Hi I'm asking you for info on what ppl think

We have been refused treatment myself and my wife on NHS. Because I have already had children from a previous marriage but I don't bring them up myself they were taken in my perants care in 2008when I split up with my ex husband due to violence ect I had a nervous breakdown hence why I don't have them my mum has point blank refused to allow them home even though I am 100% now I am being denied all that I ever wanted to be buy her and now the nhs I was forced into having sterilized by my ex husband and I was only 21at the time I had no counselling session for it if I had I would have been able to tell them that I didn't want to do it but at no given point was I offered ect I have been totally robbed of becoming a mother id do anything for a baby I'm 31 yrs old iv asked for the reversal so I could do it private with a donar my wife is not wanting to actually have a baby herself she's not interested in pregnancy ect but wants to start a family with my carrying the child but even though she's not had a child of her own they say she's got some because of the ones I have had but it's not really the same is it being a part time step perant or pt mother as having a family there with u all the time we just want a chance to have children together and bring them up like normal family unit the other children are happy to have another member added to the family too and really want a brov or sis I really don't know what to do now , any ideas on what to do next greatly appreciated but paying for it ourselves is not possible due to lack of financial backing not being available to us at all.

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  • I think you probably just have to resign yourself to this just being the way that it is. I have secondary infertility caused by damage that was caused by a difficult time giving birth to my first. So we were self funded to have our second. This might not be a popular opinion but I do think that there are people out there dying of diseases that the NHS can't afford to cure so if I want this to happen for me then paying for it is pretty reasonable considering this, the other think is, of course we had to save, but raising children isn't cheap, and if I couldn't save for this which was the most important thing in the world then how would I ever afford to raise the baby I hoped to have as a result? Hope it works out for you, from experience my best advise is if you really want this to happen for you, it is up to you to make it possible!x

  • Hey lady

    Sorry to hear you have been through such an ordeal.

    Have you thought of adoption? This is where we are at right now and the thought process is that if we can't help ourselves then the 1 child's life we can change is waiting out there for us to come and save them.

    No it may not be of your flesh but the child will need you just as much and even more.

    Good luck with your journey😘

  • They still count as your kids whether they are with you or not.It might be worth speaking to a social service worker and/or lawyer to see if you can get them back with you.

    As for having more children yould need to start saving for private as nhs have quite a few criteria you do not meet.I understand financially you are not able but we all find a way eventually when the need is important enough.

    Have you considered adoption or fostering....?.

    Take things easy and be kind to yourself.

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