Surrogacy, need help

Hi everyone! My name is Cleo, I'm 27. I'm looking for a clinic where surrogacy can be done. Really need some advice! Reading reviews on different forums didn't help. On the contrary now I have a great fear of scammers. Seriously, there are so many fake agencies! Don't wanna give them all money and leave with nothing. Furthermore as we are planning to have a baby I want to find clinic with normal price and save some money for a child. The reason my husband and I decided to turn to surrogacy is very tragic and it's hard for me to speak about that. But I just feel like I need to talk to someone, because it's tearing me from inside. My dh and I got married when we were 23. Everything was perfect like in a dream! We've got pregnant and were waiting for birth of our baby. We were looking at children clothes and thinking about name for our baby. We didn't know gender of our child, but I felt it will be a girl. We were talking to her all the time and telling her fairy tails every night. We were so happy and we even bought a bigger house for bigger family. But our dream lasted not for long. At that day we were going for planned ultrasound by car. Suddenly I felt a great push. I don't remember what was after that. I didn't even realized what happened. I woke up in the hospital. My doctor told me that because of great impact placental abruption occured. I lost my girl. We still can't recover from shock. And I think we'll never be able to do that. But we decided that it's time for us to keep on living, but not existing. Girls, maybe you can advice some clinics? Maybe you experienced surrogacy by yourself? Thanks for your attention.

11 Replies

oldestnewest
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how painful it feels. It's nice you decided to move on. I will tell you about my surrogacy process, maybe it will help you. I also faced the problem of infertility. My husband and I have got married when we were 26 (now we are 40). We decided to set aside kids issue for a couple of years and to take up our careers. But unpredictable happened. I started to feel pain in the abdomen. I’ve lost 17 pounds for very short period of time. I felt exhausted and I was getting tired very fast. One night I woke up because of sharp pain in abdomen and it was hurt unbearable. I was diagnosed with cancer of the uterus, after which the uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries were removed. It was critical period for our family. My husband wanted a son very much, but I knew that I couldn't fulfill his wish. I was afraid that my husband will leave me for another woman, who will be able to bear a child for him. And I began to look for solutions. I wanted to do everything to save us from split. After a long search, conversations with friends, reading of articles and reviews in the Internet, we decided to focus on surrogacy. But in our country it is, unfortunately, very expensive and we couldn't afford it. So we began to look for clinics in other countries. We wanted to find the best doctors and, at the same time, affordable price. It turned out that this procedure is legal in Ukraine and there are a lot of clinics. So we took this chance. Now we have a wonderful healthy boy! My husband and I are very happy and grateful. If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! It's better to talk with someone, who went through this, who knows everything for sure. I hope my story will help your family! I wish you good luck and I hope your dream of having a baby will come true!

  • I appreciate your support and help! I’m glad for you and your family. I hope we'll also find our happiness soon. Could you please tell more details about clinics in Ukraine? What were the main criteria in your search? Did you consider clinics in Russia? I know that surrogacy is legal there too and they have normal prices. We want to find clinic, which will help us with the whole process. Because we’ve never been abroad for such reasons and we don’t really know, if we can find the right way to clinic and hotel. It’s very easy for foreigners to loose in absolutely strange city! Especially with a language barrier.

  • There are really many clinics in Ukraine and Russia. But there are a lot of cheaters among them. Be careful and pay attention to every single detail during your search. We’ve found a lot of good reviews about our clinic in the Internet. It's called BioTexCom. Also my colleague at work told me, that her friends visited clinic in Ukraine a couple of years ago. They found sm for them fast and she carried a baby for them. So I asked her to give me their phone number to talk with them directly. They told me about BioTexCom clinic. They were very satisfied with the process and the result. So after our conversation my husband and I contacted manager of the clinic by mail. We thought that it will take long to get the response. But in a couple of days we received a letter from the clinic with the questions to clarify the required info about my medical history. Also they needed our marriage certificate. After they got all required info we appointed date of our meeting with the doctor. Our main criteria were affordable price and high success rates. We considered Russia, but the fact, that they have a law, which says that surrogate mother is an actual mother, put us on guard. Who wants a stranger to take your baby away from you? Also there was an incident, when surrogate mother left child to herself and blackmailed couple, it was in the news. That’s why we decided to concentrate on Ukraine and we never regret. I liked that they have packages, which include all necessary services. So you pay single price and no more. The service was good enough. We were met at the airport by taxi driver. Also we were provided with accommodation and transportation. By the way clinic covers food supply. The clinic also provided us with English speaking manager. All these were included into our package. We didn't have to pay extra money. They have a website, where you can find all prices and terms.

  • I’ve never heard about this law, which Russian legislation has. It’s ridiculous, that surrogate mother can leave your child if she wants too. Especially considering the fact this baby does not relate to her genetically! And even court can do nothing about it so you’ll never win the case. Actions of surrogate mother is legal and you should live your life knowing some other couple is raising your child. It’s so unfair! I didn't know that clinics provide such services. They found all conveniences for you so the only thing you should concentrate on is surrogacy procedure. Sounds very nice! May I ask how much did you pay? Did you pay all sum at once? I'm not sure we'll have the whole amount to give right away. We are working hard. My husband have 2 jobs and works on weekends. I know maybe we should wait more and save some money. I understand that our child will need even more spendings. But we really need this procedure now. We've been waiting for so long! We both feel it's time to do some action! I'm ready to work 24/7 just to save needed sum and make our dream come true! Also our parents promised to help after childbirth. So the only thing we should do is collect needed sum of money! How long did it take for them to find surrogate mother for you? I know that sometimes search of surrogate mother can take half of the year and more. I've read about couple from UK. They had been waiting for surrogate mother more than a year! I'm ready to wait actually. I understand that clinics can't just snap their fingers and give us surrogate mother. But I just can't wait anymore and want process to begin asap) Is there a possibility to choose surrogate mother by yourself? And did she live with you? Was it hard to arrange her moving to your country? I think it's hard to live so far away from your baby…Even if it isn't born yet.

  • Honey I know exactly what you feel! It was hard for us to save money too. When you get salary you need so much to buy. Taxes are also not cheap. Still it's great chance that we can go to clinic abroad and pay $40 000 but not $150 000. I think if there was no clinic with such price, I would stay childless and die from sadness. Prices in US are prohibitive for us. Speaking about cost of our package. The payment was divided into 5 rates. We paid €8000 during the first visit. Then we paid €7900 during our second visit. Third payment €8000 was paid on twelve weeks of the gestation of the surrogate mother. €8000 we paid after the birth of the child. And the last 5th payment €8000 we paid after receiving of the child’s birth certificate and passport for a child to leave the country. Speaking about our SM. The clinic found her for us in 2 months after signing the contract. We didn't expect it will be so fast! I can't tell in words how happy were we receiving such great news! Clients cannot choose a surrogate mother. Her appearance is not important here. Only her health and ability to bear a child matter. That's why the doctor choose SM by himself. But don't worry, the clinic selects SM very carefully. Our program coordinator provided us with all info about SM and our son at least once per month. As for our SM's place of living during the program. Our SM lived with her family. All of surrogate mothers have their own kids. It would be cruel to take them away from their families. I think it is better for them to live in familiar environment. In such way they feel themselves comfortable and don't worry about their loved ones. The fewer their worries are, the better for our child.

  • Thanks for so detailed answer! You have the point here. Even if I work 24/7 without weekends for my whole life, I don't know if I could pay $150 000. Yes, there is posibility to take a loan. But what to do after this? I want to be able to give my child future. But taking such loan I just take the future away from my baby. I want to give everything and even more to my child. So it's really a very good chance for us. I like that we can pay in parts. There will be some more time to collect money. You don't have to give everything and then have empty pockets. We are also humans so we'll nedd some money for living) I'm greatly surprised they found surrogate mother for you for such short period! I understand that it may take longer. But it won't take more then a year. So I'm ready to wait a couple of months. I agree that surrogate mothers should live with their relatives. It's hard to be so far away from your baby during almost a year. But we should also think about those women, who help us to become mothers. They care about our baby, they carry it for us. They make a huge action! So we should consider their needs and feelings too. They will nervous less being surrounded by own families. Was there problems with documents for your baby? I have no clue how to make all this in Ukraine. We'll need documents for child to leave country. But what to do and where to go? How to make everything right? I'm scared that we can make a mistake without knowing all details of the process. I don't want someone to take my baby away. And it will be my fault! Maybe I exaggerate situation… But it would be nice if you tell me how it's better to prepare documents)

  • You're welcome honey! If I can help somehow I'll do it with pleasure) Speaking about documents you have nothing to worry about. We had no troubles at all! The clinic provided us with help to prepare all documents. I also had no idea where to go and how to organize everything right. They provided us with assistance in the Ukrainian civil registry office. We've got the child’s birth certificate there. And of course they helped us in getting a travel pass for our son.

  • What a relief! I was nervous we won't be able to make all documents' work correctly. We don't know how all this system is established in Ukraine. One mistake and everything will go wrong. I don't want to face problems in the beginning of parenting. Nobody wants! You've calmed me down! It's great news that clinic provides all this help. Thank you so much for your support! I will consider all information and each advice you gave me! Today we'll have decisive talk with my husband and take our final decision!

  • hi, nice to meet you. i may contribute to positive reviews about biotexcom kiev. our sweet baby boys were born by a 25 yo surrogate provided by this clinic. we didn't even expected for bfp from the very first try. now our boys are almost a year, absolutely healthy. through hardships to stars. good luck to everyone ttc

  • Your story made me cry. Though I'm a man, but your words touched me deeply. I think your little daughter watches you from the heaven and she would love to see her mommy and daddy to be happy! You spent 4 years in pain. I think that's very long time, you suffered a lot. You'll never forget your little girl, you'll always remember her. I don't know if it's really possible to leave such pain... But you deserve to have a happy family and live in happiness. Everyone has their own pain and they try their best to cope with it. My wife and I can't have children and it's our pain... In any way I'm not comparing, don't take me wrong. I just want to tell you that there are things in our lives that we can't control. We should live with this and try our best to survive. Fortunately there is a chance for us and we're gonna to use surrogacy. I hope there is chance for you to start living and stop blaming yourself. I wish you all the best, hope you'll be happy!

  • Hi Cleo! How is your surrogacy going? I know how it's hard to find good clinic. I've also started the procedure already. We chose Ukrainian clinic. For me it's hard to judge now, but positive experience of girls of this forum make me believe in positive result. I hope to hear good news from you soon! Keep us updated! I wish both of us all the best with our surrogacy journeys!

You may also like...