My boyfriend has just been diagnosed with JME and is feeling really low about it. Does anyone have any advice on how best to support him?

[pinkpenguin1710]

My boyfriend and I have been together over a year and our relationship is strong. He has been waiting for an appointment following a grand mal seizure in late June and finally had one - they strongly believe he has JME ( myoclonic, tonic-clonic, and absence seizures). This rules him out from a job in the army he was hoping to take up in the next few months and means he cannot continue learning to drive. He is now feeling very depressed and upset at the prospect of no longer being able to do what he wanted to with his life. Although I am doing my best to sympathise and understand, I know others also with epilepsy will give the best advice on what I should do to support him in this situation. Please help. I am really worried about him.

[EpilepsyAction1 Partner Epilepsy Action]

Hi

I’m sorry to hear that your boyfriend is going through a tough time at the moment. A new diagnosis can be difficult to deal with. It sounds like you’re doing everything you can to support him. Once the right dosage of the right medicine is found, most people with JME have a good chance of seizure control. This means that although he can’t drive now, hopefully he will be able to drive again in the not too distant future.

We have some information on wellbeing and dealing with low mood on our website that he might find useful.

epilepsy.org.uk/info/wellbeing.

And we have information on looking for work. Although the possibities of joining the Armed Forces are very limited for people with epilepsy, most careers are open to people with epilepsy. What type of work someone with epilepsy can do depends on how their epilepsy affects their daily lives and what skills and experience they have.

epilepsy.org.uk/info/employ...

The national careers service helpline might also be able to give him information on what alternative career paths could be available to him with the skills and qualifications he has. They may also be able to look at what training may be available in your area.

nationalcareersservice.dire...

Many people also find it helpful to talk to, or contact, others who understand what is happening to them. Your boyfriend might like to contact one of our local self-help groups. These include coffee & chat groups. We also have our forum4e online community, and are on Facebook and Twitter.

epilepsy.org.uk/involved/br...

forum.epilepsy.org.uk/

facebook.com/epilepsyaction

twitter.com/epilepsyaction

And if he thinks it might be helpful to talk to us he could call our Epilepsy Action Helpline freephone 0808 800 5050. We are open 8.30am-8pm Monday to Thursday, 8.30am-4.30pm Friday and 10am-4pm Saturday.

Regards

Jess

Epilepsy Action Team

[Hidden]

Hi there pinkpenguin1710

I am very sorry to hear about your boyfriend’s situation. I was in his exact situation. Wanting to join the service was always my dream, my direction in where I wanted to go. I then found out from having seizures I was unable to join the service. I was devastated and felt all was hopeless. I know completely what he is going through. He is for sure not alone. He needs to understand he is not alone especially in what he is going through. Driving limitations also take place following such diagnosis. So if he continues to be limited on driving he needs to understand you will be there to help him in anyway he needs to be helped. I know he may feel uncomfortable hearing such do to his current limitation but from you saying your relationship has been strong is showing me commitment. Commitment, understanding, and acceptance. Even with you posting such shows strength. Which he has also. To go against what has or may come his way. This diagnosis is a battle in which you two will face head on and conquer. There is no doubt you each will get through this. Stay strong, and get the help needed to find more answers. Such as an EEG, MRI, CAT scan, or Bio Feed Back. The more understanding you each have on this situation the more control you have over it. Stay strong. 👍🏻

[Boitumelo92]

Hi dear we need more people like you, please dont give up on him and keep supporting him. find as much information as you can...and you got my support also ill help to find information and supply you with one...i love both and whenever you wanna talk im here you can inbox me anytime

[Hidden]

Every newly diagnosed epilepsy patient goes through this it takes a while but it will pass once he can accept that his life has changed. No he cannot drive no army it sucks but it could be worse. My Dad got me to understand how it could be worse by showing me an old movie from the 80's called mask its actually a great movie and I learned it could be worse and that I loved that movie it was such a strong reaction I had that as an adult when I came across the DVD in the store I immediately picked it when I was 12 I learned to love each character now I can see it from a different point of view that of the mother.

It does get better at least mentally though the meds can and do cause depression in many patients. Id say start with the movie if you can find it i know amazon has it. You know the army may not be possible but he may. Be just as good if not better at something else that's all part of the journey finding your place and get him into a support group it makes a big difference and he'll meet others with epilepsy who may have advice of their own.