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Fertility Network UK
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worried :/

im hopefully starting ivf treatment next month

one thing thats concerning me is my partner wont cut down on his drinking and that the hospital could stop our treatment ,

ive read drinking can reduce the chances of the ivf working

last night i just asked if he was still taking his tablets and he said he had indigestion but was still happy to drink his wine that is most proberly the cause of his indigestion

i felt better about it all yesterday when i was at the hospital and i was told once we start the turn around is quite quick and we are booked in for the info session, the day after we hae seen the consultant.

just feeling abit low in myself today and upset that hes not taking it seriously

just dont know what else to say to him to make him realise

hes said previously that i stress him out and blames me for drinking x

3 Replies

I think it is a personal choice u and ur partner have to make ..... My doctor told me before my ivf that it is best to detox the system completely and me and my partner stopped drinking completely for about 3 months before our treatment ..... I don't know if they can say either way if it can affect it but that was our first cycle and we r now nearly 11 weeks pregnant :)...... Try sitting Ur partner down and explaining how serious you need to take the treatment and how important it is to you ..... I wish you every success hun good luck xx


hi danielle thanks for your reply when i seen the consultant she did ask if he drinks and i told her and how much as i want to be honest with them but she didnt say anything about it he seems to be drinking more now ive said to him if this is important to him then he would stop

he sees it as im getting onto him and he said it stresses him so he drinks , i dont get onto him i talk but he needs to realise

thanks hun congratulations on ur pregnancy xx


Hi Ro5ie, I am sorry to hear about how you are your partner are not on the same page. I did a webinar for INUK on communicating with your partner in a way they can understand how you feel about things.

My wife used to tell me to change my driving (slow down, don't drive to close to the car in front etc. - perhaps quite common conversations in a car between husband and wife!). The moment she explained that she felt scared and I understood how she felt I no longer heard it as criticism or nagging. I could also let go of my judgement as to whether I thought it was necessary to be scared or not. I understood someone I loved felt scared and I could do something about it, by changing my driving.

When we understand how our partner feels, without judgement, blame or criticism we connect at a deeper level.

I wonder whether he understands how you really feel in all this. Not what you want him to do, he knows that, but does he know how you feel. It can take practice to communicate how we feel without bringing in blame or judgement. The webinar gives you some tips on how do that.

You can see the webinar recording here:



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