nearly 5 year old toilet anxiety

[muzzakeir79]

Hi

We have a boy who will be 5 in September, he has never used a toilet. At present he will will pee into a black bowl (the inside bowl part of a toilet style potty), we have to take this bowl with us everywhere. He will just poop his pants when he need to go, although he will hold it in to do at home whenever he can. We have tried potty training since he was 2 1/2, he did sit on a potty for a bout a week, but after this he just won't, and he gets extremely anxious whenever we have tried to get him to use the toilet. We have tried taking the bowl away, but this just cause extreme anxiety. He will hold in his pee all day if he does not have the bowl, until he is at bursting point and in pain. We have tried everything, charts, rewards, stickers etc.., one private nursery also tried their best but he still would not use a toilet. He seems to have a genuine fear of the toilet, and we do not know where this has come from. When he does go for a pee, he will only pee standing up into the bowl, which sits on top of the toilet, and he will only pee if me or his Mum is in bathroom too.

He has started school today, and we really need to get this cracked soon. He has never had a wet night, always dry in the morning.

Any help would be appreciated

[Georgina1475]

Not wanting to use the loo for wee or poo is difficult especially as he's starting school. Is he holding on until he get home to his bowl? Has he had any problems while at school this week? Only ask as I wonder how he's getting on. My son didn't poo in the loo until he was 7 and it was school that helped us there.

[muzzakeir79 in reply to Georgina1475]

Hi

He started school and has been going half days for two weeks, so he can wait until he gets home, starts full days next week. We got a referal to children's hospital, children's mental health service, they think we have to give him no choice but to use a toilet, so in October holidays we will not leave house until he is at least seeing in toilet.

[luna2017]

Is it only that particular black bowl he will wee into or would he wee in any bowl? Could you somehow make the bowl smaller so it fits deeper inside the toilet? As a way of gently getting him used to the toilet perhaps

[muzzakeir79 in reply to luna2017]

Yes it is just the black bowl, we have tried other bowls, tried forgetting the bowl, tried putting it into the toilet but all have failed, it's his anxiety that is stopping him. It's frustrating because we know once he does pee in toilet once, he will be fine.