Painful sex

Hi guys,

First of all sorry in advance for too much information!

I had my 2nd lap 3 weeks ago for removal of endometriosis, haven't had my post op yet but as far as I'm aware it all went pretty well!

I'm hoping for some advice really, one of my worst symptoms is excruciating pain during sex which has resulted In this not being possible for the last year (luckily I have an understanding husband!) I'm just wondering how long people wait after laparoscopy before having sex and also any suggestions on getting my libido back?!

Thanks in advance!

Jamie X

4 Replies

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  • When they finally operated on me, they found there was a HUGE nodule in the pouch of douglas area (the area between the rectum and vagina) as well as my right ovary and appendix being encased in a large chocolate cyst. Every time we had sex, I would scream and boyfriends - several over the years - always thought they were doing something wrong. Sometimes, I even just bit my lip to avoid the problem.

    However, when they removed both the nodule and cyst, wey-hey, everything went back to normal and sex was fantastic. I think the libido may be affected by your fear (and occurrence) of pain so you associate sex with pain and therefore cannot enjoy it. I also saw something recently on 'Embarrassing Bodies' where this lady thought she may have endometriosis but in fact they found her uterus was not almost entirely upside down so whenever her partner penetrated he was hitting her uterine wall at the top. They operated and she was fine with her sex life back to normal too.

  • Hi - three weeks is still very early days in terms of recovery depending on the extent of what was done. As this was a second lap it is likely that endo was missed the first time. If both these laps have been done in general gynaecology you probably had the endo ablated (heat treated) rather than removed (excised). A lap can only visualise what is within the peritoneum - the abdominal lining - and some areas such as the Pouch of Douglas can look normal when there can be deep endo hidden. There can also be endo outside the peritoneum that can't be located through a lap. The endo in these places is often 'nodular'and usually gives pain on sex and often causes a retroverted uterus that adds to the pain. There can be other causes too but if you do find that your symptoms persist you will need referral to a specialist centre for more thorough investigations. Click on my name and look at my post on rectovaginal endo and on how to find a specialist centre if you do find you have the same problem after a couple on months or so.

  • I would leave it a few more weeks, I think it's fine now, but the longer you give yourself to recover the more chance of it not hurting through the operation itself, only if you have sex now and it hurts the first time, your mind will still associate pain with sex, your labido will come back gradually, once you discover that it dosnt hurt any more,

    Good luckxx

  • Thanks everyone you've been really helpful!

    After my first lap they had lost my notes when I went for my post op so I have no idea what they did (very angry!).

    This time I was seen privately by a specialist who is wonderful! He only cuts the tissue away, he won't burn it and they biopsy it too. I spoke to him after my surgery and he told me he had removed it from both sides at the back of my uterus and down the middle! I was still a bit out of it do looking forward to my post op in a couple of weeks for a good chat!

    Thanks again for all your help ladies! Xx

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