Psychosexual therapy?

[h4hell]

I have severe endometriosis and am starting ivf as am infertile. Sex is painfull and has been all along. This is putting a strain on my relationship as i do not even want physical contact and affection incase it leads to sex and pain. I have not been offered psychosexual therapy but aparently this is something that you can be referred for by your gp. Anybody else experienced this?

[xnanookx]

I've not heard of psychosexual therapy, I'd be interested in a bit more information, I'm in the same boat, sometimes I just need a cuddle I don't want to give him the wrong idea I'm so lucky he's understanding about it, I try to include him in the appointments for everything its important they know what's happening (if I'm honest I feel like I have to have him there listening so he doesn't get the wrong idea) xx

[confusedandworried]

If the pain is psychological then sexual therapy may help but if there is a physical cause for the pain, which can be the case with endo, then that problem needs to be addressed. You mention you have severe endo. Have you had excision surgery with a skilled endo specialist rather than a general gynaecologist to remove the endo? If so & pain still persists it may be worth asking for a referral to a physiotherapist who specialises in pelvic pain. Unfortunately it is possible that muscles are tense as a result of ongoing pain experienced with conditions such as endo & a physiotherapist can help in this regard. I hope this helps, best wishes

[Wwithendo]

I told my husband I've been avoiding physical contact because I'm worried it will lead to sex and it is painful for me too. I had a laparoscopy last September to remove a lot of Endo but the mental part of that has been a serious issue for me. He said he won't expect me to have sex if I'm uncomfortable, but I wish we could have that intimacy back again. This disease has ruined my life physically and mentally. I'm surprised he's still with me. We had to conceive through IVF after two years of failed attempts. I just want my menopause to start now so I get my life back. I'm now 47

[hayleys900]

I feel your pain. I am in exactly the same boat, I am so worried as sex is so painful I couldn't walk for two days was just crying fro the intense pain. My husband is very understanding but I feel it will eventually be an issue. As hospital keep pushing my surgery back, I don't know how long until I may even feel vaguely normal again rather than 24/7 pain.

[xnanookx]

I saw an endo specialist on Monday, I go back in June to meet the other 2 surgeons who will help him with my surgery I have localised endo in the rectum bowel pouch of Douglas full obliteration and I get massive endometriomas for which I had a lap in Oct

Ww, I hear you hun, that's exactly how I feel. I think we're the lucky ones to have these men who try to understand, they say all of the right things but I'm sure just like me you nod and agree when they say it and ur mind goes to dark places, the darkest places, its like a vicious circle the endo being the start and finish it kills the intimacy then the doubts creep in and as a direct result its like we're feeding the endo making it stronger more in control of my own body than I am. Its so unfair and I often ponder on what I did in a past life to deserve this, the truth is though, the big man upstairs only gives you what you can cope with and still win, we just have to keep the faith and find the light at the end of the tunnel xx

[Eiddam]

Hello there, I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a horrid time of it. I'm in a similar situation regarding the physical contact/affection of fear of where it may lead... I feel as though my relationship is suffering too! I've been doing some research into psychosexual therapy and am going to look into making an appt privately, if I cannot get a referal from the gp. If  I do go for it and find it's helpful, I can keep you updated? Wishing you the best of luck with ivf & sending positive and healing thoughts xx