Has anyone had any problems with partners?

[AlexR]

Has anyone had any problems with their partners when finding out about endo and subject of kids being brought up? me and my partner have been together nearly 3 years and have spoke about kids and starting next year. I have been confirmed i have endo and told f i want kids i need to start straight away not to wait, i told my partner this and before any discussion could be had he went really defensive and seemed angry at me. Has anyone else had this??

[Ria29]

Hi Alex,

I haven't had this particular issue however my husband was not supportive at all in the start. I caught him reading the letter the letter the hospital sent me with details of the laparoscopy. How just seemed angry. We were arguing, and I just couldn't understand how he could support me through this, I am always there for me when he is sick or injured (he races motorbike so is injured quite a bit) and he has never had to look after me that way.

Well one night he went out and got roaring drunk. When he came home he told me that he was scared, he was sorry for he had behaved and it scared him because he wasn't used to me being in need.

Since then he has been wonderful, (last night he spent hours just cuddling me whilst I cried and cried).

Everyone reacts differently and I think anger at being told when to have children when you have already planned this is an acceptable response.

I know we are the ones in pain but our partners are going through this as well, and are not always the best at being open about there feelings.

Give him some time, maybe find some reading for him on it and take him to you doctors visits so that he can ask any questions as well.

Good luck

Ria x

[wp22]

Hi AR, yes my o/h does not understand and everytime I mention E he gets all defensive and keeps away from me. I can,t even talk about any of it. Although he did take me to and from the hospital, really that was about it. I have got to the point where I only talk to a couple of people, two of my close friends and don,t talk about it to my mum. They just don,t understand, try to understand and tbh I don,t think they are at all interested. It makes me sad and I can,t remember a day I havn,t cried over this 'thing', it is wasting my left and time. I am certainly on my own in all of this, trying to cope with everything. And worst of all I am getting incomplete treatment from the docs so when I think I may get help I am left to deal with the devastation left behind from my incomplete ops, waste of fk.. time! X

[AlexR in reply to wp22]

Hi thanks for your replies. only thing my partner has been their for me with was taking to hospital and taking me home again, he works off shore on the oil rigs so is home a month then away a month. He hasnt been to any of my other appointments because he has not been here. He tells me im over thinking it and making it worse than it actually is. I have spent all last week in bed in pain and in tears with a foggy head trying to work out whats going on. He hasn't asked me how i am at all, i always need to say, (i know thats not alot but its nice to know hes thinking about me) he burned his hand last week when playing in hos garage and thats all i hear about and can i help him with it what should he put on it etc. Its like the endo and me being in pain doesnt exsist. My friend camem over and said to me you look like sh*t and shes being more supportive than him. She read up on it and asks how i am etc.. He has taken himself away on a 2 week holiday with a friend. I am over reacting in thinking he really doesnt care? 3 years in the relationship and ive nursed him through every cold and injury and he seems to cant get away from me quick enough. He says he doesnt like seeing me in pain. I havent told my folks as im not that close to them and im feeling completely alone here.

I am glad your husband has been very supportive to you great to hear and mp22 sounds like we are in same sort of situation tbh xx