Can't take anymore 😢

I really need to rant somewhere that people might understand.

My endo is ruining my life, first of all like most of us all I feel like I ever do is beg and chase up doctors for help. After a long journey to diagnosis. I had a laparascopy on 1st of June last year. After lots of arguin with a crap doctor, I managed to get referred to a specialist centre where I thought my journey to get help had ended. I met my consultant who told me the extent of my endo following MRI ( bowel stuck to womb, nodules etc etc) and he told me no more waiting, he gave me his email address and i was told to think about surgery and then email him which I did. Well, no reply from him and again I had to start trying to chase things up. I managed to speak to him a few weeks later and he assured me he would get my surgery sorted out asap. My hopes were yet again raised but guess what......the surgery still hasn't even been booked three weeks later.

My relationship with my partner is rocky and I no longer feel like I want to socialise with anyone. No one understands and I'm alone, alone in this shit with pain everyday. Panic and anxiety are out of control and I just feel useless, I'm never happy and feel insecure about myself to the point I'm scared I'm going to lose my partner. I just can't see an end to this. I feel like I have to prove how bad things are all the time to everyone and when they don't understand I get angry which makes me a crap person to be around. I have no money as I can't work and can't claim anything because of my partners earnings so I'm living relying on him which doesn't always work out so well.

I feel so tired and ill everyday which makes me panic. I just give up!!!! X

4 Replies

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  • hi Amber i don't suffer what you do for many reasons, but if you want to rant and rave please you can come to me any time, i may not be able easy the pain but i'm a good listener if needed take care and remember your not a lone we all need someone to help us. take care speak to you later Alan xx

  • Sounds like a vicious circle. Fed up cos your ill and on top of that stuck inside. But couldn't work if wanted cos of illness.

    keep chasing surgery to the point of badgering him so he is fully aware of situation. Tell him your life is on holdfb until surgery and it's affecting home life and relationship.

    can you book a weekend away in a cosy lodge/cabin/hotel and have sometime away from home and quality time with partner?

    If pain is daily try endo diet and see go ask for Co Co demolition. They work for me to be able go work.

    Could try a little cleaning job few hours a day so you can get out then gradually feel better.

    It's a complete juggling act having endo and a life. Let alone a job.

    hope my reply helped.

    stay strong. Hugs xxxx

  • Thank you for ur reply. It is Defo a viscous circle that I can't get out of.

    I spoke to hospital today and my booking form for surgery has finally been received which made me smile but was then told it will be at least 22 weeks before surgery!!!

    My current job I can do short shifts but one week a month I'm semi okay and the rest I'm in real bad pain and feel exhausted. I really want to make the best of a bad situation but it feels which ever way I turn, a wall gets out there 😞

  • I was at the end of my tether like you. Then took 6 weeks out of work , eat healthy , rested and stayed positive (through gritted teeth lol )

    Turns out I was stressing myself out and exhausted.

    I feel better now and manage pain daily with diet and paracetamol . It's a fight but have to fight daily to get through it.

    22 weeks is max , to cover themselves, you could have a cancellation.

    Be kind to yourself hun it's hard enough without stressing yourself out xxx

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