What does a bimanual feel like? Can I refuse it?

I am seeing the gyno tomorrow but I am terrified. I am 15, virgin, have never inserted anything into me (yes, even tampons) and know the gyno will most likely do a pelvic exam where she inserts 2 fingers to check for abnormalities. I know that 'its a fact of life' but this is the one thing I dread. Trust me, I have done more tests than I can count and have gotten over the initial fear but this is different. I have never been abused but thanks to the media and stories I am absolutely terrified of being assaulted myself. I fear sex, I fear masturbation and I certainly fear doctors having to go down there. I have tried to insert things to prepare myself for the appointment before but it is so painful and I can not go anywhere. Once my GP thought I had thrush so prescribed me thrush cream which involves having to insert an applicator into you and that was a nightmare. I thought that I didn't even have a vagina because I could physically not make the applicator enter, I read that it may be because of my hymen so that only scared me more about the appointment knowing pain will be involved. I have already had an ultrasound to check for ovarian cysts so is this really necessary? I have had panic attacks for months over this dreaded appointment and honestly know that I will most likely run out the room the moment I see the exam chair/bed. My mum has tried everything to calm my nerves but there just is no point I am literally freaking out over this.

9 Replies

  • Hi , they are very unlikely to do this as you are a virgin so please don't worry. They will not do anything you aren't happy with but if they try you can refuse. They will more than likely arrange an mri scan instead. Please do not worry over this. Hope it goes well . Please let me know how you get on.

  • I completely agree with Jean. You do not need to agree to any tests or examinations that you are not happy with, you can simply say no. I hope your appointment goes well, try not to worry but if you are anxious please mention to the doctor and I'm sure they will understand X

  • Thankyou so very much, she did not perform the exam thankfully. (Months of panic attacks for no reason). But I am disappointed about the outcome of the appoitment. My mum thinks she did a good job but I feel as if she dosent really understand just how much pain I'm in. She told me they won't perform a laparoscopy on me because I'm 15. Prescribed me suppositories and a different type of birth control. It's a shame because I really do believe I have endo and now I can't have any way of confirming that or not. 

  • Hi sweetie search on here for a lady called Lindle and have a look at her posts. You can also pm her if you need help. 

     I believe your gynaecologist is wrong about they don't perform laps at your age. This is the only way to diagnose endo. The longer it is left the worse it will be. 

    Please don't give up get as many different opinions as you need to get the answer for why you're in pain.

  • Try not to worry (easier said than done), the more you can relax and not tense your body the easier it makes everything. Tell the DR how you feel about it all, even the things you think may sound silly. They are there to listen as well as help with the physical side. You never have to do anything you're not comfortable with and the medical staff respect that. You can also have a third party in the room with you, your mum or a nurse or if there is someone else you want there. I hope everything goes ok for you. X

  • Thankyou xxx

  • Hi there, I agree with the other ladies. You can say no to any tests that you're feeling uncomfortable with. Just explain to the gyno how you feel and maybe he will do a MRI scan on you instead. However, if you do go ahead with the examination try to relax your body. I'm always tensed when it comes to examination like you I'm scared too although I'm 40years old and have had 3 children when it comes to tests I'm a big baby and have loads of panic attacks just before the tests, but as soon as it's over I'm fine thinking that wasn't so bad.

    Good luck, hope everything goes well for you.


  • Thankyou so much xx

  • Thankyou all so so so much it means a lot. After I told her I'm a virgin and don't use tampons I think she decided not to. She hadn't suggested it in the first place but towards after looking at my symptoms I believe she might have started to consider it. Not too happy with the outcome of the appoitment either. It's been a long day. 

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