'...and I wish I could work full-time'

[EndoEm]

On a fairly regular basis I am subjected to a snidy remark such as 'I wish I could work part-time' or even worse 'I wish I could afford to work part-time' the implication being that I'm a lucky so-and-so for working part-time. These remarks come from colleagues I have worked with for many years and really should know better. I have to take a deep breath and not explode.

Since becoming ill my wages have literally halved. This xmas I had to sell stuff on ebay in order to buy presents. So no, I can't afford to work part-time, but I don't have a choice.

Since becoming part-time I've noticed a subtle resentment of part-time workers. When I recently dropped my hours further I found I was expected to do the same amount of work in less time! It was actually more tiring so I've now put them back up again. I've witnessed very experienced part-time workers being given junior jobs to do. My manager today made narky comments about people in the team not being able to take annual leave because I'm not in every day (soooo not true).

Because I'm part-time my career is dead in the water. The chances of a senior part-time position are zilch.

Yes, I know, I'm lucky to even have a job but that's not likely to be the case much longer. There is a high chance I will either be sacked over sick leave or made redundant when our department merges- all the 'new' posts will be full-time.

Goddammitt I wish I could work full-time!

ps: I know I rant a lot but I'm actually a fairly happy positive person

No codeine (hurrah), 50mg ami, cerezette, loratadine

[samanthac]

I agree with you and I'm the only woman in my department so when my problems get bad I can't even explain what's wrong. My boyfriends barely comfortable listening to it I think there guys head would explode!! The other thing I hate is when people say I'll have kids one day. Must admit I kind of enjoy telling them I can't

[fatefulserendipity]

I agree too, I too had to come off my team leader position and half my hours! feel like i am not contributing enough to household bills and blame myself for the financial position we are in. Cant even afford bus fare to work so on days hubby cant take me i have to walk 40 minutes to work. I also rant lol and i always try and look on bright side but it's very hard sometimes isn't it? x

[LAB82]

I agree. I've just gone back to work as a teacher after being signed off for the whole of last ter. For four days out of 5 I managed to go in an hour early but by the time the bell went for the emd of the day I was practically asleep and have made a beeline for the door instead of my previous further two or three hours of work. My work have been reasonably understanding so far but I know in the next week or two that the expectation will be that since I'm back at work I must be fine. I have been absolutely shattered, some days falling asleep at 4.30 in the afternoon sometimes just for a couple of hours, sometimes right the way thru until next morning. Then colleagues tell me 'don't worry about it we are all tired, it's just the first week back'. It's really hard because then you either end up hiding how you feel or sounding like a broken record by telling people your tired/sore all the time. I know I am lucky that my work allows 6 months sick leave on full pay per year. This year is the first time I have used any of that time but part of the reason I went back this week is that even though another couple of weeks would have helped I know I might 'need' the remaining time this year and I can't afford to go part time. It's so scary and people just dont realise and all the stress we have related to financial worries not because we dont want to work but because we want to and that opportunity is taken away. I know how you feel. I'm generally pretty positive (and being back amongst teenagers has made me feel better this week even when I just wanted to curl in a ball) but sometimes you just need to rant and let off steam. Hope your all having a pain free day. xx

[JulesUK]

I know how you feel. When I went on to Zoladex my boss let me change my hours so I started later (10am) as I was so tired in the morning. However I still worked the same hours and it meant I was just working the hours at the end of the day not the beginning. Most days I would just come home exhausted around 8pm and go to bed to then get up again and do the same thing again and again. Trying to plan meetings when I had no idea if I would even be able to walk on that day was so very stressful. In a lot of way my boss was supportive however I dont think anyone really understands how hard it it. I always felt some of my colleagues thought I was on to a good thing coming in late, if only they knew how if really felt. After my third op, where I had informed my boss I would return within three weeks, I never felt well enough to go back. In hindsight maybe if I had felt it would be less stressful and more flexible I could have managed it however I also have to accept that the nature of my job did not allow for much flexibility. I ended up taking an unpaid sabbatical and was eventually made redundant. I try not to hold this against the company, cutbacks had to be made and I was making no contribution whatsoever - albeit through no fault of my own. I have lost my profession job and a good salary but I also feel like I have lost my status (the first thing people ask is "so what do you do?" and some peoples respect (even close people) as they think I am not working by choice.

I'm not sure what your HR department is like? Could you have a chat to them to explain how you feel? If nothing else it will be a good way to lay the foundations and get something noted, if the worst ever happens and you feel that you have been unfairly treated you can refer back to that meeting.

Im sorry things are bad at work it probably feels theres no escape from this horrible condition. I hope things improve for you soon. Take care x