Endometriosis UK
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Everyone seems to be pregnant (rant- sorry!)

Hi everyone

During my last laparoscopy my right Fallopian tube was removed as it was too damaged by endo and I was diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis. I was told at that point that my fertility was significantly reduced- through research myself I’ve found that typically women with stage 4 with one tube only have a 1-2% chance of conceiving naturally. I was devastated at the time but even more so now as everyone seems to be getting pregnant around me. I am trying not to be bitter towards them because they deserve their babies and it isn’t their fault that my body is broken. I just feel jealous and upset, I just want to be normal :(

How have others got through things like this? Any support welcome x

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I have Adenomyosis and possibly Endometriosis however everything you read online says you have a high change of miscarriage and I refuse to put myself through this. My gynaecologist says there is no evidence to support this though. It’s all rather confusing. I have not really been maternal however I do notice when others are pregnant and I feel I am letting my husband down. It’s not meant to be for everyone and I try to be grateful for what I have got already, nice family & friends as opposed to concentrating on what I don’t have x

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You have a good, more positive outlook than me :)

I’m very maternal and work with children so I’m struggling to come to terms with my very small chances. I’m hoping that I have some kind of miracle! X

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I'm sorry your feeling so down Hun. I also have stage 4 Endometriosis & practically every friend, cousin, colleague got pregnant while I was trying to conceive so I get where your coming from! I didn't lose any of my tubes however both my ovaries had a fair bit of damage. Somehow I did manage to conceive naturally twice after years of trying but lost both babies. I don't really have any advice as I got really down, angry with my body etc but I guess if it's something you really want then we just keep on fighting. I had IVF as due to my age time was running out. I'm extremely lucky to now be 28 weeks pregnant & my chances of success were not amazing. I was really negative & definitely didn't expect it to work. Please remember some of us are lucky enough to still get a happy ending. I so hope that's the case for you too. Wishing you lots of luck xx

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It’s horrible. I want to forget the bad news but it’s being flung in my face, I know it isn’t their fault but it doesn’t make it any easier.

I’m sorry to hear about your difficulty but congratulations that you’ve finally got your little one (almost!) :)

We are going to try next year so my fingers are crossed! Xx

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I know the feeling! Before diagnosis - no one pregnant (or at least they hadn't made it public knowledge). After diagnosis of stage three endo - everyone and their mum is pregnant. One of my friends had been keeping quiet about being pregnant (she is high risk so waited until she out of the first trimester) and announced it just over a week after my diagnosis. I am 25 so I knew it would be happening soon but that close to my diagnosis felt like a punch in the gut!

I am not quite ready to start trying for a baby, I just brought my first house with my partner so we are broke! But I do want children, but I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea it might not be on the books for me. Which is a thought that some times I am fine with and other times I am devastated by.

If it helps, one of my friends mum has stage four endo and was told she wouldn't be able to have children. She went on to have a girl and two boys naturally. Miracles do happen, try to stay positive!

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Sorry to hear about how you’re feeling too.

I’m 25 too so it’s time I suppose that everyone starts to settle down and have children. We are hoping to try next year so I’m keeping my fingers, toes, eyes, everything crossed! Haha

The diagnosis does make it a lot harder but like you say, there are always good news stories out there. Thanks :) x

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Hi Hun, sorry to hear you are feeling so down! I have been struggling with fertility issues due to endo for just coming up to three years now (I am 25 in Feb) and I for one can attest that some days, you just want to shout at the world for being so unfair. I understand what you mean, at our age people are settling down & before you know it one day you're scrolling through insta or Facebook and it only seems that someone is either announcing they are pregnant or showing off their newborns in hospital. It can be so hurtful; like a punch to the stomach & only you know the true pain.

But just remember to be kind to yourself & to not give up hope - stranger things have happened! Life is long & everyone's journey and experiences will be different; there are so many other things that you will have in your life, that others will only dream of having. Try not to use negative words to describe yourself either, you are not 'broken' you are strong for going through something so hard to come to terms with & to carry on each day. And what is normal anyway? Accepting that life has dealt you a shitty hand is incredibly tough; but it makes you all the much stronger & capable for doing so. You are doing great x

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Sorry to hear about you too. It is so hard because we are at the prime age of everyone getting married, having kids etc. I do have days that I just want to scream into a pillow when I see posts all over social media of cute babies and scans and nurseries.

I know, people have shared some happy stories so I have some hope, I know that I could beat the odds but when I’m down I just can’t see it. Thank you for your supportive message, it’s lovely that you’ve taken time out to make me feel better and it is appreciated! :) x

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I can totally sympathize in a similar situation, I've only just been diagnosed roughly 3 months ago via lap. But was told then one of tubes was blocked poss due to endo damage poss due to 4cm fibroid on back wall of uterus.

Still don't know what options are there.

Don't know what stage I am but had an extensive amount of endo removed?

Had a flare? since that landed me in hospital due to the severe pain and vomiting and they said best plan was to start prostrap and see how things are in a month. To try and leave a more time between surgery.

But I'm exactly the same position life wise, a lot of my friends and cousins already have kids and are pregnant. And I'm finding it really hard to come to terms with the fact that it might not be that easy or even on the cards for us?

Everyone wants to stay positive. And I do too. But it's hell of a lot to take in. And you just feel all over the place right?

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My tube was completely blocked with endo so it was removed so now I’m just down to one. I was told to try for 6 months and then approach my consultant to explore IVF. I’d recommend speaking to your consultant/gp about it as they will know much more depending on what stage they know you are at.

It is a hell of a lot to take it so we’re allowed to be miserable and annoyed about it at times. I think we need to be kinder to ourselves because our bodies may surprise us!

Take care of yourself x

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Yeah I need to find out. Still haven't seen my Consulant/ surgeon who did the lap.

The gp seemed quite blase about it like well you still have one viable tube?

But it doesn't put your mind at rest.

When I was in hospital one of the gynaes read the surgeons report out to be but I was in a lot of pain at the time and pretty drugged up so didn't take it all in, I do that one of the tubes is completely blocked when they did that test.

Hoping to get more info when I go back in a few weeks. We want to start trying soon and want to know what the odds are :/

Yeah finding it all a bit overwhelming, went from not knowing I had endo to it being pretty severe, only having one viable tube, surgery and now on estrogen supressing hormone treatment which I don't think is helping the worrying!

Like you say if we're kind to ourselves and our bodies we might be lucky.

We could be those lucky one's who do manage to conceive.

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Your story sounds scarily like mine! I had no endo a year ago when I had my first lap and I went from that to severe stage 4 and a tube removal within a year. I hope you get your answers from your gynae and you can start trying! I was told by mine it is best to start trying a couple of months after your lap so your body is ‘back to normal’. I’m remaining on the mini pill until next year as we’re holidaying in a high risk Zika virus country soon.

Fingers crossed for us both!

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Hi,

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling that way, it's horrible.

I haven't had my tubes removed. We're not planning nor preventing, so just seeing what nature does, which is nothing! Bit frustrating.

I'm coming to terms with it by not worrying about it, not making it a big deal, it's just procreation and something we're evolved to do, it isn't a big social thing or a status or a right of passage, or a label to say you've lived your life. I believe we should take each day as it comes, I'm not religious just spiritual; some things happen, some things don't and they happen for a reason, it's not always up to us to work out what that is, it's paths in life and some paths we can choose, some are just ones we're not meant to be on. For whatever reason one path is marked off from us often other paths open. Sometimes it can be a point in life where our inner self is asking us to take time and just be ourselves. When we become the best version of ourselves, often new paths appear, who knows where those will take us.

You do have a horrible condition, like all of us on here. It is part of you, embrace it, learn to live with it, work with it, let yourself be free and have good days and bad days, after all you're entitled to them. We don't know what paths others have taken, or what struggles they have been through to get to what you see of them today, so don't worry if you're not like them, you are you, so just be you.

Take time to enjoy you, appreciate those whom love you, and care about you, take the time to tell them and show them, we're not on this earth for long. Really notice the world around you, see that world. Make yourself the best version of you that you can be then you've achieved something :)

I've found yoga helps to understand your body and it's potential, mindfulness for your spirit - to really see the world around you, and meditation for your soul -to appreciate and value you.

Hope that helps xx

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Your attitude to it is brilliant! I’m going to stop worrying so much and see what life has in store for me. Sorry that it hasn’t worked out for you so far but hopefully things will change when you least expect it.

I’m starting to become more positive sometimes, I just have down days like when I wrote this post and I feel like there is nothing good. It’s hard like you say but I will learn to live and accept the cards I’ve been dealt.

I’m starting yoga with a friend soon who knows about my condition so she’s being supportive which is really nice. I’m hoping that will help- even if it only helps me mentally!

Thank you and good luck :) xx

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