Don't let it ruin your life, think positive!

Had my first Lap on the 14th May, Apart from them treating some Lap, I as also had my right ovary and tube removed through Cyst and endo scaring, whilst they treated my left side. Although I'm very sore and in pain (which is expected) I could drag this out and wait till all soreness/pain has gone, but why? I am NOT going to let this thing rule my life. I just remember the day I was told I didnt have the 'C' word and but had severe endo.. to me being told that it makes this so much better to deal with... we should think ourselves lucky its not the 'C' word that many of our friends and family have suffered with (and are perhaps not here today), and just get on with the things we can girls, as much as we can, and as quick as we can (dont get hung up on those things we can't do or can't do fully).. in the words of Nike branding 'Just do it'

I am determined to be back at work Monday, even if I bent over like a gorilla and walking like John Wayne (perhaps I should go in fancy dress).

9 Replies

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  • I'm all for positive thinking but I'd be really careful about rushing back to work, I did after my first lap and ended up back in hospital with haemorrhaging. I do consider myself lucky that apart from my endo I am in pretty good health, and that in the 16 years that I have been getting on with it, I have not suffered as much as some women who cannot just do it. Its not always as simple as that.

  • Social comparison works sometimes. I suppose we all should be happy that our condition is not life threatening, but need to accept that what we have got is not very nice at all though it is difficult to accept it at times. When I saw friends the same age living life whilst I became a hermit old woman because I couldn't go out much it was hard and depressing.

    I think there are good and bad days (mentally and physically) but we need to look after ourselves and at times not just carry on regardless as can make the condition worse. We should listen to our bodies - when it needs rest it needs rest. There is a fine line between being a wuss and giving excuses, and really not being able to do it today attitude. Those people the same age as who we see run around with loads of energy are probably well, or might have other problems going on. Maybe they have other health conditions, or endo too and are just putting on a brave face.

    Whilst I tend to think positively and try and give my body as much TLC as possible, I am also realistic about this condition knowing that yes, I have not got cancer but at the same time accept that endo is horrible to have, and has quite often interfered with the quality of my life and there is not much understanding of this disease out there and that this disease is very unpredictable.

    It robs some of us from our fertility from a very young age and that to some women is as soul destroying as cancer - and there is no cure for endometriosis, just treatment. Anyway, my point is that we can consider ourselves lucky we haven't got cancer or any other worse diseases, but at the same time not neglect the fact that what we have got is a horrible disease and know that it is ok to feel shitty and angry about it. xx

  • your positive attitude is good but i agree with the others, there are aspects of this condition that are quite simply debillitating, and its not always a case 'i cant' but more like 'my body wont' - nobody at your work will think anymore highly of you for going in struggling into work being in pain, they won't think you're superwoman either, they will think why on earth has she come back to work so early if she's in that much pain still, on the other hand if you feel well enough and not in pain then go to work, i have heard that depending on what treatment you have during a lap, recovery times vary and can be up to 2-3 weeks. also, a laparoscopy is still a surgical procedure, and it is your responsibility to make sure you are completely fit for work before returning.

    there is a reason you have soreness and pain after your lap, your body is telling you it needs to recover - whilst i can also appreciate what you have said about we should all be thankful we do not have cancer, your post gives the impression of 'i'm thankful i dont have cancer, all i have is endo' i know you didn't say it in those words but if you are an endo sufferer and you describe to non-endo sufferers as 'i've only got endo and i'm thinking positive and getting it on with it' then it kind of contradicts the message that many endo sufferers and organisations are fighting for, which is for non-endo sufferers to take some time to understand that this condition CAN severely affect lives.

    get well very soon, and dont be so eager to push yourself back to work if your still experiencing pain xx

  • Thank you for all the responses. I appreciate that I may have come across a little diffirent to most blogs. I don't know about you but when I read through the comments and the blogs throughout this site, the impression I am left with is sadness, anger and depression. What I wanted to do is put across a feeling, that we can fight this, mentally and physically by getting on with what we can, rather than continue to feed it with what we can't. I appreciate that some severe cases the mind is not going to do it alone, but it helps to stay positive and still do those things that you can. So, if this is seen as a contradiction to what Endo sufferers and organisations are fighting for, then I am puzzled as being an Endo sufferer I think I am allowed to put across what I am going through and what I plan to do, as I am a fighter and I prefer to hear a bit of positive news. As for going back to work, I'm more likely to be in a safer place at work, sat at a desk surrounded by trained first aid personnel, than at home being continually tempted to push a vacuum around.

  • i hope i did not offend you, if i did i sincerely apologise as that was not my intention - just parts of the post came across as if at times we give in then we're showing signs of weakness - i do not know anybody in mycircle of friends or family who have endo, so nobody can relate how i feel daily, and how much i struggle to be out of bed and looking presentable, and that the smile i'm showing is really a gritting of teeth to get over a sharp burst of pain. i hear so many women say 'its just a painful period, i get them and i get on with it' i would dearly love 5-7 days of painful periods if it gave me 3 wks of normality - i'm also not looking for sympathy in any way, but just for people in my life to realise that sometimes there are things i cannot do, or for my friends to understand why i have not attended a social gathering instead of just assuming i'm being miserable by not going.

    i applaud your positive attitude, and as far as i'm concerned we are all fighters but we all deal with pain in different ways - i hope you feeling well xxx

  • I can understand where you are coming from in the sense of not wanting to give in to Endo. I am quite a headstrong person and hate that this disease controls my life and takes away my control over my own body.

    I have dragged myself in to work in the past and tried to keep going, although I am over that stubborness now. I dont give in to it but I do consider my own wellbeing to be more important than rushing into work.

    At times when I did that I would regret it and caused myself to suffer not just in body but in mind also. The thing that gets me is the total lack of understanding that people have, not that I look for pity but it would be good if there was a better understanding of just what kind of pain, emotional turmoil etc that sufferers have to put up with. A lot of them believe it's just bad cramps. Usually when people see me at work they assume I am fit for work and so they dont offer the support that I may need. And why should they, so now I look after me.

    I hope you are feeling a bit better now and keep your positive attitude, its part of you. Just try and look after yourself :o) x

  • I liked your post, I found your positive attitude refreshing x

  • Good for you for staying so upbeat! It's not always easy, and it's great to have a reminder of how important it is.

    But the people reminding you to look after yourself are right. I'm a boss, and much as I love my staff, I don't want John Wayne or a Gorilla in the office - I'd really rather they took the time and got better.

    I completely understand the desire to get back to normal - and I'm struggling with this myself (just had a laproscopy, and desperate to get back to work), but I'm trying really hard to be patient. It doesn't come naturally, but I guess it's one of the things that endometriosis teaches....

    Good luck with your recovery.

  • :)

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