Go with your gut feeling!

Hi ladies! I'm new to this site and I've been reading some of your blogs and I really feel for you all! I know my story is not half as bad as you all but I just need some reassurance.

To cut a long story kind of short I'm 18 and I've been suffering with excruciating periods since I was 12 and ended up passing out with the pain. The past 4 years have been the worst and when I was 15 I went on the pill to try and reduce the pain and because I had just started seeing my partner. After a couple of months of seeing each other I started staying at his house most of the time as him mam took ill and was in hospital for a long time so I helped look after the animals. . After about a year of being in a relationship with him I finally felt I was ready to have sex with him as we had a good relationship without sex and I felt totally comfortable and ready to take our relationship to the next level. I wanted my first time to be nice and romantic so when we had the house to ourselves I lit a few candles and we snuggled and watched a lovely film and one thing led to another as it does. We only ever did foreplay and oral sex so we started off with that for about 2 hours so I was definately ready but when we attempted intercourse it was excruciatingly painful so we had to stop. We tried for weeks after that but the same happened so I went to see my GP who over the last 2, nearly 3 years of not being able to have sex tested me for everything under the sun. Name a test and I've had it! I had to be put under general anaesthetic just to be examined because the pain was so bad. I even went to a relate councillor and a psycholosexual therapist thinking it was all in my head but nothing worked it was still excruciating. I've been on pregablin tablets to help numb the nerve endings and have used instilagel to numb myself before attempting penetration. I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I was 15 and this made it worse! I looked up everything that could possibly be causing my symptoms and I came across endometriosis. I was positive I had it so I went to see my GP and she referred me to have a laparoscopy in March this year. I was told when I came round that they found a 'blood blister' in my pouch of Douglas and have sent it off to be tested but they told me that I HAVEN'T got endometriosis but I was inflamed possibly by chronic thrush so for the billionth time I was treated for thrush. So after I recovered from my lap I told myself to just get on with it and that there is nothing wrong with me I'm anatomically normal so there's no reason I can not have sex. But the pain was still too excruciating that no matter what I tried nothing eased the pain. My partner has been great but 3 years of not having sex has been difficult and things did get really bad between us a few times. This morning I got a letter stating that my results came back and I have chronic Candida overgrowth and believe it or not endometriosis!!! I was so mad and upset! It took them 3 months to tell me I had this after telling me I did NOT have endometriosis! I knew I had it but after being told I didn't and everything else I'd been tested for came back negative I thought I was losing my mind. I'm glad there is an explanation for everything but I'm so nervous and anxious about what happens next. My GP is going to ring me first thing in the morning to discuss things but I was just wondering if anyone knows what might happen next. I'm so scared. Thank you for reading this it means a lot to me and I hope you're all ok xx

1 Reply

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  • My Endo symptoms also started in my teens and I have always found sex very painful - certain positions were worse than others (I fainted from pain once!). My first lap at 20 was also clear so I understand how upsetting and stressful it is.

    I'm now married but unable to have sex due to ongoing symptoms after a hormonal treatment I stopped four years ago. I've always found sex and internals painful but had to have internal recently and the pain was unbelievable - they can't get my mirena coil out so I need a general anaesthetic to have it removed.

    I know that there are conditions like vaginismus which can make sex and internals very painful, plus it's hard to relax when you know how painful it's likely to be which makes things worse. Using numbing gel and painkillers before hand can help, as can experimenting with different positions, a glass of wine etc!

    Unfortunately I've completely lost my sex drive and can't bring myself to do anything intimate at all - luckily you're not in that position, so try to do the things that aren't painful and try to not worry about the actual sex.

    Hopefully a hormonal treatment and pain relief will help you and things will improve.

    x

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