Waiting for Lap for choc cyst & then IVF. How do you stay positive??

Been on a waiting list for a Lap for 4 months (which could be up to 9 months) then once choc cyst is removed we have to have IVF. I probably sound like a moan but I'm feeling very down at the moment. I'm 35 and feel like life is just not fair sometimes.

I'm trying to keep busy and doing yoga and running to try and manage the stress, but the waiting is just killing me. We can't afford to go private.

Has anyone any ideas for keeping positive as I'm just feeling in limbo and can't plan for the future. I'm avoiding friends who have kids at the mo because generally that's all they talk about, quite frankly I'm sick of the insensitive remarks and the sympathetic looks.

Sorry to be a drama queen! Just a bit fed up!

4 Replies

  • I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I can relate to the comments. I'm 34 and my husband and I will celebrate our 7th anniversary next month. I hear it all the time. I also work in an elementary school and a daycare, so that's hard sometimes too.

    It's hard to keep positive, especially when I see kids that are not taken care of how they need to be. Life is cruel sometimes, but I guess all we can do is make the best of it.

    Good luck with the IVF. We could never afford that. Dumb economy in the US!

    I know I probably haven't helped you feel better much, but just know you are not alone.

  • I understand how you feel Hun, I'll be honest though I don't keep positive at all!!! I really struggle with it, I'm lucky enough to be blessed with a child that I somehow managed to conceive, but my partner doesn't have any of his own, he never wanted one and I changed his mind on it and was then diagnosed and told I won't have anymore children and shouldn't have been able to conceive her, so couldn't give him one, I don't qualify for Ivf on nhs and can't afford to pay for It privately, and although I have one it kills me everyday that I can't have more, Espesh when she's constantly asking for a baby brother or sister, I try to focus on what I do have in life and what I have achieved, some days it helps, and some days it doesn't, I do the same as you, I try to avoid pregnant people or people with newborns.... I'm not a violent person but I actually threatened to punch my little brother last week because I had a few glasses of wine and he "joked" about not wanting his unborn baby! I think for a lot of us in here we struggle to keep positive because of how much pain we are in constantly and because of how much we feel has been took away from us, and no one really understands what we are all going through, try to focus on the future rather than the present.... You might have to go through all this hell right now but just focus on the Ivf as your end goal, it might seam like it's far away but if you are successful which I really hope you are you will have the rest of your life with your baby x

  • Yeah you're right I need to focus on the end goal and i'm sure when I look back on this time I will say it was all worth it.

    I just wish people wearn't so insensitive in the meantime, I actually recently had a good friend tell me I was 'lucky to be childless' as she was moaning about her kids. I felt like I had been slapped, she didnt mean any harm by it but I have avoided her since because I can't believe how stupid she was to say that!

    Thanks for taking the time to reply, I feel better getting this off my chest a bit and knowing others feel the same x

  • Yeh I know Hun, and no matter how much we tell ourselves it will be worth it it's still hard to believe it, knowing what to concentrate on and actually doing it are two different things, I hope you feel better soon and I really hope everything works out for you in the end, I will keep my fingers crossed for you x

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