Day time and bed time wetting... help!!: Hi There, I am... - ERIC


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Day time and bed time wetting... help!!


Hi There,

I am new to here but am at my wits end with our 6 year old boy and thought posting here i would hear some help and advice. Our little boy wets himself various times throughout the day, it doesn't seem to bother him and he will even sit in his wet pants and trousers and doesn't even go and change. He is also still in pull ups at night as he is constantly wet through the night and is just not ready to be without them. The day time wetting has just got worse and we have no completed a bladder diary and are waiting for him to be referred. We just dont know what way to turn now and how to handle it any more with him. We have been sympathetic and also got more stern with him but nothing seems to help and improve the situation!

I thought i would join here to see if this was something that other people could comment on and give me reassurance that we are not the only parents going through this. I am starting to really worry that he is going to be picked on at school and at the childminders etc.

Thanks everyone.

Julia x

11 Replies

Hi. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. My son is almost 7 and has always had problems with daytime and nighttime wetting. He was referred to specialists when he was 4 due to frequency and urgency issues. He was getting through 12 pairs of trousers a day. He was diagnosed with an overactive bladder and a small bladder capacity. He sometimes needs to go every 20 mins. We have tried Oxybutynin and he is currently on Doxazosin, but neither seem to have much effect. He had cameras inserted under general anaesthetic last year to check the bladder and bowel. It showed a thick bladder wall and high bladder neck, which apparently accounts for his lack of sensation. We are waiting for another appointment with the specialist but have heard nothing since October. School aren't really able to cope with the frequency issues so he has been wearing pull-ups for the past 18 months, but using them like a nappy and not bothering to go to the toilet at all. He does not wear them at home and will now have 3 accidents on a typical day. I recently bought a vibrating watch and set hourly reminders to go to the loo. He has been very good and going every time it buzzes, but has still had a few accidents in between. I am hoping he will start to use this at school.

I do worry about what the future holds for him. It seems it is a long term condition, but I am hopeful that as he matures he will be able to take more control of it and manage it better himself.

I wish you lots of luck with getting help and finding some answers. Happy to answer any questions or share experiences. xx

I feel your pain! I have no real help or advice other than advising you to do what I can't do myself... I get so frustrated and upset and tense with my 7 year old daughter and it doesn't help her or me. I always feel I could cope with the wetting if she would just react and not ignore it. I don't even know how often she has accidents any more as she just won't tell me or her teachers. All I know is she is usually wet, and even if she comes home dry she smells of wee so has clearly been wet at some point.

I have recently decided to give up and now she weras incontinence pads in her clothes. It makes me more relaxed and I can interact with her without thinking about whether she has wet herself already or is about to wet herself or is lying to me.....

KCM23 in reply to Brun

This sounds so familiar !

My daughter Bella has never been fully dry, day or night and has been diagnosed with an overactive bladder for which she takes oxybutinin 3 times a day and desmomelt at night.

We have recently seen another Urologist as the first one was very much 'take the medicine and see you in 6 months' .

She now has to go for a wee once an hour and again 10 mins later. She only empties half her bladder the first time which explains why she would be wet shortly after going to the toilet.

Her teacher wears Bella's vibrating watch as for a while she was ignoring it and then sitting there in wet clothes. She is so much better but only if she is sent to the toilet. She still has no self control over her bladder so there is a long way to go. Bella has a bag full of spare school clothes that she can access herself and is also allowed to leave the classroom without asking if she needs to change. They have also allowed her to use the disabled toilet so there is more room for her.

We have had this for 5 years now and I have been through every emotion possible. I know it is really hard not to lose your rag at times, but our current urologist has advised us to just change her with minimal fuss and try again the next time. Easier said then done sometimes........

Poppymum in reply to Brun

Brun, I totally relate to your comment about worrying if she has wet herself, is about to or is lying! My daughter is only 4.5 but showing no sign of stopping the wetting and if I'm at home with her without any other distraction I spend the whole time thinking about whether she has had a wee recently, when to take her next or checking her trousers for a wet patch!

I would definitely try the wobl watch, it has made a big difference for my daughter, as we try and set it for drinks and wee's to make sure she is drinking enough otherwise she would choose not to drink. It gives her back some of the control over her bladder she doesn't have. X

Hi julia,like the others that have replied i just want to let you know you are not alone we all seem to be at various stages on the road to hopefully achieving dryness....ive been told there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Your story sounds so are definitely not alone! I'd also add that the watch has helped us. I got my daughter (who's 7 1/2) to help choose it so she took a bit of control. Like your son she would often sit in wet or damp things, often getting quite mad if I asked to check as I could smell something, adamant that she was dry when quite obviously she wasn't.

Reward charts for when she was dry had never worked for us (as she'd just hide the evidence to get the reward!) but with the watch I did reward her for going when it went off, and then for making sure she checked and changed if necessary. She just puts wet things into the bath, so she didn't need to make a big thing of it and I can deal with it later. It got her into the right habit of going and so whilst we are nowhere near resolving the actual wetting issues themselves, it has given me some comfort that she's dealing with it better herself and so less likely to be picked on for being "smelly" at school. We have been lucky too that her teacher is really supportive and lets her go out of class if she needs to plus encourages her to go every break time as a routine.

It's so difficult to know how to react with them, like you I've been through the full range of options, but by getting some of the little things under better control, it's helped me to be calmer when dealing with it all and I finally feel like my daughter and I can talk about it more honestly.

We've finally got a specialist appointment through for next month so am really hoping that will give us some better answers but for now all we can all do is find the way to cope as best we can. Hope some of this helps and good luck.

We now have a Wobl watch which has helped a lot. Our daughter is mostly taking herself or telling us when it vibrates. It also takes the pressure off us remembering when she last went to the toilet!

Hi, 25% of children who wet during the day also wet at night. Using a bed wetting alarm at night, with professional support, usually resolve both issues. You can enter this site and read more:

Very similar tale here. Son (almost 8) has always had lots of urgency and frequency. Goes 15 to 20 times a day. Out of nappies in the day age 5, but a constant stream of wet pants and sitting and ignoring the fact (we have had a lot of conversations with school about sending him to change - as he doesn't tend to do it under his own steam). He also wets when he does sports or when he's giggling a lot (e.g. tickle fights). Is a battle to get him to drink and likewise we have had ongoing talks with school - reward charts, cups to finish, and currently a sports bottle. He also has dyspraxia. Under continence service now and looks like we may try Oxybutinin as next step for suspected overactive bladder. Like many here, I knew there was a problem but GP said 'probably grow out of it'. Difficult to argue for referral when they say this, but trust your gut instincts! They began to be more interested once he was around 7 years old. Frustrating for all of us that this has gone on so long. Just out of interest - what did people do before we had drugs and treatments - did kids ever grow out of Overactive bladders at some point or did it stay with you all your life?

I could have written your post word for word! Yes, keep doing the diary, try not to get too cross (I know it is hard) and hang on in there. Our son is now 8 and we are awaiting referral to urologist after a year of no success under continence service nurses. The only good thing is that we got a night time alarm from them and a short period of use has reduced wet beds. He is now dry about 60% of the time.

There are things school can do, go in and talk to them about letting him go whenever he needs to, regular prompts for clothes changing and plenty of water (ours has been on quota of 1.4 litres a day as suggested by the nurses). Anything I can help with, message me. Got the T shirt, like many others on here :)

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