Relationships with endo

Apologies for the long post but I have to get this off my chest! I got diagnosed with pcos at 17 and endo through a lap at 19. I came off my tablets last week as I'm going into hospital on Saturday for a small procedure and since then I've been so emotional I feel myself get angry and then I cry for like hours and I'm getting so annoyed with myself like I can't just stay calm I don't know but tonight i was with a guy and it got somewhere serious and I had to tell him I was going home i was petrified like how is anyone ever going to be in a relationship with me when I can't have sex it's just never ever going to work I know there's more to relationships than sex but I mean it's a pretty big part of it, like I could see how frightened my ex boyfriend was to hurt me so I used to pretend it didn't when I felt like I was being cut with a kitchen knife it's not the same pain as losing your virginity it's like someone is stabbing you, how could i do that to someone else? and I don't know why I'm saying all of this I just had to rant and I don't know who to rant to! I don't know why but I can't stop thinking of everything and to be honest I just feel like rubbish and I know I'm being selfish aswell.


14 Replies

  • Iy sounds natural I would say learn to cope with the endo first and follow through with this procedure before you put any relationship in the mix otherwise it won't work

  • Hi, I'm really sorry your suffering! I bleed when I have sex and when I first met my partner I was terrified for our first time in case I bled and he ran a mile. In fact I didn't and since then I've bled and he's been absolutely fine, he's been terrified to touch me when it's been at its worse, but we've tried to make the effort to do more romantic things, like baths together, meals and trying to keep the intermacy! I think you should concentrate on yourself, but if you do meet someone just be honest with them, you'll soon see if they're the right person if they're still happy to stay with you!

    I hope your ok and feel better! Xxxx

  • Thank you means a lot to have all of your support. You're right I should concentrate on myself and the situation for a bit first!

  • Hi - I had a look through your previous posts and it seems clear that your endo hasn't been treated effectively. What area of the UK are you in as the options vary depending on where you live?

  • I am in Edinburgh

  • Hi - unfortunately in Scotland you don't have access to NHS Choices like we do in England which means we can see a specialist of our choice. You have to rely on a GP referring you and the centres are in demand. But there are two endo centres in Scotland, one in Edinburgh, and with suspected rectovaginal endo you need a referral there. So you need to convince your GP that you have all the symptoms of deep endo that is likely to have been missed in general gynaecology. The centres have to accept all stages of endo and the guidelines that underpin NHS treatment anywhere in the UK confirm that rectovaginal endo must be dealt with in a centre. So it is a case of convincing your GP that you have the symptoms. This will need to be done through letters that will be placed on your records. I'll get back by private message to see how it can be done. x

  • I really feel for you. Dont worry about having a rant, sometimes you just need to get it out to make sure you can do something about it.

    Be honest to a person if you are building up a relationship with someone. If they dont understand or dont want to then this is not the right person. You are as important as the other person and you both need to enjoy a special time, not only the significant other. You are not selfish, you need to think about yourself!

    If you just came off your tablets your hormones will be all over the place, anger, sadness, are a normal reaction and just let it come and let it go.

    Try yoga exercises, this can help with focus on breathing and do gentle exercises.

    Look after yourself


  • Thank you! I will try and do the exercises, I think you're right my hormones are a bit all over the place just now. Thanks for your support!

  • No problem, i hope you will feel better soon!!


  • Hi,

    I am in the same situation as you are. My fiancee was keeping distance of me because I use to bleed all the time, in my case I was close to a laparascopy, and the bleeding did not stop until I had that. My pain was not as yours but it was there, sometimes after intercourse as well. As was already said, firstly you need to get used to your endo, start with your emotional situation first. Don't stop yourself from crying, it will only make you feel worse, or silly just as you said. Cry a little, take a shower/bath, ease up the nerves , and after try to have an activity which helps you relax. I usually listen to music, play a game or watch a movie to fall asleep. I had a good doctor which helped me go through all this situations, and a good nurse and we keep in touch in between my follow ups with the gyno. If you ever need a second opinion I can give you his details as well.

    You are in a sensitive situation, your future boyfriend will have to understand that you are in a situation were you can't have an exact normal relationship. Yes some of them are pretty scare and they will run, but other's will stay, and you will have to teach them how to make it work. Don't pretend and although it sound asking a lot, when in comes to the intimacy part bee as patient as you can, he can't learn overnight everything.

    We are all here to support each other. Look forward to hear from your saturday's procedure.

    Keep well,


  • Thank you for your support and kind words, I honestly don't know what I'd do without this page sometimes!

  • Anytime :)

  • Hi! I completely empathize with you! I was diagnosed with endo in 2005 after a lap. I have since then under gone medically induced menapause through Lupron 3 times. I will NEVER allow my body, physically, emotionally, mentally to be put through that hell ever again. It is time for another lap, and I am so tired of always being bloated. Sometimes, I swell so severely than I look like I'm 7 months pregnant. My fiancé doesn't understand how painful sex is and it is really affecting our relationship! I'm sorry for every thing you are going through.

  • It's such a hard situation and I suppose everybody feels alone in it even though there are thousands of women going through the same thing! My doctor wants me to try the medically induced menopause next but to be honest I am going to say no. I've heard too many horror stories about it 😔 I hope things with your fiancé get better, maybe talk to him about how you feel so that he understands a bit more, I'm sorry for what you're going through as well!

You may also like...