Post op review, worries and a question.

[quintintle]

So today is my 'second review'. I had my first review brought forward because I was struggling a lot and came away in tears. It was a really unhelpful appointment and I had to ask, right before I was shooed out of the door, to actually see and hear about what they had found. I felt like I'd been patted on the head by a chubby registrar who has no idea what it's like to be a woman with period pains let alone any thing else. Something he said to me has made me more and more angry over time and I'm determined to mention it today, to him if I see him again, or to my consultant.

I think I'm hoping to come away from it with a better picture of the future, an idea about having children (that isn't 'you're young, go away') and to actually hear what was found all this months ago. I think the coil has helped somewhat but it hasn't removed all pain but it has made my skin go terribly spotty again (which I warned them about and said although its trivial it does concern me) and my boobs are so sore all the time. To be honest I want it out but I fear from they registrars' response the first time round I'll have that idea snorted at as well.

I'm a bit nervous. I travel 2 hours to see these guys so I don't want to come out like I did last time.

Finally, is it ok for my partner to come in with me? I know it's my choice but do any of you bring your partner into the room with you? (There is a separate room for internal examinations so if I have one he wouldn't be sitting there awkwardly on the other side of a curtain!). I felt I wanted him to come to be moral support for standing up for myself but also to be a second pair of ears. Or do you just think it's weird?

Thanks all, I hope you're having pain-free or as little pain as possible days!

x

[Donzy]

My husband now comes to all my appointments as I have had the same experience as you. When I go in for my appointment I am so nervous that I forget half the questions I want to ask. I also find my consultant quite intimidating. Having my husband in there with me is moral support. He is also (like you've said) a second pair of ears. X

[lillyflower]

Hi I asked the same question and most replies suggested taking my hubby was a good idea. My appointment did not go as expected and found out after I'd been given wrong info and am now thinking of making a formal complaint. But that's another story I was asked to decide weather I wanted pain relief of fertility? Without my husband I couldn't have made a decision and when I came out felt totally confused and was so glad to ask my husband what he thought and help me remember exactly what was said. I should point out this was part of the gyni team not the gyni I first saw who was initially very helpful so am now concidering making a complaint and asking to only see my gyni and not an alternative. So personally I would now take my hubby to appointments where any decisions are likely to be made. I'm sorry you have had a bad experience but I hope this second appointment is much better x

[quintintle]

Thanks both for your support, it means a lot. It's so sad so many of us go through similar negative experiences.

My partner didn't come in with me in the end because about 5 minutes before we reached the hospital we found out his father (who I met for the first time 2 days ago) died in the morning. We were both in shock at the appointment and I felt in the whirlwind getting there that I didn't want to load him with any more stuff.

I explained to the doctor that I was shaky because of this and I think it reminded me to take my time and be calm, even though it was hard anyway.

I've still come out feeling fairly dissatisfied - the long and short was they're confident they've removed it all, as I'm on the coil it won't grow back as I'm not bleeding and therefore the endo is supressed (this isn't what I've heard), the fact I still have pain was pretty much ignored (just stick with the coil etc even though I'm now not bleeding at all and still have pain/discomfort). The part I actually feel more calm about (since talking also to my mum who's a GP) is the baby bit, I'm waiting to have a root block for my three slipped discs and potential surgery for that afterwards so I couldn't get pregnant yet anyway, and I've decided I need and want to give us both a break and my body a while to (hopefully) recover - hey, maybe the coil will still work wonders) or at least have some pain free time. So realistically we couldn't really start trying for another year. So I'm going to make peace with that, give myself some space and time, find a way to enjoy some of this year after such a tough, tough time and reassess later. I feel better about that, somehow.

However, I am lying here tonight on the sofa with discomfort which is so like the pain I had before and I cannot understand it and to be honest it's making me angry! How can it be? Am I just going mad?

Tough, tough day. Thanks for reading. x