I'm scared

I was diagnosed 2 years ago during a laparoscopy. After 7 years of pain, now the pain has started coming back.

When I was diagnosed I had a lot going on, nothing was explained to me and so i just thought, i'm better now but my stitches are killing, be bothered going for that checkup appointment, a couple months ago i saw a show were a girl mentioned she had endo, I immediately recognized the name, so I googled it to find out what i actually had wrong with me. My heart broke, I'm 21 and now i'm worried about infertility, I always found it weird that no matter how many times me and my boyfriend had unprotected sex (both sti free!!!) i had never even gotten pregnant or had a scare :'( now i'm single (not because of endo) alone and struggling to cope, I'm not close to my family, especially my mum and my best friend is a guy, I feel like a freak :'( I'm scared, I'm scared that a hysterectomy could be an option for me at one point and i'm 21! I'm just feeling really low and scared, I feel alone and terrified :'( All my mates are getting married and having kids and i'm not ready for that anyway, but i still want the option and I know that i'm not guaranteed 100% infertile, but with my track record I'm not doubting it, I don't want to do IVF or whatever, I don't even know what it fecking is because i'm 21!!! I just feel so alone and trapped :'(

I just want help and my doctor is fecking clueless on the matter and i'm transferring to a closer hospital which i'll book an appointment at asap with the gyno but in the meantime i feel like i'm going crazy and i'm all alone :'( I don't know what to do, I have no one :'( i just want some advise i guess :'(

2 Replies

  • Hi, sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Try to keep positive as just because you have Endo does not mean you are infertile, its just a little/lot harder for us.

    I find that feeling low goes hand in hand with Endo, probably because our hormones are up the spout!

    I've been doing a lot of reading up on the illness and there are so many things that they can do including laser, hormone replacement etc Really a hysterectomy is the final option and normally offered to women that have had a family.

    From what I've read 'Oestrogen' aggrevates the condition and you will be surprised to hear that there is Oestrogen stimulants in foods and chemincals all around us.

    I myself am trying to cut as many of them out of my diet as possible and these include Sugar, Wheat, Dairy etc. Also your body doesn't necesserilly absort certain nutriants as well either, so I have started taking: Well Woman Vitamins & Mineralls, Omega 3,6 & 9, Probiotic 20 million and Milk Thistle.

    All worth a try as noticed I was getting outbreaks of spots, thin nails and lots of joint pains too.

    At 21 all your friends will seem to be getting into longer term relationships and starting their careers. Your time will come to.

    I think everything happened for me when I was around 23 years old. I have watched my friends get married and some divorced and have children and yet I have never once been pregnant.

    I like you, often feel like a freak or like damaged goods but that's only natural as we probably have more then most going on with our bodies. Don't be hard on yourself.

    Of course Endo can come back after treatment so think it is worth seeing your doctor and getting referred again so it can be 'knipped in the bud.'

    I hope you start feeling better soon x

  • While it is harder for women with endometriosis to get pregnant it is not impossible. Seeing as you are not actively trying to get pregnant at the moment I wouldn't dwell too much on it as you're just upsetting yourself and it may be for no reason! Once you settle down with someone and decide you want children you may find that there will be little difficulty in getting pregnant. Endometriosis is a horrible condition to live with but it shouldn't stop you from living your life! I think it would also be really good for you to maybe share your concerns with a loved one- you mentioned you weren't very close with your mother but (if you felt comfortable) you could try to speak to her about it. I've found my that my mother is extremely supportive and encouraging. I'm 19 and the thought of maybe not being able to have children in the future upsets me too but its not at the forefront of my mind right now and my main focus is trying to control my endometriosis symptoms and not let them control me. I hope this helps reassure you!


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