Pcos and Endo

[Lovelylovey]

Hello my fellow beautiful and strong women.

This is my first time posting although I tend to read a lot of the stories on here. I want to say that you all are so strong, and it encouraged me to speak out.

I wanted to know if any ladies are feeling vulnerable in their relationships? Do you feel as if you’re the burden, less attractive and over all just yucky?

I am 29 years old and before I was diagnosed with endometriosis and pcos I got engaged. It put me on top of the world! We always talked of family and children.

After engagement I went for my 1st Lap and it was down hill from there. On my second Lap I got my Fallopian Tubes taken out due to one being stuck to my pelvic wall and the other blocked. It feels like I was robbed. I try to talk to my fiancé and it hard for him to understand how hopeless and guilty I feel. For the most part I am a pretty strong out going loving funny person! I love to be social and keep a smile on my face but these days it seems I cry more then smile. I’m reaching out in hopes that maybe one of you ladies possibly understand and is willing to share your journey with me. I feel lost lonely and helpless but I know someone strength can help me through.

I wish you all the best 😊

[Bubble_by]

Hi Lovelylovey,

Welcome to the community and well done for opening up 💕

Endometriosis has always played a part in my past relationships too - I've always worried (and still worry) that men will reject me due to the fact I couldn't always give him what he wanted. My ex wasn't particularly understanding (I didn't know I had endo then) and used to come out with insensitive things all the time and whilst it wasn't the sole reason that the relationship ended, I feel it may have contributed somewhat. Its also given me a bit of a complex now in terms of meeting other boys and it's made me less of a risk taker too.

It's definitely made me feel not so great about myself too, so I do understand what you mean. But I had my first laparoscopy about a month ago and they did find (mild) endo in various places which was excised. In a way I'm happy the found endo as I finally had answers to why I've had problems for so long and what I could do to treat it,so now I know there's hope I dont feel so rubbish anymore as I know it will get better now.

I understand about you talking to your fiance and being worried - I certainly got the feeling my ex didn't understand it at times - but don't forget that we are always here for you as a community if you ever need to talk (or just have a rant haha).

I hope things work out for you and you can feel better soon - we are all in this together, so please don't ever feel like you are alone in this ❤️

[claudia_d in reply to Bubble_by]

You are lovable and you deserve someone kind and patient. And is out there. Don't be insecure, is good you found out early...What if you were to find out he isn't there for you when you had kids & morgage?

You are enough and I can assure you there are guys that support & love women even if they have endometriosis. A worthy man will never step back because of it!

[Bubble_by in reply to claudia_d]

Thank you so much for your kind words... Yes, looking back he wouldn't have reen the right one anyway. Its nice to know men out there who are understanding still exist 🙂

[rebekah2311]

Sending hugs ❤️

[Lovelylovey in reply to rebekah2311]

Thank you 🥰 hugs received

[Char411]

Completely understand the feeling like a burden and less attractive . Stay strong xx

[Jbp222]

Hi there! To some extent I know how you feel, I have endo and pcos. My symptoms were so bad I never left the house for about 4 years (26-30yrs). I was married and together with my partner 12 years. 3 weeks before my 2nd lap (the one that ‘fixed’ me and significantly reduced my symptoms), my husband left me for another woman for good. The entire process was completely devastating as he was the love of my life....and then...after the op my life changed again. I felt incredibly better, I began to eat extremely healthy, didn’t go back on the pill. Miraculously my acne was manageable and I lost a ton on weight (I needed to). I realised that my ex husband was very little support and completely lacked understanding. I realised he didn’t return the support I gave him with his long term illness. I started to move on again with my life and I realised that there will be hard times and if the person you are with truly loves you, they will be there for you no matter what, tubes or no tubes, pain or no pain. And...if they leave you, it’s no reflection on you either and you’ll be better off in the long term. You deserve to be with someone who’s with you through thick and thin! And men as stupid so give them a chance to understand 😆 Wishing you all the best through the journey xx

[Pippax]

Hi,

My partner has ME, and often feels ‘useless’, ‘disappointing’ etc. It is always him thinking this and not me.

Yes it is hard hard to be with someone who is really sick. But, it is not hard to love them. If anything, the challenges we have been through make me love him more not less.

One thing we have had to work through is feelings that he is a ‘burden’ and I would be better off without him. Our conclusion was that if I want to make that choice to stay then he should respect that and trust that I know what I am doing. It is for me to decide not him.

It can be hard to see it at the low points but, if they are the right person then disability or illness can actually be a positive thing.

Just wanted to give the perspective of someone on the other side of these kind of thoughts.

Pippa x

[Lovelylovey]

Thank you so much for your perspective. It means a lot. What you said is beautiful “ it’s hard to be with someone sick but it’s not hard to love them”

Luckily my fiancé has been really supportive and I seem to be the one coming to these conclusions for him. Thank you again for sharing with me.

[claudia_d]

Oh hun I know how it feels to have more days when you cry more then smile.

What I've learned with endometriosis is that you need to be kind to yourself, after all you have suffered enough! Is though on your body the surgery, the pain, you may even have hormonal imbalances that make you feel vulnerable and put you in a bad state.

Remember you are enough, you are lovable <3. I mean how lucky are you, you are engaged!!

I am putting together some articles about some topics that I see way too often. This is in very early development stage but feel free to take a peak and give some feedback endo-fighter.com/