Feeling fobbed off before my first gynae appointment -please help

Looking for some help and motivation :(

After being taken into hospital after collapsing with pain, the 3 and a half month long wait to see a gynaecologist since then, has felt extremely long and lonely :(

After swapping contraceptive pills and reducing some pain I thought I was on to a winner until a stressful week at work and some family issues brought it all back full swing. My manager at work isn't making it any easier and I have to go in tomorrow to speak to her "about what I'm going to do about my issue" as if I haven't been trying to help myself at all!!!

How do you explain to someone - sorry I'm not being helped by painkillers, and the axiety you're giving me is making it worse.?!?!

I went to an out of hours doc yesterday to get stronger Painkillers but the nurse couldn't. Then she came out with the line very rudely "you've gone 3 and a half months in pain, I'm sure you can do 2 and a half more weeks" I was go smacked by her attitude, even if I do understand she couldn't do anything more, that's not something you say!

I've lost so many friends because I haven't been able to "sort myself out" yet because to them the 6 months I've been severely worse is too much for them to bother with.

It's annoying waiting for an appointment where I know they are going to put me down for a lap. It's on my notes from discharge to the department. I wish I could skip that and go straight for the op as I'm dreading another wait. I had all my scans and examinations before this so it's just feeling abit pointless! Everyone assumes this appointment on 17th June is going to give me an answer and it's not!

So down now. Can't wait for the OH to get home for a big hug :(

Sorry for the rant.

Any advice for pushing through and hurrying up a lap is much appreciated.

Faye x

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  • Hi Faye,

    Sorry to hear you're having such a horrible time, I know how hard it can be waiting for appointments and considering their line of work in healthCARE ive met a surprisingly high number of unsympathetic doctors and nurses but please don't take it to heart. At your appointment, make sure you are really clear that you want to have the lap asap, in my experience if you give a doctor any chance to just throw you into the system and wash their hands, they will. Make it quite clear how the pain is affecting your life and don't be afraid to ring up doctors if you don't feel that things aren't moving quickly enough.

    Chronic pain of any kind can be hard to explain to friends and/or colleagues, it seems if you don't have a obvious visible illness then people think you're making it up or being lazy which is so unfair! My best advice is to spend time explaining your situation and offer to give your work regular updates to keep them feeling involved. You don't need to go into personal details but I found my boss a lot more sympathetic when I briefly explained my illness and that I was being observed/treated/waiting to hear from a doctor. If you have an illness you have every right to take time off, just make sure you communicate.

    As far as friends go, when suffering with with pain like we do, you certainly find out who you can rely on! I lost friends because they thought I just couldn't be bothered to go to uni when actually I was in so much pain I could barely get out of bed. Again the best thing to do is try and explain what you're going through to close friends and usually once they understand they will be incredibly supportive. Don't whatever you do suffer in silence!

    I've had limited success with painkillers, doctors would throw them at me instead of refer me on to specialists. If you're going through a bad patch don't wait for the pain to start before taking them, there's no point sitting in pain when you know you'll end up taking them anyway. Other than that the best advice I can give is eating as healthily as you can (lots of greens!) and having hot baths with epsom salts and essential oils in them - this relaxes the muscles to ease the cramping and if you find an essential oil you like itll help with the stress or anxiety as well. Keep active if you can but don't try an push yourself you'll only make the pain worse.

    Hope this has helped in some way and that your appointment goes well, sending best wishes :) x

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