Miscarriage

[MichyK]

I am 44 years old and after trying for a baby for over a year and a half - i was diagnosed with endometriosis during that time - I find out that I am pregnant.

I am absolutely over the moon as I was told the likelihood of falling pregnant naturally, if at all, was slight!!

I had always hoped to be a mum but never thought it would happen especially being 44 and then being told I have endometriosis.

I go see my dr - she makes me do a urine test and then congratulates me, tells me I am 6 weeks pregnant and sends me to the early pregnancy unit at my local hospital.

I go to the hospital and have a scan.

I am told the heartbeat is very slow and that I may miscarry and to go back in 2 weeks. Her words aren’t really registering!

Those were the longest 2 weeks ever!!! All I could think about was that poor little thing inside me trying to live!

2 weeks later (Wednesday just gone) I go back and I am told there is no heartbeat and that I have miscarried.

I cry and then I am told my options;

1. Come back in 2 weeks and see if I have properly miscarried and all has come away

2. Take pills to bring on full miscarriage

3. Have op

I decided to go with the pills as I can’t bare to wait another 2 weeks and I really don’t want an op!

No one knows any of this apart from my partner - who I think deep down is happy that I have miscarried - he is 47 and has 3 kids from a past marriage and so he feels he has been there, done it and past it!

He isn’t really the most sensitive or understanding person either

So here I am going through this all on my own really.

No one apart from him knew I was pregnant.

No one apart from him knows I have miscarried.

No one knows what’s going on in my head.

I am in my own little world.

I cry at anything.

I feel a void.

I feel so very alone.

My hope of having something that was mine and for me has been cruelly taken away

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

I'm so so sorry my lovely for what you've gone through. I understand iv been there a few times hun. I'm really sorry you haven't any support. I think contacting the miscarriage association will be of a help to you hun. Maybe even mentioning to your Dr for councilling. It's the worst thing ever especially when it's the most wanted thing ever and a huge surprise. Please don't bottle it up it will eat away at you and potentially your relationship please just talk hun contact the miscarriage association and Dr and remember we're all here for you! Do you, have any close friends or family you could talk to. Sending you big gentle hugs my love.😘💝

[KelliMikkelson]

Wow. I read your post and got so excited for you. Then, the oh no for the slow heartbeat. And then tears came to my eyes for you when I read the no heartbeat. I can understand exactly why you feel the way you do. I’m sorry that your husband isn’t compassionate towards the baby that you both lost. I’m sorry that you have all of this hurt inside of you and no one else to talk to face to face. I am here for you online. You are in my thoughts.

[KEndo16]

Sorry to hear your experience. When you’re ready there are many professionals out there who can listen to you. It may not feel like it, but you are not alone. X

[Kenny75]

I am so sorry. How difficult for you. I can relate to the keeping things to yourself and your partner as now my friends have all produced offspring, I no longer feature in their lives.

I became upset about this at my pre-op session last week and the nurse gave me the. And and number of the gynae counsellor at th hospital. I haven’t called her yet as had my lap yesterday but am considering it soon as I still need to talk out my thoughts, fears and feelings about remaining childless or other avenues. Maybe contact your hospital or look online for the service.

I wish you well and send love xxx

[Missy_22]

I’m so sorry to read this. No words will comfort you right now. I hope this forum will help you and give you support. I have been through many miscarriages now all from 5-23 weeks and it’s dan hard. We are all here for you. Please take care xxx

[Shalom74]

Dearest MichyK,

I am weeping here. I am 44 next month, next week in face and I have no children. It hurts so much. I miscarried when I was 26, I needed some help back then regarding endo... I never caught again and I was too scared... also had no encouragement from my ex husband, I understand your pain there too.

I had sigend up for a hysterectomy recently and to have my one remaining ovary taken. I know I won't have children but thought that gradually getting to the menopause would give me time to get used to the idea. Facing hysterectomy sent make into a huge wave of grief in amongst concerns I have regarding having no ovary, but the pain of childlessness hit me like a ton of bricks. I am not having the hysterectomy, mostly for my mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. My faith is helping me through this and the support from my church family. I hope you have lots of love and support and I will keep you in prayer.

Love

Shalom x

[Rachael2727]

I’m sorry x