it was early to relax, but I hoped for the best. Unfortunately my hope wasn't enough. Same story again, 26th week, protein 6, high pressure, cesarean section. It was a boy, he lived for only 3 hours. This loss broke me completely. This time I had not only physical treatment, but mental too. For almost 2 years I visited psychologist. It’s been 5 years already, but pain still tears me up. I think maybe I should have listened to all those doctors, who told me it’s dangerous. But if you never try, you never know for sure. My husband and I decided to try surrogacy. But when we saw prices, we were in shock! We really didn’t know where to go. I was in search 24/7 during a couple of months. It was really hard to find a reliable clinic with affordable price. After some discussions with ladies on different forums we went to Ukrainian clinic biotexcom. The clinic provided us with everything needed, so we felt absolutely comfortable in foreign country. The whole process was under their control. They found surrogate mother for us in 2,5 months. Our son was born on October 2015. We paid approximately 40 000 euros for everything. Though there were so many people and lines were very long, but I think the result worth it) If you have questions, please don't be shy to ask)

  • Thank you! I cried while reading about your hardships, but for now you are the happy mother of your second child! Yes, I definitely agree with you on the prices it is too expensive in here. Are they really that quick with finding a surrogate? This is impressive! I've heard about it only once or two times previously and thought of it as of some kind of a miracle. :-)

    But when you sighed with them did you have to bring with some special documents or analysis. I'm asking due to our conditions. Or they do examinations by themselves?

  • hi, sis

    so sorry for u

    i hope ur dream will come true soon or late

    i'm a mother of two born by a surro back in 2015

    many emotions about the journey so don't even know what to share with u

    we proceed with the clinic directly, internationally

    searching for a surro directly seemed to risky for us


  • Hi, hun! Thanks for replying and saying such kind words. Lots of love.

    I also feel like searching for donors and surro mom is really risky though there are lots of couple who do that but for me it's definitely better to contact some clinics and sign the contracts to have like a legal cover or something, because I am new to this society and do not want to get scammed or even damage my health more. I am in search for the clinic but recently after getting so many good reviews on one particular one I thought that contacting it would be the best option.

    Congratulations on becoming a mother! That's amazing!

    Was your international experience good or did something go wrong??

  • hi, i've just posted in another thread that finding a surrogate on your own is very risky and no guarantees at all. we came to surrogacy through adoption (failed match) opted to adopt from Ukraine but we're waiting for our babies to be born by a Ukrainian surrogate. i still can't say anything for granted because our pregnancy haven't reach safe stage yet.

    but i'll keep updating ;)

  • Hello! Good luck, I am praying for you to get the confirmation of the pregnancy!!!

    Why did you opt the adoption before the surrogacy, I thought that it is one of the last choices women are tend to make after getting lots of bfn. I personally think of adoption as the last possibility, if I won't succeed with surrogacy I'll switch to looking for a baby to adopt.

    I'll wait for your successful story at the very end, I believe that you'll get what you want!

  • hi, tomorrow is our first important US test and screening :)

    am I nervous? oh, i'm overwhelmed and can't wait for a manager emailing me with the results

    minutes stretch to hours...

  • I hope the results of tests are going to be great! But why is it in US? I didn't get it completely, I thought that surrogate mother is checked in bio tex and the results are being sent to you by e-mail. I feel a bit confused..

  • I faced infertility, when I was 36 yo. My only chance to have children was surrogacy. My husband and I have got married when we were 26 (now we are 40). We decided to set aside kids issue for a couple of years and to take up our careers. But a terrible thing happened. I started to feel lower abdominal pain. I’ve lost 17 pounds for very short period of time. I felt exhausted and I was getting tired very fast. One night I woke up because of sharp pain in abdomen. I was diagnosed with cancer of the uterus. So the uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries were removed. It was a big shock for our family. Accepting childless life wasn't a variant for us. My husband wanted a son very much. But I knew that I couldn't fulfill his wish. I was afraid that my dh will leave me for another woman, who will be able to bear a child for him. And I began to look for ways and exits, clinics and doctors. I wanted to do everything to save my family. After a long search, conversations with friends, reading of articles and reviews in the Internet, we decided to focus on surrogacy. But in our country it is, unfortunately, very expensive and we couldn't afford it. We began to look for clinics abroad. We wanted to find the best doctors and, at the same time, affordable price. It turned out that this procedure is legal in Ukraine. I've read many reviews about Ukrainian clinics and medicine. So we took this chance. We went to BioTexCom for surrogacy procedure. Now we have a wonderful healthy boy. My husband and I are very happy and grateful. I've never regret about my choice. Now I can't imagine my life without my baby! Surrogacy changed our life for the best. We had no problems with documents and registration of our son. The clinic took over registration and certification of all needed documents. I wish you good luck with your procedure!

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