Just recovering from my 2nd op but my head is fried

So back in Sept 2012 I received my first op for Endo. They found both ovaries had cysts one side the largest was 8cm and the other side 10cm. There wasn't much else there other than the cysts and I got instant relief after the op, even with all the post op recovery pains I felt miles better.

I'm just under 2 weeks post op from my 2nd op and I'm still sore but then again things were drastically different this time around.

They said I'm now stage 4. They had to remove almost all my left ovary to remove the cysts there and they burnt away the right side ones to try and preserve my remaining ovary. As well as the usual cysts I now have patches everywhere to the extent everything in there was joined in a ball in the middle (no wonder I was in so much pain), they couldn't treat all the patches without a bowel surgeon and a few others present. Apparently that's the plan for next time around as well as a full hysterectomy.

They have given me a deadline for thinking about children, I have between 6-12months roughly before things get too out of control. I'm 29 and recently out of a 12yr relationship and living back at the parents but my surgeon (who thankfully is an endo specialist) said he doesn't care if I'm single when it comes to IVF, especially in this situation.

To say my head is swimming would be an understatement, even almost 2 weeks on.

Both my parents are wonderful and supportive, even so far as to say I'm more than welcome to stay with them if I do get pregnant (although Dad says he doesn't want nappy duty)

I have a follow up appointment in August to see how I'm doing and that's when I've to see about creating a mini me.

I've always wanted children and to hopefully carry them myself but if I'm honest I never thought seriously about it before because my ex didn't want any, now I find that she's no longer in the picture and I have a countdown timer to deal with.

Has anyone here gone through IVF while single? Or has anyone else had to deal with a similar situation regarding a time frame and drastic change from previous results?

4 Replies

  • It might complicate the issue - but if they do remove the uterus and one ovary and still save the other one, Surrogacy is an option if you can find some awesome saint to act as a surrogate for you at a later date further down the line. So the baby would biologically be yours but nurtured as a foetus by someone else.

    It's something to think about.

    And Hooray for your fab supportive parents. My parents took me back in when my health failed and after dad passed away, me and mum co-habit with her supporting me considerably from her pension. Without her I'd be homeless as well as broke.

  • Hey, thanks for the reply and don't worry that was already in my head too.

    I really want to carry myself if I can, but it's definitely an option should I not have the option to carry. My cousin actually offered to be a surrogate as soon as she found out what the results of my op were, although that's something I think we'd both need to talk through further, possibly with a head shrinker.

    The way they were talking after my op was basically saying the next op would be the whole lot getting taken away, apparently the right side wasn't as bad as the left but still wasn't in great shape so they would be looking to harvest and store eggs (if I'm remembering this correctly) asap before it too gets destroyed by the wonderful thing that is Endo.

    My parents are currently looking after me and my hyperactive dog, I'm not allowed to take him for walks until the 6wks mark because he pulls so much and is just a general doofus. It does mean that the parents are getting all the crap weather and hopefully the sun will be shining by the time I'm able to take him out ;)

  • Hi TianRunty,

    My situation is totally different but were both in a similar position right now as I was diagnosed with Endo at 18 so I've always had fertility problems so have went through all the IUI's & IVF's and luckily we now have 2 gorgeous kids, no1 came along very easily but no2 took 16yrs to conceive, yes 16yrs!!, so I now I have a 20yr old and a 4yr old. Now I know having Endo & 2 kids is a miracle in itself but when my 2nd child was born we had decided right away we wanted to try again so our son would have a sibling closer to his age.

    Over the last 2yrs we havn't been in the position to try again but we were sure this was going to be our year, and when my surgeon told me I was having a lap in May to remove my 2 cysts I was so excited as he had told me the surgery would boost my fertility for 6 months so we have been so excited getting ready to start trying for baby no3.

    But then on Thursday I got the phone call to say depending on the outcome of an upcoming MRI they want me to have a hysterectomy!!.

    Now I know there will be people out there with no kids reading this thinking "Selfish greedy B***h" should be happy with the 2 kids she's got and believe me I am but our dream has always been 3 so I am now totally gutted that they want to take that chance away from us.

    But what I will ask is if you were still with your ex would you be considering having a baby now? And did you think about having kids before the hysterectomy was mentioned?

    I'm only asking as I know I have always wanted another baby but before I got the phone call I was ready to keep trying for another year and if it didn't happen then I would call it a day and accept it wasn't to be so I don't know why I just can't accept having a hysterectomy now. I think for me I want to know I gave it my best shot but sometimes i can't help wondering if sometimes we just want things more after being told we can't have it x

  • Hey. I've had the whole endo thing mentioned many times during my lifetime, first time I was mid teens but only recently got something done about it. So I knew fertility would probably be an issue.

    One of the positives I held on to when my relationship ended was that I could have kids some day now (it only ended on valentines day so I'm still getting over it). This was all before the hysterectomy talk happened, so in short I already had it in my head. It just wasn't in my head on such a short notice.

    I've always wanted children and it was a massive heartbreak to take the decision not to have any, one that haunted me on more than a few occasions.

    Thinking about it I would probably be broaching the subject with my ex with the deadline coming up, part of me always hoped she'd change her mind. And I always tried to preserve any chance I would have of kids.

    I hope you don't have to get a hysterectomy before you get your dream. Even if I don't end up with kids I could never grudge someone else the chance of little poop machines

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