Should I go back to GP or wait?

[Poppymum]

Hi, My 4.5 year old daughter has a problem with wetting. She does now have a wobl watch which has helped quite a lot. It is set for hourly reminders. My daughter has never initiated going to the toilet for a wee (she does for a poo). She goes if we or preschool staff tell her to, and now she goes mostly when the watch vibrates. Sometimes she wets between the hourly toilet trips but with the watch we have had some dry days (which we hadn't before!).

This is great, but she still doesn't show any signs of being aware of the sensation of needing the toilet. If she is without the watch and if we don't remind her then she wets.

Yesterday a pediatrician told us that she must just be ignoring the sensation and didn't really offer much help, saying she will eventually grow out of wetting.

Our GP had said to go back to them if the pediatrician was at all dismissive.

Is there any point going back? She had a bladder scan which was normal (a year ago). The watch is helping and we are down to some dry days and some days with one accident.

Will they do anything else or is 4.5 too young for them to do anything else? Urine samples (many over the last 18 months) don't show infection. She isn't constipated. She drinks enough.

The pediatrician said just to carry on with the watch and increase the time intervals on it.

I would like to know why she doesn't seem to be aware of needing to go though.

She starts school in September. We expressed our concern about this but the pediatrician said she may be much better by then. We doubt that as she's been out of nappies two years and has not got any nearer to saying she needs a wee or taking herself. She is reliant on people/the watch telling her.

Maybe we should just let her rely on the watch and stop taking her to doctors?

[AliStan]

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer unfortunately. She is still young and so if you think she's starting to cope better maybe it's worth giving her a bit more time but that said, I wish now that I'd not let it drop when my daughter was younger and pushed harder to get answers. I heard "she'll grow out of it" so many times from different GP's and it wasn't until she was at least 6 that anyone would even take it seriously enough to do any tests. Now at nearly 8 I still don't have any answers and wished I had a GP like yours that seems to be listening to you when you think it's not right and sounds as if they are taking it seriously. We've finally got a specialist appointment next week but from referral it was a 4 month wait for the appointment and over a year since I actually got a pediatrician to acknowledge that this wasn't just her not being bothered. I really hope for you both that she does "grow out of it" as it feels like it's been a long journey for us to get to the point where (I hope!) we'll start getting some genuine advice on how to move forwards.

Sorry, that's a bit of a ramble and probably no help at all but guess what I'm saying is you know your daughter best so go with what your gut instinct is telling you.

[luna2017]

Hi, my son is the same age and in a similar position. He has also been out of nappies for two years & doesn't seem to notice when he wees either. Does your daughter see a continence nurse? My son does and I've found her to be really helpful...

[NicHowick13]

Hello

My little girl is the same age as your daughter. I know exactly how you feel.

She was potty trained at 2 just before her brother was born. A few people thought she was to young but she wouldn't keep a nappy on and wanted to use the potty And toilet. I had no problems with her At all.

After my little boy was born she started wetting herself now and again but gradually over the years it has got worse. Pooing she is absolutely fine! She will not even tell me when she needs to go, she will happily stand or sit there and wee in her pants, all over the sofa or car seat, she just isn't bothered. She is at pre school now and starts full time school in September, she has improved at school but still we are up to at least 2 accidents per day.

I am really concerned she is going to get bullied, kids can be so cruel. She will happily stay in wet knickers all day but the smell is just awful.

My other concern is my little boy, he is showing signs of potty training but I'm reluctant to do so in case he picks up on his sisters bad habits.

We have been to the doctors about this, they referred me to a paediatrician who to be totally honest was awful, she made me cry, told me I was over acting and they wouldn't do anything until she was at least 8. I did however manage to get a bladder scan which was totally clear.

I have since been to another doctor who has said she thinks it's learnt behaviour and it will be very difficult to get her out of it. I've tried praising, ignoring, punishing by taking things of her or naughty step. Star charts, rewards, pads in her knickers which just explode when she wees.

I have however noticed that when she doesn't have knickers on she will take herself of to the toilet and do a wee, which is great but I can't let her walk round with no knickers on when we are out or she is at school.

We have ordered her a vibration watch today of Eric, to try to get her into the habit of going regular. Let's see what happens next.

[ers79]

Hi

My daughter is very much the same but has been in reception this year. She has never had any intervention apart from some urine samples. Everyone has told me to wait until she's 5. That's in july so I will go back in the summer. Our wobl watch helped for a while and we had dry weeks even! But now it's back to accidents poo and wee..... I'm out if ideas and feel your pain. I feel like the only hope is that she grows up and takes more contil.

If it's any consolation I've had lots of conversations with school about stigma and bullying and they say that no one notices at that age......

How do I get a bladder scan?