My boys story.

[mum2three]

Hi everyone. I have only just signed up and wanted to tell our story. My 6year old has never potty trained with no.2s. He soils himself daily and wets the bed every night. We got a pead diagnosis of chronic constipation with over flow soiling, and secondary Enuresis. This was only last year. Before that I have always got told that he is a boy and he will grow out of it. He wipes poo everywhere. We have had it in so many places in the house. We have it coming home on his school trousers, I have had him come home smelling of wee and covered in poo all smeared on his legs. He has a homemade care plan in place which they don't really seem to be following. I have been trying to get back in contact with his nurse led constipation clinic as it just seems to be getting worse. He doesn't take any medication! Not even calpol. So I find it hard to get his meds into him. He also is undergoing help for his behaviour at home and school. Any advise or any stories are always welcome it's nice to know I'm not alone. Xxmy

[Georgina1475]

Hi My son is 8 and until recently had never used the loo to poo. We have been under a constipation clinic since he was 3 and a half and constipated since potty trained. As you can see you're far from alone in here!!

Really push the GP to get some medicines to help with his poo, movical is a powder that mixes into drinks, my son doesn't know he's taking it, and to get referred to a clinic where the nurses understand the problem because unfortunately many GPs don't really understand the problems around constipation and what it does to the child and the family or the different medicines that can be taken for it.

After being constantly constipated it's likely your son will take a long to repair and most likely has no sensation if needing to go or having gone.

My son used to have emotional, concentration and sleep issues and this has been linked to his bowels too, to quote the doctor how can he been expected to concentrate when he's holding into all that poo.

Have a look at the Eric website there's a lot of great info on there to arm yourself with when you go to the gp including some great leaflets.

To start Will he sit in the loo for you to attempt to go? If so make a time straight after school and have him sit for 5 mins. As he gets used to sitting make it longer. Play games, reads books anything to distract his attention for a while. Blowing bubbles helps release the bum control you can't clench your bum while blowing out.

Sounds like school aren't noticing the problem as they should be cleaning him up after accidents. Has the school got a nurse that you can speak to? He needs a intimate care plan with school that details their responsibilities while he's with them. They can take him to the loo after lunch check he's clean make him sit for 5 mins and clean him up after it's their job they might not like it but it's still part of their duties. I've said it recently constipation is a disability and it should be treated as such and if they aren't willing to do so it's discrimination. Harsh I know but true, it's the line I took with our school and I worked there.

Keep in touch here. Best wishes

[mum2three in reply to Georgina1475]

Hey. Thanks so much for the reply

My son has cosmocol and another medicine which tells his body he needs to go. As you said he has lost that sensation and the message just doesn't go through to the brain. He just refuses to take them he knows they are there. One is a liquid where he only has to take 1.5ml but he refuses. He is such a big boy that I can not force him to have it. He refuses calpol as well so it's not just this medicine.

He will act up whenever we ask him to go to the toilet just to try. I always tell him I'm not angry or upset or anything I just want to make sure he is ok, clean and safe. He will lash out if pushed to go onto the toilet. He has smashed my glass shower screen in my bathroom as a result. I know the signs of when he is trying to stop poo coming out. So often say go and sit on the loo. If you can't do it not worries just make sure you are clean. And call me if you need some help which he often does.

He is with the constipation clinic I just can not get in contact with them I have been trying for four weeks! So will be going back to go for them to put in an urgent referral yet again.

The school really haven't been bothered apart from recently. The school have also stated they can't help him clean himself apparently. My boy is one of the ones that won't say if he has done something. He would just be happy to sit in it all day. And scratch his bum so he has poo under his nails and then will smear it everywhere. he has come out of school many times smelling and covered. The amount of pants I have had to chuck away is ridiculous. They tell me it's hard for them to notice when he going etc. He can go to the toilet whenever he likes but with his behaviour he is now using it as an excuse to get out of doing things in class that he doesn't want to do. I ask them to sit him down after lunch which now I think has gone out of the window. He already gets called shit bum in school :(. And the other children knows he has issues. He also will happily sleep in wet clothes as he still wets himself and pooy bum so we are always welcome having to check him.

I will have a look at the Eric website once on laptop so I can save some things to be printed off.

Thank you again for replying!! Cx

[Georgina1475 in reply to mum2three]

I wonder if powdered medicine can be put in things like jelly or home made ice lollies? I will try look into it.

[Georgina1475 in reply to Georgina1475]

Just looked on mumsnet and there was a discussion years ago about making jellies and lollies with movical diluted solution. Can your sons meds be made up this way?

[mum2three in reply to Georgina1475]

I can try and make his movicol like this but the other is a liquid medicine so I'm not sure if that would work the same?? Xxx

[Georgina1475 in reply to mum2three]

I'm going to try it today and will let you know the outcome.

[mum2three in reply to Georgina1475]

Thank you 😁. I know my son likes jelly so that would be good if it does work I can try and do little jelly sweets xxx

[Luella19]

I used to make movicol in jelly a lot. Mix up the sachet with the required water, 62.5ml to memory? Then you need to make the jelly up as per instruction but leaving enough water out to be replaced with the movicol mix. Then set as usual. I managed to work out the exact water proportions to make small amounts of jelly per day (using maybe 3 jelly cubes per movicol sachet (if that makes sense)

If you find it hard to get your son to take movicol then perhaps try senokot which only needs to be taken by the 5ml spoon (obviously check first with gp)if it is a struggle perhaps try adding that into the jelly mix, I never tried that but could work.

Really sorry to hear of your struggles, it's such a hard thing to deal with, I really empathise with parents dealing with this.

My daughter has come through it all now after nearly 4 years. There is hope, I never thought we would get there.

Best wishes and keep up everything you are doing x

[mum2three in reply to Luella19]

Thank you Hun! Will be trying this tonight.

I don't think anyone truly understands what we go through without being in our shoes themselves.

There is a little at the end of tunnel we just have to keep fighting to get him where he needs to be. Bless him x

[Beanieskeeper]

I used to make jelly with movicol and it works brilliantly, especially if you can make it into sweetie shapes, I got a Lego brick mould from eBay and made the jelly a bit thicker by adding less water, just like jelly sweets! You can also put liquid medication into them but use the normal jelly not the sugar free otherwise it doesn't disguise the taste! I don't like giving Bean too much sugar but it's worth it get the medicine into him! The other thing I do is mix the movicol into his milk and pour it onto weetabix, that disguises the slimy texture that he hates. Good luck lovely, I promise you your not alone and we are here to help if we can x

[mum2three in reply to Beanieskeeper]

Thank you. It's a nightmare. He won't even take calpol. I am going to do some tonight for him to have as a treat in the morning.

I hate it. No one understands. It took me a year to get my care plan into his school as the teacher told me he was just a boy and he will grow out of it it's so hard as no one believes me either.

[Beanieskeeper]

Oh believe me we all understand, it's the most frustrating thing and you literally have no control over it, it can drive you batty! Luckily Beans poop seems to be under control at the moment, we are on a good maintenance dose of movicol and have a very good gp, he is still struggling with staying dry but I'm hopeful we will get there in the end. His school were less than helpful to begin with when I said if he says he needs to go to the toilet he means now and he has about 30 seconds to get there. But once they had a few puddles and a soggy child to change they soon believed me and his class teacher was really good about letting him just dash out when he needed to but whenever he had a substitute the message wouldn't be passed on and we would have a wet Bean again, so frustrating! Have you spoken to the head and senco at your sons school, if you ask for a formal meeting they should put something in place to help him as it's not good for him to sit in poo all day, they have a duty of care and are obligated to look after his needs appropriately throughout the school day. Is there anyone you can take with you to support you?

Once you can get movicol into him regularly things should get easier, did you say he had overflow?

Good luck with the jelly, do you know why he refuses to take any medication? At 6 he may be able to understand if you explain why he needs this to help him x

[mum2three in reply to Beanieskeeper]

Hey Hun I have messaged you.

[Luella19]

I also used to mix movicol with milkshake, disguises flavour and texture quite well. X

[Honeym1stars]

This is almost identical to my 5yr old boy who has had a poo phobia since 2yrs and has never done 1 on the toilet!!! This started of as constipation which lasted for 2/3 years from age 2 then progress on to stool withholding. But we also have weekly wetting during the night n sometimes day as can't hold In when needs to poo .... School are ok but he will not let anyone change him or talk about it n a very taboo subject in our house Everyday he has overflowing poo in boxers but that is all he will let

Movical has been a constant battle n tried in many forms

[mum2three in reply to Honeym1stars]

It's so horrible isn't it. G soils daily and also wets the bed daily. He is in night nappies but still goes through the nappy. It's a sore subject in our house and often kicks off unwanted behaviour I feel for you really do. Xx