Succumbing to depression....: It's been 1... - Endometriosis UK

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Succumbing to depression....

Starry profile image
8 Replies

It's been 13 months since my diagnosis, I've gotten through a diagnostic lap, a sigmoidoscopy, a Mirena, a disastrous zoladex trial, a vomit laden picolax bowel prep, my excision and bowel shave, a week in hospital with viral meningitis, 3 agonising lumbar punctures a horrendous enema, and the post operative nerve pain.

Ive fought all the way through all of that and by and large kept focused on recovery. But now I've I developed GERD I am finally succumbing to depression. Im sick of the permanent chest pain, nausea, lost appetite, it hurting to eat, sleep deprivation and have finally lost my fight.

I keep welling up at the slightest thing and the tears leak. I just emotionally can't cope with yet another thing to deal with on top that just doesn't let up, just at the point where it was supposed to be getting better.

I'm exhausted and just want to lie down and it all be over. I can't take it any more

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Starry profile image
Starry
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8 Replies

((Big Hugs)) You are doing so well. you have over come such a lot of things that you have had to deal with all at once. Try not to be to hard on yourself. You are allowed to cry , feel tearful, shout and scream, laugh and do what ever emotion you feel at the time. we all get these waves of emotions. Do what ever your body is telling you to do at present. If you need to sleep, then sleep. if you need to rant . then post on here we will help you through this as you have helps us.

I hope this wave of depression will bring you out the other side soon. Hang on to that roller coaster of emotions and ride it out. you are stronger than you know and are a true warrior xx

VW17 profile image
VW17

It's natural to not feel happy after going through so much. Your body and mind are under alot of pressure. It will get better. Thinking of you x

ccsmith profile image
ccsmith

Your body is exhausted and so your mind is telling you. Try giving yourself time to accept and process what has happened. Go out for some gentle walks (I know it’s hard but I just went up the road and back) which really helped. I also went on a online counselling course through NHS which made such a difference. Big hugs and remember you have done sooo well xx

JackieBo profile image
JackieBo

Oh Starry! Sending great big virtual hugs!!!!

You have been through so much! It is only natural to feel depressed after such trauma to your body and soul. It's okay to succumb to these feelings sometimes. We need to let ourselves process what we're going through and that's perfectly okay!! ❤️

If you need to cry, have a good cry! Wail even! Get it all out; you'll feel better for it. The last thing we ought to do in moments like this is try and stuff our feelings down. Get it all out.

Is there anything new you could introduce to your routine while you recover? I am a big fan of adult colouring books. My favourite is Unicorns Are Jerks and Fat Ladies In Space: A Body Positive Colouring Book 😊 (I find all mine on Amazon for cheap.)

Or maybe you could indulge in a little classic 90's melodramatic diva music to ease your heartache? A well timed Fiona Apple album or, my teenage favourite, The Cranberries - you can cry and scream your feelings out while blasting No Need To Argue.

I know it sounds a bit silly, but I'm a big fan of music as therapy. Music can help us process feelings and then move on to better, less heavy feelings. (Just don't get stuck with Smashing Pumpkins on loop. I adore them, but don't get too caught up in the "melancholy sadness". 😉

Do you have a pet or friends that have a cuddly dog? Maybe make them bring you some furry cuddles?

Think outside the box, babe. Do something fun and refreshing that can be done from home, of course, to just help shake off the funk. You're STRONG and you will get through this. In the immortal words of Scarlett O'Hara, tomorrow is another day.

Thinking of you. ❤️

Stellauk profile image
Stellauk

Big hugs.

You have came so far and had successful operations to treat your endometriosis. It is so unfair now you have GERD. It is difficult to believe there is a light at the tunnel. However, I really think you are close to it. The main battle was won, just one more fight. You can do it!

How is the therapy going? Is it helping your mind?

Hope you will feel brighter soon. Xx

Fabbird profile image
Fabbird

So sorry to hear this. You've been through such a lot. It's natural to feel overwhelmed by it all.

I'm sure you will get through this. The GERD should pass, and your body is healing. It sounds like it will take a bit longer than hoped, but you'll get there.

Keep in touch.

Si_84 profile image
Si_84

Dear Starry I know this post is 3 weeks old hope by now you are feeling better. I've been so low today and suffer from depression with my endometriosis as well. I know the feeling about one thing after another but please don't give up you have definetly had a tough time by the sound of it and it will no doubt all pile up and get on top of you but you must persevere, let the tears out we all deserve a good cry but none of us can give up! When I get that burning chest feeling I take omeprazole and try cut back on the painkillers. I have to sleep sitting up as laying down starts it off at night. I've lost 9lbs this week from being in pain and the stress but i find eating little and often helps as big meals make me feel sick and I make an almond milk smoothie with banana peanut butter and chocolate protein or juice plus powder which is easy on the stomach and filling. I really hope you are feeling more positive sending you lots of love and best wishes. Stay strong x

Starry profile image
Starry

Thanks So X sorry you are suffering too. Ive been on lansaprazole for a month to no avail and go see a gastroenterologist consultant tomorrow to hopefully start getting some answers.

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