Having endo makes me feel so down at times, most of the time i JUST GET ON WITH IT because i think to myself its not cancer Deb, there are alot of people out there that have alot worse illness then endo, people with cancer seem strong and try to make the most of life so why cant i feel like that with endo.
people around me dont say anything about endo to me but the moment i say " my back is killing me " or " im so tired " the look on thier faces says it all. i often think wouldnt life for everyone be better if i wasnt here moaning about pain and being tired?. i mean what am i here for ? yes i go to work yes most of the time i put a brave face on but i dont go anywhere, when i try to do my houswork im in pain so i end up sat on my sofa , bed or pc doing nothing.
I truly dont understand what my life is ment to be about i feel like im just here to suffer.
sorry for the rant but if i talk to anyone about these feelings they dont understand and they think quick check she has taken her antideprsants. my partner is the only one that actuly says " babe i know its frustrating for you and its not only you that is going through this I M TOO, i understand it gets you down and you need to let it out ". he then cuddles me and lets me cry like a baby on his shoulder, it does help to get it off your chest yes its an unfair disease and it rules our life but let it out once in a while i also keep a dairy that i write all sorts of things in but when im really down thats the first thing i do get my diary out and scribble, draw angry faces, sware.
I just felt like i would share this with you guys cos if anyone is going to know how i feel its you guys xx
I wish you all a pain free life