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Fertility, Miscarriage & IVF Support
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2 yrs ttc, when it's time to see a fertility specialist?

I'm 36, married, we have no children, but we really want to become parents. We've been ttc for 2 yrs and nothing. I haven't got pregnant even once. I had zero miscarriages. We’ve never tried ivf. I think maybe it's time for us to see a specialist. At the same time I'm so scared to hear a verdict that I'm infertile. I'm almost 100% sure that I'm the reason of our long and unsuccessful ttc. DH has a child from previous relationships. So he's fertile and everything ok with him. I understand that waiting and wasting time will give nothing. I know we have to seek help. But as I've mentioned already I'm very scared. What if I'm infertile? What if doctors say we have zero chances to conceive? How to cope with such diagnosis? 24/7 I'm thinking what can be a reason that I can't get pregnant. I know I'm not young, but I'm not overweight, I don't smoke/drink... What can be a reason of inability to conceive? I'm sorry I know these questions have been already asked thousands times. I understand my situation isn't something new and unusual... But please talk to me, because I'm going crazy. I relly need some advice. Thanks xx

6 Replies

It’s such a difficult journey isn’t it.

I’ve been where you are & we tried for over 7 years with numerous surgeries for my endometriosis to become pregnant ( I’m 8 weeks)

I would advise the sooner you see your GP the better. Get the ball rolling I know it’s incredibly scary but you need to know what you are dealing with & to make a plan.

You will need to have basic hormone blood tests & an ultrasound that your GP can arrange. Your hubby needs a sperm test regardless of being a Dad. I’ve got a grown up son from a previous relationship & it was me with the fertility issue not my hubby.

Your GP is your first ball of court, he/she can refer you both to a fertility clinic where more tests will be run.

Everyone one has a right to be referred to a fertility specialist wherever they qualify for nhs funded IVF or not.

Based on the test results your fertility specialist will make a treatment plan suitable for you. It may over time change.

The sooner you do this the better you will feel & the closer you will become to having your much wanted baby xoxo. You can do this 😘


I think it’s already time for both you and your dh to see a doctor. Don’t be afraid! It’s better to face the problem and start doing something about it. If you're worried about how long it's taking to get pregnant, your first stop may be your ob-gyn or family doctor. They can perform basic tests to determine whether you're ovulating normally or may be experiencing problems with your fallopian tubes, ovaries, or uterus. While your regular doctor may be able to prescribe drugs that jump-start ovulation or perform outpatient procedures to treat fibroids or endometriosis, for example, you'll need to see a specialist for more complex procedures like IVF.

Women 35 or older, or who know they have health conditions that may affect fertility, may choose to bypass their own doctors and head straight to an RE. You usually don't need a referral to visit a reproductive endocrinologist.

Start by asking your current ob-gyn or family physician, friends, or family members for a referral. During your first phone call or visit, ask the doctor or office staff about costs, insurance coverage, and payment plans. Infertility testing and treatment require a big commitment from you and your doctor. You'll want to make sure you've chosen someone you're comfortable with and trust with important emotional and financial decisions.


I am so glad you've reached out. Waiting is so hard. I was 32 when my husband and I married so we began ttc right away. I finally did see a doctor and even began taking fertility drugs. It turns out that my ovaries were on one side. Once that was fixed, the doctor was able to clear my fallopian tubes. I was overweight, older, and had some barriers including hypothyroidism, polycystic ovaries, and then the surprise ovary flip. Once you take the first step in talking with your doctor, you are that much closer. I found chose doctors with whom I felt comfortable. Praying all goes well!


Hi everyone! My husband and I had been TTC for 2 yrs. and when it wasn't happening I thought for sure it was something to do with me..We got my husband tested and he was diagnosed with azospermia. We were told his body had problems with producing sperm. It was a very hard pill to swallow. Especially for my husband! I remember both of my best friends announced they were pregnant then. One of them with twins! I cried the ugly cry! Not 'cause I was not super happy for them. I was just very sad for myself and my husband. I had hard time seeing people post things about their babies and their pregnancies on social media. And if I was invited to another baby shower I thought I might go nuts! I'm a woman of faith and I truly believe that God has a plan. But I couldn't agree with Him at that moment..Even though I shared with a few close friends what my husband and I were going through, they all had kids so they truly couldn't understand the struggle and the pain we were facing.

I'll be praying for you ladies. Take care and God bless you guys!


This is such a difficult road to go down. I remember being so overwhelmed with the diagnosis, I thought I knew what it meant, but really didn't. I will say, you do meet that criteria (over 35, 6 months of trying). I don't say that to make matters worse, but as an encouragement that it may be time to seek treatment. For us, all seemed to be fine. I had clock work cycles, but then learned I was covered in endometriosis and my husband had slight MFI. I'm so you are feeling so scared. I wish I had the right words to make it feel easier. Saying a quick prayer for peace and comfort for you and your husband <3


I’m sorry you couldn’t conceive during these years. I completely agree with you! There is no time to waste. Both you and your dh should start thinking about next step. If you are under 35 and you and your partner have been trying for a year, talk to your doctor about undergoing fertility testing to find the cause. If you are older than 35 and have been trying for at least 6 months, experts recommend that you consult a doctor. Of course, anytime you have concerns - regardless of your age - you should talk to your doctor. Unfortunately about one in ten couples experience infertility. The good news is that the majority of infertility cases can be treated, whether by addressing the cause or by methods such as ivf, de ivf, surrogacy etc. For women, there are several conditions and factors that cause most of the cases of infertility. Let's start with age. It's the single most important determining factor for a successful and healthy pregnancy. When a woman is around age 35, her egg quality and quantity decline significantly. To put it into perspective, a 25-year-old healthy woman may have a 30 percent chance of pregnancy trying the good old-fashioned way, a 38-year-old woman has a 10 percent chance, and a 42-year-old woman has only a 1 percent chance. Aside from age, one of the most common causes of female infertility is infrequent ovulation. This is often the result of hormonal problems or conditions such as pcos, in which a woman produces excess male hormones and does not ovulate regularly. Fallopian tube blockage is another possible culprit. Blockage is typically the result of scarring, from a pelvic infection, a previous ectopic pregnancy, or surgeries such as appendectomy or removal of ovarian cysts (a prior abortion rarely affects fertility). Some women are also prone to developing growths called fibroids or polyps in the uterus; this may block fallopian tubes or lead to infertility and miscarriages. Hun, my advice to you will be to go to a specialist asap. Don’t waste time on googling causes of infertility because only doctor can make a proper diagnosis. Good luck!