Does anyone else feel forced into having children earlier?

Hello everyone!

I was diagnosed with endometriosis in June 2014. I had a laparoscopy and initially the pain and symptoms subsided after they removed as much as Endo as they could but about 8 months later the pain returned.

I'm 21 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He's 30 years old. We've been living together for 2 years.

I really really want children. To the point that I've become almost obsessed with it. I've found that doctors won't give any definitive answers and whenever I ask about fertility they just say that they can't be certain how effected I am. I am prone to ovarian cysts and this could also effect my ability to conceive.

I know I'm young, but I have a deep rooted fear that I won't be able to have children if I wait for a few years.

Does anyone else feel like they're almost being forced into facing motherhood earlier than they expected because of endo?

My boyfriend has told me he isn't 100% ready yet, but he's come to realise that it's something that I feel ridiculously strong about. I burst into tears when people ask me about having children because I feel like I shouldn't be facing the possibility of fertility issues a my age.

Is it better to have a child "too early" than never have one at all? :(

2 Replies

  • Hey,

    I am in the same position as you almost, I haven't quite had a definitive diagnosis as yet. I am 22 and bf is 30.

    I have a good job that I enjoy and could go really far in but I am desperate to have children now so that I definitely do have a family and dont run the risk of not having children at all. My gyne has put me on the pill none stop for 6 months to prove the pain is nothing to do with my bowels etc, the thought of having to take a pill that stops the very thing I want more than anything everyday for the next 6 months is a killer!

  • Hello, as I have expressed in many other similar posts, I am almost grateful I wasn't diagnosed until I was 31 as being told what I was (albeit my age is also a factor) even at that age made me panic slightly and almost accept I may never be able to have children. I believe my life would be very different had I been diagnosed in my late teens or early twenties. When I was diagnosed, I was engaged and we had always said we wanted to be married before we had children, I also had a lot to get my head around but my now husband even discussed adoption if I couldn't because like everyone, until you try, not even the best specialists in the world can give you a definitive answer.

    I chose to go on hormone treatment (provera) for 6 months to supress my periods following surgery to try to prevent endo coming back as quickly. I am stage 4 but fortunately my reproductive organs were not affected. You need to discuss where your endo is to give you a better idea. I successfully conceived within 3 months of stopping provera, I did miscarry at 12 weeks but 3 months later, I conceived again and am currently 25 weeks pregnant (I'm 33). I am one of the 'lucky' ones that hasn't had their fertility robbed by endo but know the fears and anxiety that is felt when you leave that gynaes office. I hope this can offer you some hope but do discuss all your options with family, drs and especially your partner. xx

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