Miss informed again

I apologize in advance for this ladies.. I am about to have a melt down big time... I phoned my clinic to re order some more thyroxine and to check on progress..to my horror discovered I hadn't been signed off.. As they're saying surgery didn't fax hepatis b antigen result... And even worse than both our blood test results expire mine 22nd dec..his 27th Jan.. Now that will cost us money to re do and hassle I could screammmmmm! Am regretting ever going with my clinic now.. Worse still is having to break this news to my hubby who already thinks they're incompetent..! And I've started my period this morning could really have done without this crap.. Luckily I've brought some clear blue dual hormone ovulation kits and I'm praying so hard I fall naturally.. I wanted to be able help another women become pregnant.. But I'm not sure I can do this anymore it's too much they keep mucking us about.. I picked myself when period came and now get this.. I'm at my wits end..

Sorry for rant hope things are going better for everyone else :) X

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37 Replies

  • Oh jess. How awful for you. And what a very bad surgery for not letting your clinic know. And your clinic for not chasing. I would complain. It's not on. And I'm very sorry. You can request to change clinics if you are not happy with the one you are at. Maybe look into that. Don't give up sweetie. Lots of love. ️Xxx

  • Thanks for the reply piglet12..

    I think in the new year I may get my amh re tested again and see if it has improved since fixing my thyroid imbalance..although I do have a premature aging left ovary amh still might be low.. Worth looking into coz if it's better I can look at other clinics :)

    These clinics don't get time is of the essence and you don't wanna hang around waiting done enough of that.. It's bad of clinic to say a few weeks ago I'm being signed off and matched and then realizing they messed up..

    Trying to clutch at some positives maybe gives us longer to conceive naturally.. That's the route I take when telling hubby.. He gets cross coz he knows it upsets me..

    It's better I've let off steam here and not let him see it's upset me.. Perhaps a delay maybe a good thing give us longer to conceive..I was desperate to start ivf coz I thought it would be bigger chance of success than trying.. Given a massive 50% chance of ivf working :) I was surprised by that coz I thought it'd be lower.. Each month only has a 20% chance of conceiving.. I thought ivf would give us our baby quicker.,

    Compared to what you're going through this is trival..so I am sorry for my trival moan... Have you heard back from anyone? How are you doing know it's a silly question to ask? And how is your hubby doing? Sending lots of love to you both :)

    Thanks for your kind words meant a lot to me :) X

  • Hey don't be sorry. It's not trivial. They should not be telling you one thing then realising they have mucked up. Not on. Really is not. I am holding up as best I can. I have to have more bloods and a scan tomorrow as they are still no closer to know what is going on. It's been almost a week now. and I am pretty much at my wits end with all this. All I'm getting is we don't know what is happening. So more tests need to be done. :( I normally love this time of the year but in dreading it more than ever now. Especially as this is taking so long to sort out. Hubby is doing ok ish. He has been prescribed a drug to help him sleep at night so he gets decent rest. But I am not sleepin well at all still.y appetite is still not right either. sending lots of love back to you. Thank you for your kind words to. :) also means a lot. ️Xxx

  • Yeah tough time of year.. It brings it out in everyone.. Esp when you long for a child feels like something's a miss.. I really fantasize about having Christmas with a small child doing the Santa stuff.. Hopefully we both will Hun one Xmas :)

    I can't even begin to imagine what you're both going through ESP this time of year :( I really hope you get some answers and can begin to move forward.. I'm praying really hard and keeping my fingers crossed you get some better news and get a break.. Please do let me know how it goes can private message if you prefer too.. Anytime you need a chat you know where I am.. Big hugs to you both X

  • Thank you lovely. It is awful. I really thought this was our best Christmas present. Hopefully we both will soon. I will let you know as soon as I do. I really hope they have answers to. I'm normally very strong. But his is actually making me go mad. Thank you very very much for all your support. Anytime you want to rant you can pm me to. ️Xxxx lots of love. ️Xx

  • Hey. Sorry to hear things still dragging on for you. Maybe there's glimmer of hope if they're still unsure, maybe they want to keep leaving it for another few days in case it's all ok. I dunno hun, it's such a awful time for you both. The waiting must be hard. Thinking of you xx

  • Ah jess I'm so sorry to hear this, as if you aren't going through enough already without the hasstle of this. I hope your ok and sending lots of hugs xx

  • Aww thank you Hun.. This infertility stuff is tough and don't need so called medical experts messing up.. Trying to draw positives might give us more longer to conceive.. Always looking for silver lining..

    How's everything your end? I hope alls ok with you.. Thank you for your reply it is very much appreciated X

  • I totally agree it's such a hard journey to go through and can't understand how people we are meant to have faith in keep letting you down it's so disheartening. Not much change on my end have our info evening on Thursday so hopefully know more then. I really hope you get things sorted Hun and I'm always here if you need to rant or just for a chat :) xx

  • Thanks hunni.. I know it's not giving me much trust in my clinic tbh I now hope harder I can fall naturally with the the help of ovulation sticks ;)

    I might take you up on that kind ofter like wise you know I'm here if you need a chat/moan/rant or maybe all 3..!

    Hope your info eve is informative and helps you make a decision that's right for you both :) X

  • Thanks jess, it means a lot. Yes you never know nature could just take it's course then you could tell the clinic where to go, fingers crossed huni xx

  • Haha yes indeed my hubby said that too.. It's a race against time :p Lol X

  • HI Jess .. think I would be mad angry .. dont know how much money u paid already but think most of us pay plenty for things like this go smoothly and its stressfull enough without more hassle .. I had to do some test again while doin my consent coz lab forgot to do it .. good its only couple days for this to come back and dont have to wait another 5 or more weeks. Chin up tho and dont get upset coz its no good for us. I got some tablets with me and hv to go back for injections when I get my match. Nurse said they got quite lot waiting for eggs at the moment ... hope u get all sorted.

  • Thank you..

    It's so frustrating I thought we were getting somewhere.. And now we have gone back a step.. Bad of my clinic tho..the email said I should get signed off and matched up and a nurse would be in touch..my understanding was don't contact us coz they're be in touch soon.. Thank god I phoned yesterday and ordered some more thyroxine coz I was worried how long prescription would take with xmas post.. And I wouldn't have known the error happened I would've sat waiting for em to get in touch.. But to be fair to my clinic they are trying their best to put it right.. My surgery promised to fax the result over yesterday and I left message for lister to confirm they received the fax and the surgery hadn't sent a fax.. So my clinic are phoning my surgery to get hold of the result I hope they have more luck than I did..! I told my clinic it has really stressed me out and I was looking forward to starting ivf.. I hope things start going smoother now..

    Thanks for your reply very much appreciated.. I hope things are going better for you.. I'm baffled by the lack of communication between departments.. And in private you would expect it to be better.. But at least they're trying make amends X

  • Aww Jess, that's just not right. You've enough on your plate without the surgery And clinic messing up. Can you complain and try to get them to redo any tests needed through their messing up at there expense? I've no doubt they'd try to make it difficult by blaming each other but is it worth giving a go?

    As you say, hopefully things go your way without them. Now there's a nice thought.

    Stay strong Jess. Thinking of you. Xx

  • Thank you for your kind words very much appreciated..

    You don't need the medical profession adding to what is already is a stressful and upsetting situation to be in..

    I have spoken to my clinic my surgery have not faxed the result over like they said they did to me last night.. So my clinic are chasing my surgery for the missing result.. I told my clinic that it is really stressing me out and I was looking forward to starting ivf and now it's been delayed :( I hope my clinic get better sense than I have from my surgery.. And I hope things run better..

    How are things your end? I hope everything is going well for you Xxxx

  • Oh Jess. How frustrating - now you've discovered the error- can't they rush through? I thought that was a benefit of a private clinic? I would suggest the clinic should've followed up with your GP. Plus whys your blood results expire so soon? I'd question that too. A private clinic, told me I could use my NHS bloods, as long as they were 12months or less. Yes your GP Should've faxwd results, but in fairness, lister should've chased when they'd not been received. Plus you're prepared to 'go' in January, so would they've always asked for additional bloods and surely this should've been mentioned earlier???. I'm frustrated for you!!!! As long as it's not going to cause additional stress, defo go a break some balls.... And yes keep practising practising and practising!!! You never know - lots of love XXXXXX

  • sorry hopefuljo just seen your response.. Thank you both parties were def at fault but I'm so glad I discovered the error the other day thank god ...I could've waited months if I hadn't happen to need to order more thyroxine.. At least I only lost 3 weeks not months still bloody annoying..

    Anyway my clinic felt very bad about the whole thing ( and so they should ) despite asking my surgery to fax result they didn't carry out my request and my clinic rang me and informed me fax hadn't been received.. Bloody nhs..! Anyway I told my clinic I was pretty strssed out by it all and my clinic called my surgery and they sent the fax straightaway ..! Took my clinic getting involved to get the fax sent.!!!! I did confirm with my nurse the received the fax !! Finally my clinic have all the results in place and I'm waiting to be signed off and matched up.. I'm hoping as they messed up so badly they might push me through quicker and at least I've flashed up on their system and haven't disappeared under 100s of other ladies also egg sharing there could go in my favour ;)

    You're taking your test this week arent you? I just want to wish you the very best with it and I truly hope you get a BFP X

  • Phew- what a relief. Well done Hons. Test day Monday

  • Cut off my last message!!! Yup test day Monday- week! Thanks for kind words and keep everything crossed xxxxxx

  • Eeek, not week!!!

  • Hi jess. FFS! This is a rude saying me and my friends use sometimes when worked up! For....☆☆☆☆ sake! Is what it stands for. Honestly I can't believe what you've had to go through with various mess ups. It does make me cross. Surely they realise how emotional and stressful it all is.

    Reckon you should complain and get them to sort new blood tests for you both before Xmas. You don't have to pay for them do you?! If you do they should waive the charge because of their cock up. Definitely worth asking under the circumstances because of their error can they redo them free of charge.... and soon. They should also put you to the top of the list after all the waiting around. Not trying to wind you up hun, but we all just sit back sometimes and we're not forceful enough. But if you are paying for this treatment even more reason to stick up for yr rights and they have to take responsibility for their mistake

    Hope you get is resolved before Xmas to some extent. Stay cool! But know it's hard xx

  • Thanks for the support hope23..

    I was ready to lay into my clinic this morning but had a change of heart.. Yes they messed up big time and if I hadn't re ordered another thyroxine prescription they would not have noticed the error that came from my surgery faxing wrong result over.. The email my clinic sent basically said the nurse would be in touch and I thought that meant I shouldn't contact em.. But my change of heart came when after leaving a message with my clinic last night after closing hours..wanting my clinic to confirm whether my clinic had received the fax my surgery sent with result..anyway they phoned first thing and my surgery did not send the fax like they promised to me they would.. So my clinic are chasing up my surgery for the result and I explained to my clinic that I was really upset by the whole delay and how much I was looking forward to starting ivf treatment.. At least my clinic are trying to make amends with their mistake..which is more than my doctors surgery are doing.. How hard is it to send a fax..?! I ask you!! I hope things start getting better soon and smoother..

    I hope that things are better with you Xxx

  • Hey Jess

    So sorry you are going through this and also because of the incompetence of others that are actually meant to be helping you both.

    I say try to change clinics if that is an option opt to have tour notes transfered if you.find another.

    Good luck honey xxx

  • Thank you tamtam1..

    It is horrible when you put trust in the medical experts and then feel let down by em.. The scary thing is if I hadn't been concerned over Xmas posting possible delays for re ordering some more thyroxine ( I live a long distance from my clinic) I wouldn't have realized that my surgery made an error and my clinic hadn't picked up on the error till I spoke to em on the phone.. But my clinic rang me this morning to let me know the surgery hadn't faxed over my hubbys result..despite surgery telling me they were sending fax last night.. So my clinic are now chasing up my surgery and dear god I hope they get a better result than I managed to.. At least my clinic are trying to make amends coz they know they messed up too .. Am hoping things start to go smoother now.. Everything about this is such a hard battle.. It's exhausting..! But I'm not giving up..

    Thanks for the lovely words very appreciated :) I really hope things are going better your end Xxx

  • I'm not surprised you needed a rant after all of that. Our clinic have said our blood test results are valid for 2 years.

    It seems strange after they had accepted you for egg sharing so recently.

    Good luck!

  • Hi ladies

    Just an update.. My clinic have called me and despite my surgery promising to fax this one result over(last time they faxed wrong result) my clinic still have not received the fax.. It would appear they did not fax my clinic.. My clinic are doing their best to put things right as they are phoning my surgery to chase this up.. I told my clinic this is really causing me a great deal of stress as I was looking forward to starting ivf ASAP., words are failing me with my surgery.. Speechless hope my Clinic manage to get more sense out of em than I have done.

    Thank you all for the wonderful support that you have shown me I feel overwhelmed by it and it really made me feel better Xxx

  • Big update

    I have emailed my clinic to check if my surgery had faxed over the result after my surgery spoke to my clinic they complied.. ! Thank god hopefully can now move forward X

  • Sometimes you need a good rant - get it all out! I would be frustrated too. I think all you can do is re-group and decide on your next steps once you feel a bit calmer. Good luck x

  • Thank you hunni def needed a good rant lol. ! Anyway I had some better news.. Long story cut short my clinic chased my surgery has finally faxed the correct blood test and now I'm waiting to be signed off and matched. :)

    How is everything with you? X

  • Glad you got it sorted and are back on track! I'm good thanks. In a much more positive space than I've been for a long time which feels nice (even if nothing's changed!) x

  • Hi Jess, I'm a bit late commenting, it was rubbish for you but glad it's sorted now. And you're right to look on the positive side, you might not even need ivf. Good luck to you though xx

  • Thank you dee22 me too what a pavlova!! Think it's good to try and see the positive this situation is so hard but you have to try and see the best despite the hurdles :) Another one climbed :) Maybe it's not such a bad thing I've been flagged up on the system instead of disappearing under 100s of other women at my clinic also egg sharing :) might push me through quicker :) And there's always trying with ovulation kits in between;) With the reassurance if it dosent happen naturally (tbh after over 3 ttc I don't expect it too) then there's ivf to fall back on..hopefully knowing that will take the pressure of us :) One way or another I will have my baby :) I refuse to gives up hope :)

    How are you anyway. ? X

  • I'm ok, doing more exercise which is helping. Waiting to start a 2nd cycle after Christmas but not sure when I'll be ready, psychologically. It's 2nd and last cycle on NHS so if doesn't work, some decisions to make. I don't think I can take the heartbreak of multiple failed cycles but also don't know if I can face it never happening. It does feel like my life has been on hold for over 2 years already. Trying to be positive but it's hard so instead focussing on what I can do. i know I'm lucky because at least i have NHS funded cycles. Hope it all gets sorted for you soon Jess. The waiting is difficult. Take care x

  • Thats good you get another go but very stressful if it's your last attempt with nhs funding.. I would wait till you feel ready ivf is quite a thing to go through on itself (I haven't gone through it but I can imagine)and if you're not ready put it on hold till you feel the time is right for you.. Did your clinic give you a reason why the ivf wasn't successful? And is there anything they could do different to fine tune it for it to work next time? I can understand why you feel torn it's big decisions to make .. Have you tried speaking to anyone medical experts on your reservations? Or maybe a counsellor? I don't blame you saying that's it I can only manage to go through one more cycle then that's totally understandable.. I think I'd be the same..You must do what is right for you and your husband ? Did you manage to get any embryos frozen ? Or is if a fresh cycle? I'm scared of going through ivf but I think it maybe my only chance of becoming a mum again... It is ever so hard.. People really do not know how lucky they are to fall pregnant at a drop of a hat.. You're bound to feel cynical having been through the horror of a failed cycle.. I think more people in our situation do eventually end up with a baby..more do then don't.. So you're much more likely to have a baby than not.. :) I wish you the very best with whatever you decide to do X

  • They're making some changes to my treatment & it will be icsi. When we do it again will be our decision, clinic have agreed to that. My husband is ready, he says, but I want to be more positive & bit fitter. I have put on weight after last cycle, luckily my bmi is still ok for NHS treatment. We have no frozen as only had one embryo. IVF is hard but it's the emotional side I find is more difficult. Injections are a pain after a while but it feels like you're doing something so I felt quite positive then. Don't be put off by me, you seem quite positive so that will definitely help. xx

  • That's great they're changing it obviously they think that will work better for you both that's positive news :) .. I hope it works this time for you.. Let me know when you're starting your ivf again we might even be going through ivf the same time :) be nice to share that with someone other than hubby :) I'm sure the emotional side is the worst part I don't doubt that at all,. That's wot I worry about even when I go into my clinic for a blood test I find myself taking a deep breath and walking in.. I know that sounds insane..! Then I think wot will I be like during ivf..! It's the 2ww that I'm not looking forward too .. But all I can do is focus and hope we end up with a baby at he end of all this :) then it'll be worth it :)

    Getting fit is a really great thing to go.. Not only does it help you physically (always nice to drop a dress size!) but can really help with the stress levels..yes it doses not relive all the dress but def does take some and it all helps.. I go running 5k 4x a week and I feel great from and it's the quickest weight loss I've ever had..! Even tho I am not perfect all the time with my eating ( I have the odd chocolate bar now and then! ) Regarding ivf go at the pace that suits you I'm sure your hubby won't mind waiting.. You need to be feeling more emotionally stronger just to cope with the ivf.. :) And it's understandable you're feeling a little raw from last attempt just coz it didn't work last time does not mean it won't next time the clinic are changing wot they're doing and that might be enough to make it work :) X

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