At the end of my tether

20 years ago I had Zolodex injections for over two years to treat breast cancer. Ever since the treatment started I experienced stomach pains and gradually over the years my stomach problems have increased, and now they have spiralled out of control. I just cant seem to keep any food it for very long at all no matter what I eat, even trying soluble fibre and eating my meals by blender is not helping. The doctors have not helped and even though I have told them I feel like killing myself they just tell me to live with it. The last time I went they wanted to give me mint capsules and drugs for depression!

After reading the posts on this site it explains all of my mood swings, depression, and dark thoughts, and makes me not feel so alone. But has anyone suffered with these type of stomach problems from long term use of Zolodex too?

It is so bad now that I have had to give up full time work and have to struggle working from home part time.

Many days, including today, I just don't want to carry on, and I'm taking it out on my husband who does not deserve it and I can't seem to help myself from saying the awful things I say.

They say you should be greatful you are alive, but I'm not alive I'm just existing and if I knew life would be like this I wouldn't have wanted it.

4 Replies

  • I am really sorry to hear that, nowhereelse.

    I have felt like not worth continuing like this, too.

    I am on Decapeptyl for 1 year and 4 months. Not sure if the injection is causing feeling sick, I think in my case, endometeriosis is causing nause.

    It is very haerd to keep going like this, I am just about in full time job, I've requested my managers to reduce my hour but they don't believe I am ill!

    Are you waiting for a surgery? I am so trying to hopeful that I will get better after the surgery.

    It is true that when we can be appriciative for what we have, we can be happier.

    But it is very difficult to think that way when our health is compromised.

  • Hi AkiBoo,

    Thank you, I'm very sorry to hear you are struggling too.

    I have had the same problem with past employers who don't believe me, one employer just promoted me and then said they had to let me go - just as I was having problems again and was getting a scan because they thought my cancer was back in my stomach! It was very cruel and hard to get over. Many employers unfortunately don't understand, I think they have to have been in a similar situation themselves, or know someone close to them who has, before they can begin to.

    My present employers, however, have been fantastic and set me up working from home part time. Every day is still a challenge though, and as I have always been full time before I'm struggling with the pay drop.

    Push for the reduced time though it does help you to manage.

    Unfortunately, no I have not been offered surgery, all the doctors want to do is give me anti depressants. They don't help at all and just make me dozey and out of I,t so I weaned myself off them. I wouldn't be depressed if they sorted out the problem.

    Life can be hard, I really hope for your sake things improve after your surgery, and that work come to their senses and let you reduce your hours rather than lose you.

    Take care and come back if you want to chat if it helps.

  • Thanks very much, nowhereelse!

    I am sorry to hear that your past employer was not understanding at all!

    It is though nice to know that some emploer cen be flexible, like your current one.

    I thought about working from home, which will be more helpful. But I cannot imagine my managers will agree with it. I can mention it to them, at least.

    Do you want to have a surgery? Are you under a consultant? Unfortunately, we need to push what we want to our GP. I believe giving unti depressent isn't the answer for the most of depression. As you say, the root cause need to be sorted.

    I hope you can be treated in the way you prefer.

    Thank you, I really need this surgery in the hope to get better.


  • Hi AkiBoo,

    Good luck with asking your employer about working from home, fingers crossed for you. I was really lucky as I handed my notice in as I just couldn't manage anymore and they offered to set me up from home instead!

    I would do whatever it takes to get well again, but I have been going to the doctors for years now and they just tell me to live with it and give me anti depressants, and suggest vitamins to replace the goodness I cant retain. I have given up now as I have been to so many, and get on with feeling so weak all the time.

    I really hope you get your operation and get better very soon.

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