trying for a baby with suspected endo - Endometriosis UK

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trying for a baby with suspected endo

l_fulk profile image
16 Replies

I’m basically typing out loud from my head…

I’m 20 and scared of being infertile, your stories are so inspiring and has made me feel more at ease!!

did anyone feel like they wanted to start trying, just so that they knew they were fertile or not? I’m thinking in a year or two. When I have graduated. I’m in a secure job and in a strong, long relationship x

Would just like anyones advice really as my fiancé bless him wouldn’t understand how I’m feeling (pain wise) as I’m a woman and he’s a man lol. He’s very supportive however and we’ve both talked about our options and our wishes x

16 Replies
Avourneen profile image
Avourneen

Have you been diagnosed with endo ?

Lots of women have endo and are not infertile. The fact that you are so young makes it less likely too. I think it would much more sense to go and have a scan and see if you have endo and if you do see where it is and how bad. It might not be bad at all.

You have a fiancé and if you are serious enough to get married then you should be able to talk to him about anything. If you are planning on trying to get pregnant withut even discussing it with him that basically means you are planning to make a huge change in his life and yours without telling him, that's not being honest at all.

Being dishonest with your future husband even before you get married would not be a good start and if you do get pregnant he might grow resentful towards you if he knows you have decided to do this without telling him.

Why not go to a gynaecologist ask them to get you cheked over and have a scan. Then they can tell you for sure if there are any reasons to be worried. In the meantime talk to your partner and tell him you are a bit worried about this, if you are going to get married you need to be able to talk honestly with him about everything.

l_fulk profile image
l_fulk in reply to Avourneen

I talk to him everyday about everything. We’ve both talked about our options etc. i just meant he wouldn’t understand me talking about my pain lol. I would never do something so drastic without him being happy about the idea too x

Avourneen profile image
Avourneen in reply to l_fulk

If you do have endo it does last all your life, there isn't a cure. So the pain will be there all the time , I think you will have to talk to him about it and I think that it's really important that he understands. I think it's a good idea to get pregnant while you are young but trying to get pregnant just to see if you can is probably not a good way of checking if you are fertile. Just go and get checked over by a doctor this would be better for you, your fiance and any future baby. I'm sure they will tell you there's nothing to worry about and it will put your mind at rest.

Good luck. xx

l_fulk profile image
l_fulk in reply to Avourneen

thank you, I’ve had countless scans x

I’ve been told my ovaries are quite bulky and I’m waiting for my laproscopy.

Endo seems to be hereditary in my family xx

Avourneen profile image
Avourneen in reply to l_fulk

One good scan should show if you have endo. It is defineitly hereditary so if you have relatives with it it's likely, but that doesn't meann it's definite. If you have had an MRI by a specialist sonographer it will show up even a trans vaginal ultrasound will show it but you need a go to person who knows what they are doing doing the scan. I've never heard of a bulky ovary, bulky uterus is a sign of adenomysiosis but I have no idea about bulky ovaries.

Be really careful about having a lap unless you have a definite finding of endo, every operation you have causes internal scarring and that can sometimes cause more problems than the endo itself. Get a really good surgeon I had two operations that were a complete waste of time and probably made things worse rather than better now I can't have any more treatment because I'm so scared inside.

Try to go to a specialist gynae at at BSGE centre you have a much higher cahnce of getting a surgeon who knows ehat they are doing, But you might not have endo at all your scan results don't sound like they show any definite signs of endo. You might be lucky and have the genes form the other side of the family for this, don't feel that it is certain but do get everything checked.xx

l_fulk profile image
l_fulk in reply to Avourneen

That’s what I was thinking, although I have like every symptoms of endo/PCOS. they said because I’m saying pain is all around my belly they think it could be bowel related too? How would I push to get this checked? Thank you for your advice! X

Avourneen profile image
Avourneen in reply to l_fulk

I think pain is very individual when I first had endo and it wasnt too bad i just had very bad pain in each ovary area evertime before and during my period but it got worse and worse until the pain was all month and in my back too.

I went to see a really brilliant ex gynae surgeon and sonographer (does the scanning) in London. I had had two MRIs which showed endo but the reports were a bit vague just saying it was extensive and which areas etc then I had to go to gyane to see what he thought . But with the guy in London it was much easier.

I booked an appt went down (I had to wait about 2 weeks) he did the scan really carefully without hurting me and was very reassuring he talked through everything he found while he did it and then I had half an hour afterwards to ask questions. He sent a report back detailing everything to my GP the next day and gave me recommendations of two surgoens who could help.

Because he is an ex surgeon he is not pushing for anyone to have surgery if they don't need it. If you go to aprivate surgeon every op is more money for them so they can sometimes push you to have an op when it might not be necessary. He told me everything that was wrong, exactly where the endo was, what I should do to try and stop it growing, what kind of op I might need and how risky an op would be for me.

It was private and it cost 400 pounds but a private gynae appt is at least 150 and that doesn't include a scan and an MRI is usally about a 1000. So for me this was the best money I've ever spent I came out totally unstressed there was no long wait i was fullt informed of exactly what was wrong and I knew where togo and what to do next. With the scan I had on the NHS it took months and I think they even mixed it up with someone elses because they said I had a lost IUD in there and I have never ever had an IUD put in!!! So I did not feel I could rely on the results.If you can get the funds together I would suggets this it might really put your mind at rest.

l_fulk profile image
l_fulk in reply to Avourneen

this is so good to know! Thank you for that!! Is it possible to private message me so I could know and research more about him etc? Xx

Ylime90 profile image
Ylime90 in reply to Avourneen

Just to jump in and say that MRI and ultrasound doesn't always show endo. All of my scans were clear but laraposcopy found endo: my doctor said this is common.

Avourneen profile image
Avourneen in reply to Ylime90

I think a lot depends on the sonographer. There is a massive difference between someone who is an expert doing a scan and someone who isn't. The latest medical guidelines and studies show that MRI is actually more effective than a laparoscopy for spotting deep endo. For example surgeons often miss adenomysiosis and this is very easy to see on an MRI. Also all reputable surgeons would suggest a scan before a lap to help them see exatcly which areas need to be targeted. It is possible that endo can be missed on scans but with a good sonographer it is very rare. I think the problem is poor sonographers, the first one that saw me on the NHS actually mixed my scan up with a different persons!!

l_fulk profile image
l_fulk in reply to Avourneen

nobody has offered me an MRI unfortunately xx

Avourneen profile image
Avourneen in reply to l_fulk

If the gynae you are seeing has suggested you have an laparoscopy without an MRI then he/she is not a very good gyane. That is really abd practice, try the guy in London he does TV ultrasound but his work is as good as an mRI and cheaper. He will be able to tell you what the problem is right away. xx

Dee_EndoUK profile image
Dee_EndoUKModerator

Hi l_fulk

It's lovely to hear that you have a supportive fiancé and that you've found this forum a great source of support too.

We can totally understand your anxiety over fertility and endometriosis - hopefully your forthcoming laparoscopy will give you some of the answers you are looking for with regards to a diagnosis. If you haven't already looked at our website, we do have a 'Getting Diagnosed Treatment Pack' that is full of information and can be downloaded from endometriosis-uk.org/gettin...

Endometriosis can make it more difficult to conceive, but it's not necessarily the case and many people - even with severe endometriosis - can have a natural conception. We have further details on our website here: endometriosis-uk.org/endome...

Wishing you all the very best - please do reach out on the forum if you have any other questions or need reassurance x

l_fulk profile image
l_fulk in reply to Dee_EndoUK

thank you!! X

ZiggyandBC profile image
ZiggyandBC

Hi lovely. We started trying for a baby before I knew I had endo and because we couldn’t concieve naturally that’s how I was diagnosed with endo. I’m 23 now and we started trying when I was 21. We needed IVF as the endo blocked my tubes meaning it’s impossible to get pregnant naturally. This isn’t always the case and you might have no problems at all with conceiving but it does happen. I’m currently pregnant after our first round of IVF so even if you do need fertility treatments to concieve, it’s not all doom and gloom:) Glad your fiancé is supportive, it makes the whole thing a lot easier having someone in your corner ❤️

l_fulk profile image
l_fulk in reply to ZiggyandBC

congratulations 🥰 how lovely! Thank you xx

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