Fertility Network UK
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Hello everyone I'm not sure how to start or if I'm even in the right forum but if you can offer any help advise or information I would be very grateful.

Ok so I've been trying to conceive for 16yrs and have never been successful...I have had blood tests hormone tests and scans my womb is normal and I have a few cysts on my ovaries and they are non toxic I have spoken to my doctor.....and have been informed that my husband needs to provide a sperm test we completed the test a week ago and we are now waiting for the results.....I at this point I have no concerns about my partners sperm I have had two other relationships before I married my husband and they were 5yrs and 6yr....relationships once I had broken up with the guy of 6yrs he had a baby😭😭😭 which confirms it's me who has the problem and I'm not sure about the other guy I feel really low most days and I cry every time my period comes....as I hold on to that little bit of hope but I've been hoping for 16yrs I feel the tears coming sorry guys😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I've been told all sorts from friends like

you don't need kids

Or don't think about it

Or your time will come

Or they just go on to speak about there own kids which doesn't help but it's the life they lead I don't ever wanna be bitter.....and I love every little precious child of God but sometimes I feel like people rub there success in my face....I have a friend who sends me baby vids of her son has him constantly in the phone when we are speaking which I think is purposely done....and she never ever takes the time to ask how I'm dealing with things Im forever smiling....and laughing with my friends and am always a friendly shoulder for them to retreat to when need be....but as soon as I mention my situation I get nothing back no help no guidance no hugs no support feel left out completely and I feel shut out.... I'm never invited to kids parties as I have no children....I spent most of my life in children's care and I just feel like I really want the opportunity to give my children the life my parents couldn't give me...I'm heart broken 💔 I would be a good mum if given the chance today I told myself you will have kids and you can have kids but the thought doesn't last very long... my period started again yesterday 5days early I'm just low in myself...I have never tried fertility treatment but I guess that's the next step..wish me luck I've missed out so much as this is the watered down version but could do with advice from someone or just anyone who has been in my position or is currently going through fertility issues...xx sending lots of baby dust...👣👣👣👣👣👣

7 Replies


You are allowed to feel the way you do, I am on my 3rd cycle of IVF and we have had a journey to get here and we pray that one day our miracle/miracles will happen and it is hard to be around people sometimes but it might be an idea to find out the nearest Infertility Clinic and then they will do tests and you can find out answers like we did and then decide what the best direction would be for you both then. You are not alone and one day I'm sure it will happen for you.


1 like

Thank you Kelly I really appreciate your message xx..good luck on your baby journey..


Hello Shaniamyfuture

You're not alone in your situation or feeling that way. It would definitely be good to find out where the problem lies so hopefully you can tackle it. A whole other topic is adoption but is not for everyone and takes time to get to the point but is always an option but doesn't sound like you're ready to stop trying for your own baby just yet. we're not ready to move on yet but it's nice having another option, but then there are donor eggs or surrogacy before that.

You will make a great mummy, because of everything you've been through. This has made you stronger even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.

I think I'd be inclined to spend less time with those friends and make friends with people in your situation perhaps look up Gateway Women for women without kids, I haven't yet but might one day, or start some new hobbies that don't involve kids?

Wishing you the best with your journey xxx

1 like

Thank you for your message and your right I so need to find some positive real friends who have a bit more compassion and care for what I'm going through thanks your advice really helped me good luck on your baby journey..xx


Awww big hugs

It tool me 15 years to conceive. Can I ask if you've been tested for your immunes nk cells?

As that turned out to be my issue along with having no fallopian tubes. Regardless of that without treatment for me immunes if never of got caught pregnant as my body rejects any foreign body x


Thank you so much for your message big hugs right back at you

I have never been tested For nk cells this is the first I've heard of it will definitely ask my doctor to test me for it thank you so much I need all the advice I can get you've been a big help.. And congratulations on conceiving..🎉😊❤️


I doubt your doctor would know about this mine didn't and my midwife yesterday knew nothing of it. It's to do with your immunes so you would need to find a private clinic that offers the test. The test can vary in price depending if you have bloods or a biopsy. If you are having treatment privately your clinic may offer the test.if they don't the tend to say don't bother with it... just because they don't offer it. But definitely worth getting it done x


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