Men, epilepsy and sex

[EpilepsyAction1]

As 15-21 June is Men’s Health Week, we think it’s time to talk about men, epilepsy and sex. Many men with epilepsy have questions about how it might affect their sex lives and fertility. Our information aims to answer those questions. We also hope it helps men with epilepsy to talk to their partners and healthcare professionals about any worries they have. Don’t forget you can also ask questions here or contact our Epilepsy Action Helpline on 0808 800 5050 or email [e-mail] for confidential advice.

epilepsy.org.uk/info/men

[Hidden]

Thank you for bringing this subject up for men to communicate further. I am an Advocate on Facebook and Twitter and recently had sms/What's App communication with a much younger gentleman who was concerned about this subject, and who came to me for advice.

Hormones affects many women with regard to their seizures, me being one of them. I know that hormones affect men with epilepsy too! Hoping more men will discuss this further and find out the right path to take.

Regards,

Les

[EpilepsyAction1 Partner Epilepsy Action in reply to Hidden]

Hi Lesmal

Thanks for getting the discussion going. It’s great to get such encouragement. We recognise that these things are not always easy to talk about openly, so we want to encourage men to talk about it too. Our team are ready and waiting to answer any questions and offer confidential advice.

Karen

Epilepsy Action Advice and Information Team

[Hidden in reply to EpilepsyAction1]

Hi Karen,

Yes, it is a tender subject for both men and women, especially men. The person I have been dealing with was embarrassed at first, but I told him not to be... We all need advice and help and being much older than he is, he treats and respects me almost as a 'Mom'. I am grateful I was able to give him some advice and always ask how he is doing.

Hoping more men will ask questions and confidential advice.

Regards,

Les

[sporan]

Hi,

I'm sad to see that as yet no men have responded to this thread. So here I am a male 60 years old with epilepsy resulting from diffuse tumour in left temporal lobe causing epilepsy diagnosed in late 2012.

For myself it is embarrassing and emotionally challenging because a mans performance, fertility etc. is always perceived as a marker of their masculinity and standing in the crowd.

There is always the fear that an unsatisfied partner will look for comfort elsewhere.

These concerns all add even further stress and lack of confidence to those already caused by epilepsy. Stress and anxiety both being strong triggers for seizure, certainly in my case, which then becomes a self defeating circle.

I am fortunate in having a loving, supportive and understanding partner. This combined with research shared with my wife have helped a lot but still leaves niggling doubts and paranoia about worth of myself.

Of course some of the problems are related to side effect of various medications others by the location of the tumour causing the epilepsy, but the stress and self expectation to perform well is the biggest problem given that I am also no longer able to work which again reduces the feeling of self worth.

I have referral to a neuropsychologist and have had previous sessions with one. During the first part of the initial assessment my wife was present and that in itself helped in her understanding of my situation.

My advice is to not bury your feelings, doubts. Talk openly with your partner and take, ask and fight for any professional help possible.

Hope this may encourage other men to open up about their experiences. The withholding is probably the worse thing to do. Because forums such as this are anonymous it is far easier and more possible to get help and advice without embarrassment.