I am just being selfish

[kitten4687]

I feel like giving up , I dont say that for the sake of leaving this life that scares me but i am in a state at the moment where i geel i would be happy to disappear,

Right my story , when i was 7 to now 32 i have suffered with migraines , at the age of 16 i had my menstral, and from the age of 20 i have had bad cramps heavy bleeding , at age 21 i had had 3 miscarriages with the last one being the worst at 15 weeks.

at 22 i was diagnosed with IBS and daily migraine syndrome was put on the contraceptive implant

At 28 i was referred to a gastro surgeon who refused to treat me and referred me to a gynea o. the basis he believed me to have Endometriosis,

At 29 i had lap and had endo removed but was in ny puch of douglas and wasnt able to remove all but i had the marina inserted this was 3 years ago.

Now i have crippling pain again which causes vomiting and diarrhoea i am on cocodomol for the pain but am concerned abput the effects this may be having in ny body, along with Sertraline for my anger and depression.

I just cannot find anyway of being well and i feel everyone i am making contact with i am bringing down with me.

I try to continue a good life which i know i should be grateful for , i have a job (working 45 hours a week) and i pay my mortgage(for a decent house)(which i am unable to fill with family ) i have my husband(who is my rock , but i wil push him away as i loose my sh”t a lot and he is the one who is in my firing line).

But sometimes i wonder is it worth it (i jnow this is very selfish of me) or would i be happier to give up and (i dont know)

I just dont want to be in pain or feel so angry anymore

Sorry for putting this on here but i need to put my feelings down x

[Ninfrisby]

Hey. I’m sorry to read all you have been through.

Sometimes it does seem so tough, but your more than the pain. Your amazingly keeping down a job and you have have husband.

Keep going, keep fighting and one day you will beat it.

Sending you a hug 🤗 xx

[kitten4687 in reply to Ninfrisby]

Thank you for your words , and thank you gor a much needed hug x

[kitten4687]

Hi , i am in the uk yes, last time i went to see a gynea i was put on 4 months worth of Pro Strap since then been given the cocodomol and naproxen to take for the pain , it just feels when i go see a medical profession they read my notes say i had a lap 3 years ago had a dose of prostrap to help the marina stettle in and then make me feel that i am just an incurable illness

[Starone]

Endo is a terrible disease. You will get through this dark time and this pain won’t last forever. Maybe some counselling would help or go to GP and talk through how you’re feeling, plus discuss any pain medication? I was prescribed naproxen, which caused less side affects than codeine. Take care of yourself - you matter - big hug x

[KJ26]

Hello, I'm so sorry to hear of everything you have and are going through. I definitely agree with the comments made, you need to maybe go back to your GP and start a fresh. Explain how it's all making you feel and that something has to change. Counseling would be a good idea as you've obviously been through so much. Please don't give up. Even though it may not feel like it right now, your

doing amazingly. I'm sorry I have no real great advice for you, all the endo stuff is pretty new to me. Sending you lots of love and hugs. Keep fighting, you will get through it! Xxx

[lap1]

Hi, I’m sorry to hear your story. Please consider zoladex: it worked for me. Also there is the option of total hysterectomy: both these things may bring relief. I say may because it’s not guaranteed but it does work for may people including me and so worth considering .

[kitten4687 in reply to lap1]

Thank you for your reply , when i have asked about a hysterectomy in the past all i get is your too young i am feeling more certain that this is what i want , think now maybe the time to be pushing for this ,

I know its the same for all of us but why do we have to keep badgering our medical professions

xx

[StefaniaJW]

1) Endometriosis does not disappear with a poorly performed laparoscopy and a Mirena coil fitted in. You've been suffering from it for 13 years before you had the laparoscopy and you're telling me you only had it in the Douglas pouch? I highly doubt that. It sounds like the surgeon who performed the laparoscopy was not a highly skilled excision surgeon and I highly recommend you PM me to get to get the names of the most experienced and well-trained excision surgeons in the UK.

You don't need a drug for anger and depression. They will completely disappear once you find a doctor who listens and is able to genuinely and profoundly help you, so please hang in there until you book an appointment with a specialist.

2) As far as migraines and miscarriages go, if both happen the undelying issue might be a MTHFR mutation. Were you ever tested for that? I strongly recommend you ask your gyn or a genetist to have that test done. In case it comes back you have the mutation, you will need to take FOLATE (NOT FOLIC ACID!!!) to reverse the condition.

A vitamin B complex is also very helpful when it comes to migraines and helps with endometriosis too, so look into supplementing vitamin B2, vitamin B6, vitamin 12 .

As far as other supplements go, magnesium, zinc, selenium and antioxidants (such as omega 3, glutathione, vitamin C, vitamin E, astaxanthin, pycnogenol) are super duper helpful.

You might be lacking iron and vitamin D too so get those tested.

Migraines could also be related to what you eat, whether you spend time outside or not, how much you sleep and how well. I suggest you look into revolutionizing your eating (go for lots of fish (especially sardines, mackerel, tuna, salmon), veggies (both raw and cooked, at least 2-3 times a day), lots of still water, some nuts, whole or gluten-free grains like corn, rice, quinoas, some fruit. Pasture-raised eggs (twice a week) and grass-fed meat (once a week tops) are ok too. DO NOT eat desserts, sweets, cured meats, any dairy, anything processed or fried, anything precooked or prepacked. Try to choose matcha green tea over coffee. Herbal teas and rice/almon/coconut milks are ok too. Overall eat mindfully and very healthily. Obviously avoid alcohol and smoke completely, preferably for the rest of your life or at least until menopause.

Try to spend as much time outside as possible walking or doing some light stretching or yoga. Try to sleep at least 9 hours per night on a steady mattress with a thin pillow, preferably on the side or with your face upwards. Meditation is also helpful.

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry you are having to experience all this.

Much love xx

[ourmolly]

I know how you are feeling. I have had issues from starting my periods at: 14. Even after having a hysterectomy at: 28 i still have issues and I am: 64 now. I had very heavy periods with large blood clots. I ending up having an emergency hysterectomy as my periods were so bad I could not have another one due to immense pain and huge clots. I also had to have my cervix removed when I had my hysterectomy. They would not remove my ovaries because of my age. However, I have had rectal bleeding, with clots for many years, which I still have. I wanted them to let me have a colostomy but this was not possible due to the lining of my bowel being very thin. I also have a rectal ulcer. I also have big issues when eating. I can only eat small amounts of food otherwise I am doubled up in pain and I have to go to the toilet within minutes of eating. Hence, we cannot go out for a meal because of this issue. I advise you to keep stressing your issues to your GP and Consultant. Do not keep suffering.

[Lynne_support Partner Endometriosis UK]

Hello kitten4687.

I'm sorry to read that you are struggling with your symptoms at the moment.

You may find some of our support services helpful, we have a Helpline that can offer support and information, or just a listening ear. The number is 0808 808 2227. You can find the opening times on our website endometriosis-uk.org/helpline.

We also have a network of support groups around the country, these are run by volunteers who all have experience of endometriosis themselves, so will understand what you are going through at the moment. You can look for your nearest group here endometriosis-uk.org/find-a....

You may find some of the information on our website helpful if you are considering going back to your doctor to get another referral to a specialist, you may find the information on the NICE guidelines useful endometriosis-uk.org/NICE.

I hope you get some help soon

Lynne - Endometriosis UK