Failed icsi cycle

Hi everyone, im new on here but wondered if anyone had any advice for us. Myself and my husband have been through our first icsi cycle with a frozen embryo transfer but sadly we were unsuccessful with both procedures. I am finding it harder this time to come to terms with things and i think its because there is a higher success rate with frozen embryo transfer and had no symptoms to show it had not worked. I know its a hard thing to go through anyway but my only way of helping me get through this is to get going asap on our next cycle so i can hopefully get pregnant sooner rather than later.

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  • I very much understand your feeling on this. We lost our icsi baby at 17.5wks. Unfortunately I don't yet know how long they will make us wait til we can try for another child. The wait is killing me.

    So sorry it didn't work for you, just know you're not alone as it feels xx

  • Thank you for your reply. So sorry for your loss, i cant begin to imagine how you must feel. It does feel like a lonely time when you go through the treatment because we can talk to our friends about it but unless you have actually been through it nothing they say can make you feel better as they just dont get it. I really hope you get some information soon so you know when you can start again.

    Take care x

  • Our follow up appointment with the clinic is on Monday. I'm beyond petrified! If they agree we can start we could possibly get drugs and start this month, but if they want me to wait, loose weight or change protocols/drugs etc (only two surviving embryos were implanted so nothing to freeze, but worked, but means starting from scratch) then it will be more like end of the year and I can not bare the thought of waiting that long! I'm in pieces over it. I so hope you get your answers on 21st and best of luck for your frozen transfer! Xx

  • Good luck on Monday. Im sure they will be ready to go ahead when you see them and you will be in for your egg collection before you know it. im hoping we get told when we can start again on 21st. I know how you feel about waiting ages. I will say at the moment anyone i hear saying they are pregnant i just feel so angry and all i can think is why isnt it me saying it, when is it going to be my turn!! Is that a normal feeling?? Let me know how you get on on monday xx

  • God yes of course, totally normal to have these thought (although everyone is different). I've not thought why them it should be me before, but often thought wish it was me too, but totally get it and would never judge someone for feeling like that! I now know a lady who is due 2 months after my daughter was due, her husband wanted her to have an abortion because he didn't want further children. I'm crying thinking, why do they get to keep their baby when we don't have any. And I hate myself for thinking that. I can't bare to admit that to anyone else

  • That is a completely normal reaction. Its heartbreaking ehen you hear something like that, its so unfair. I saw a woman come into where i work who was 5 months pregnant and bragging she was having a girl after losing her ladt baby, 5 minutes later she was out in the car park having a cigarette, all i could think was unbelievable!! I cutting stuff out of my diet and cutting down on other stuff and she is completely abusing her baby and her body!! Where is the justice in that x

  • Have you got a review booked with your clinic?

    It seems that often medical professionals are not able to answer questions about why treatment was unsuccessful. I found this frustrating at our reviews after BFN from 2 rounds of ICSI.

    Does your clinic offer counselling? It might help you to come to terms with the failed treatment.

    I wanted to start again ASAP after our first round but due to side effects we had to wait 4 months and in retrospect I needed that time to recover emotionally. The clinic said it was best to wait for 2 periods before trying again.

  • Yes we have an appt sept 21st to see the doctor to discuss things. They do offer counselling but with work its awkward to get out as i have to take time off for my hosp appts so it would be more time to make up on top of everything else. I would like to think that speaking to family and friends about it it is helping me get through it. That is unfortunate you had a reaction to the meds which delayed you 4 months. My main concern now is if it doesn't work next time our only other option is either paying to go private or adoption. To be honest im not expecting it before nov eventhough it would be good if it was oct.

  • Hello Sam101, I am really sorry to hear this. I just wanted to add that I went to see a counsellor privately. I had to pay but the benefit was that I could go on a Saturday and I didn't have to take time off work. I found the sessions hugely beneficial and would definitely recommend it x

  • Hi Sam101- I saw 2 brilliant counsellors via Skype when I was struggling, my husband was even able to join in on some of the sessions. I can give you their details if you'd like- many infertility counsellors offer discounted rates if you do it via Skype, I was surprised at how reasonable it was.

  • Thank you both for your replies about counselling. Im hoping by talking things through with family friends i will be ok. if you wouldnt mind giving me the details though just incase and i can have a think about it then. Thank you xx

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