Partner of Endo sufferer: Hello all. My... - Endometriosis UK

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Partner of Endo sufferer

AMWatson profile image
6 Replies

Hello all. My girlfriend has endometriosis and has done for many years now. I want to support her and need help to find out how I can do this? I try my best to help and try to understand but feel that I am just making things worse. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

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AMWatson profile image
AMWatson
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6 Replies
Leaahmay profile image
Leaahmay

Hi, the best thing I can advise you is to just be there for her. It's very hard living with someone who has endo because it's such a closed illness that not many people know a lot about. Just show her your support and comfort her I'm sure she'll appreciate that. You're probably not making it worse, it's just how she will feel trying to get you to understand will be frustrating because it's hard to explain.

:)

AMWatson profile image
AMWatson in reply to Leaahmay

Thank you. Everything you have said is so very true and is exactly how it is. I do feel as if she does not talk as much about it anymore but I don't want to keep asking or wanting her to talk if she doesn't want to. Thank you for your comment it has helped :)

Danielle12309 profile image
Danielle12309

You won't be making things worse at all, especially how you have said you are there to support her. Although that might feel like you aren't doing anything, just by being there, but it Honestly is. Having somebody to talk to about it when you want to and not when you have too is so special and vital. Best advice I would give is to put painkillers dotted around the house & have a hot water bottle on standby. My partner does this so when I am in a lot of Pain he can just get some, rather than me explain which compartment of by bag they are in! Haha. :)

I hope this helps a bit

ThaliaThalia profile image
ThaliaThalia

I think it's wonderful that you're on here asking us this question.

Please read the Endometriosis Survivors' Letter. It conveys the frustration she'll feel.

endo-resolved.com/support-f...

Endometriosis makes one feel like a shadow of a woman. The pain is intense, and being chronic, there's no escape. Just hold her tenderly when she's sad or in pain. If you bring her hot water bottles, pain relief and drink/food in her most agonising / darkest moments, you'll be a hero. You could also ask her what she needs. I wish I'd had a supportive partner to help me through it. Good luck to you both. I wish your partner a speedy recovery.

As most other people of said just being there for support is the most important thing I don't think I would of coped if it wasn't for my husbands support and understanding 10years he's been there supporting me through 3 operations different drugs and tests to find another way to manage it waking him at silly o'clock because I've been in agony and needing to go to hospital for stronger pain relief and also being patient and understanding when my sex drive has been low or if I've been in pain during intercourse I know it sounds like a lot and in some ways it is but understanding the condition and the effects it has your partner helps aswell as just being there. xx

Niamhoconnell profile image
Niamhoconnell

It's really lovely in the first place that you've done this! My partner does find it hard sometimes due to all of the hormones and just seeing me in pain. Ask her what she needs, she may need a cuddle, or to cry or just be left alone. But at the same time don't take it heart if she's rude or says something she won't mean. It's very hard for us because it really does take over your whole lives and being in chronic pain is terrible! Xx

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