My 5 year old son won't poo on the toilet

[Charlotte011]

My 5 year old son won't poo on the toilet only in a pull up, we tried taking pull ups away but my son just held it in he will hold it in for a few days at a time don't no if anyone else has had this problem and sorted it out, my son is fully toilet trained through the day and never has accidents.

[Martina8]

Hi,

We had the same thing when my son was younger. He would use the toilet to go pee, but when he needed a poo he would only go in a pull up. Eventually he agreed to go to the toilet, he was around the same age as your son.

[Charlotte011 in reply to Martina8]

So did you just keep sitting him on the toilet when he asked for a pull up or did he just start doing it himself? We are meant to be having him referred but we had a letter saying we won't be seen for at least 6 months as there is a long waiting list, hopefully he will change his mind soon.

[Martina8 in reply to Charlotte011]

Hi Charlotte,

We carried on allowing him pull ups until he was comfortable with going in the toilet. Eventually we managed to persuade him by telling him that we all use the toilet and so does his friends. If his poo is quite solid it might be better to give him a laxative or certain foods to soften it ,so that it is not too uncomfortable when he does need to go.

[Charlotte011 in reply to Martina8]

Hi yeah we keep saying his friends all use the toilet and so do we but he keeps saying I can't push it out on the toilet but he's definitely not constipated as when he poos in the pull-ups it is loose I tried everything last time we said no pull-ups he held it in for about 3 days so we had to just give in at the end, it seems like it's psychological I'm hoping he does try sooner rather than later coz he's at school now luckily he hasn't had to go at school and hold it in.

[Martina8 in reply to Charlotte011]

Hi,

My son wouldn't go in the toilet because it felt uncomfortable and he was sensitive to the smell he said it would make him feel sick. He evenually realised that it smells anyway. If we didn't put a pull up on him then he would hold it. So I would just keep encouraging him until he agreed to use the toilet.

Most children will not go while they are at school, none of my 4 would go.

Hopefully with your son will soon grow out of it like mine did.

[Charlotte011 in reply to Martina8]

Yeah I do hope he grows out of it soon I was thinking about doing a reward chart to see if it works as we have tried everything else, thank you it's good to no it's not just me who has experience this and hopefully he will grow out of this soon!!

[Martina8 in reply to Charlotte011]

I think the reward chart is definitely a good idea. It helped us to keep encouraging our son to keep using the toilet. When he did use the toilet we would really praise him(clapping & cheering).

Hopefully with everything that you are trying, he will be using the toilet soon.

X

[Charlotte011 in reply to Martina8]

Thank you I do hope so

[Redxmas]

eric.org.uk/pdf-children-wh...

Check this out for a few tips

[Charlotte011 in reply to Redxmas]

Thank you for this information I will have a look.

[Hidden]

He's not too old to use a floor potty. Many kids are frightened by the water in the toilet.

[Charlotte011 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah I did say to him maybe try the potty.

[MusicalDee]

I realise your posts are from a year ago but we're in the exact same position with my 5.5 year old. He only poos in a pull up, when he sits on the toilet he say 'it doesn't work' nothing comes out. We've tried so much but I am not sure what else to do. I am hesitant to contact the HV as I don't want to cause a fuss. A year on how are things for you now?

[Charlotte011 in reply to MusicalDee]

Hi sorry I haven't been on here for a while but just posted tonight as things no different just getting more worried about it coz we just get fobbed off as doctors just not interested!! I'm at the end of my tether, how are things with you still the same?

[MusicalDee]

We have managed to get to the stage where he will use a pull up in the bathroom, but is unwilling to try any stages towards sitting on the toilet. I have been reading up on sensory processing and using a toilet is mentioned a lot. I wonder if there’s any specialist input that can be sought. My son tells me he will use the toilet once he turns 6, this is 2 months away. If still no luck then I will try to seek professional help. His 2 year old brother is further on than him.

[Iffets in reply to MusicalDee]

Hi Musical Dee, how are you getting along? My boy is 6y6m and still refuses to poo in the toilet. He says he can only do it standing up no problem. He does not appear constipated and they are not hard or painful for him

[MusicalDee in reply to Iffets]

Hi, we’ve come through the other side. At 6 years 3 months he started sitting on the toilet but nothing would happen. At 6 years 4 months he began pooing on his brother’s potty (a bigger one that looks like a cartoon toilet) in front of the TV!. Within a few weeks he was sitting on the toilet with a seat ladder combo. All his own choice and doing.

He still refuses to wipe himself (after once getting it on his fingers), but it feels like a smaller bridge to cross! In the end we just waited and he led the way at making progress. It’s so hard though, all we wanted to do was help and encourage him. I hope things improve for you soon!

[Iffets in reply to MusicalDee]

Thats fab news, I'm so happy for you! That's very heartening to know for some kids it just takes time. He did it one time recently but won't do it again. I shall just have to wait it out I think. x