Help needed....diagnosed and dont know what to do with myself!!

Hi everyone,

Im new to this site and not sure how anything works so bear with me...

I came on here hoping to find something to help me, I had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy about 3 weeks ago to help diagnose painful periods, pain during intercourse, infertility etc.....

Im 25, ive been having problems with my periods since I started them when I was 9 but 3 years ago after coming off the pill they got considerably worse to the point where for a week every month my life would be ruled by them. It didnt help that me and my partner have been trying for a baby for the past 3 years to no avail. After seeing 3 different doctors over this period I eventually got a referral to a gynecologist, hense the recent operation. After going for an appointment after the op, I was told it was endo and would need a further operation to remove the tissue they found. They also found that my uterus is bicornuate, and I still have whats called a septum there which they would have to cut away also. I left the appointment feeling quite positive that something was happening, but since ive got home ive been an emotional wreck. I dont know whats normal or why im feeling like this, im starting to resent friends with babies, people are pregnant and im constantly moaning or crying to my husband about anything or everything. He's supportive, but im wondering how much more he can take! It would be just nice to hear of other peoples experiences or any advice, I know im still young to really be worrying about anything, but after years of pain and emotion I cant yet see any light at the end of the tunnel.

8 Replies

  • Hello i have had endometriosis since i was 14 years old im now soon to be 22 , i know how you feel when i found out that i had endo i hated the world and i felt like i was blaming everyone around me for it , its normal to feel like this im sure many girls will tell you exactly the same thing.

  • Hello,

    Your boyfriend/husband will be supportive the whole time. Don't worry. I have a girlfriend who is in pain and I try and do anything to help even if it is sit there like a dog and listen with both ears pinned back!!!

    I wish the best for you. And your comment about being are but its understandable as you want to start building a life for yourself :) You can, but dont beat yourself up about being down. Everyone is allowed to be and a supportive husband will reinforce this with his support through the bad times. As I say to my girlfriend - 'Through everything together' (I know not pain wise but anything to help her).

    :) Hope this helps from a guys perspective

  • Hi there thankyou very much for your reply, partners like you are what helps the most! :)

  • Hi I was diagnosed a few months ago and also found out my tubes are bloked as they tested with dye at same time as lap. Firstly I was in shock and constant crying after bring told my tubes would need removing. After a few weeks I realised i was finding it all hard to deal with. I think after an op you think you should feel better but I felt worse and wad struggling to deal with the emotional side. I was so tired from the constant pain I just wanted to hide and any messages I got about my nieces and nephews would upset me more as I couldn't stop thinking about my life without kids so I can relate to everything you have said. I went to my doctors broke down in tears which I think said it all. My doctor was very sympathetic and said it is life changing so wasn't surprised I was struggling. She sugested if I could relieve some pain that would be the first step and the pills which are used for nerve pain can also be used as an anti depressant so this could be a helpful side effect. So I started taking nortriptyline and after a few days I stopped crying and felt more like me again. It's hard to explain but I felt I was down a hole with all these worries piled on top of me not knowing what would happen. But I can honestly say I am making steps to feeling better. The pain is still there but I'm finding it more manageable and after another do doctors appointment I'm getting referred to fertility to discuss IVF. So I just wanted you to know there is light at the end of the tunnel but my best advice is to deal with one thing at a time as worrying about everything is overwhelming. There is help and as your young you have time on your side and if you need help getting pregnant then there is plenty of help for you.

    The other thing which I found helped was a candle lit bath and time to just relax with my own thoughts and have a good cry not worrying about trying to hide the tears or explain why I was crying but just letting it out and the heat eased the pain too. So I hope knowing that what your feeling is very normal and that although its hard to see how things will improve the doctors will help so maybe a chat with your doctor may help too. Xx sending hugs x

  • Thankyou for your reply, starting to feel a little more human, just had my first period since op which was horrendous but doctors very helpful now they know whats going on (finally!)

  • Oh forgot to say the only time I forgot the worries temporarily and smiled was watching my peter Kay DVD. Funiest thing ever and any laughter makes you feel better even just for a few minutes distraction!! Xx

  • Lillyflower, I am sorry you are feeling this way and having such a hard time coping. Talking to people who are going through similar things is always a great help. When i was diagnoses, after an emergency surgery that cut me open the doctor came the next day and said oh you have endo you will never have kids and we are going to start an injection and that was it. no info nothing. had to look it up online. then of course since i was only 18 and living on my own away from my family, i went into a downward spiral of alcohol and drugs to numb the pain. i mean i always used weed to help with the period pains, well since i was like 16 lol not younger then that but i never used it for anything else. but after that i started to i smoked every day till i was well 25. then i stopped for a year but i use it again for pain only and do not smoke it every day all day like i used to. any way just totally went off subject. but see thats what happens when you talk and have people to talk to things just come out. have you thought about seeing someone? ask your gp to send you to a counsellor. there is no shame in it. i go once a week and it does help. also if you like there is a group on face book that is really good so many wonderful helpful understanding ladies going through exactly this here is a link. any one can join it is a private group so you can post anything and no one on your facebook will be able to see it just people in the group. here you go darling hope to see you there. its a wonderful community.

    copy and paste that link then click join group and i will approve you or any one else who would like to join.

    sending love and prayers to you. xxxx

  • Hi I'm glad you are finding counciling helpful and hope you are feeling more positive x

    I can totally relate to you, after my miscarriage and big op I also smoked weed and got drunk and really just went into a world of not caring! But that was a long time ago now and I'm still smoking normal cigerettes which I need to quit soon to be able to get fertility treatment. It's not going to be easy but now I feel more like me since I've been on these new pills. I think being told I'd be infertile having tubes removed, a lot of the emotions I hadn't dealt with years ago resurfaced. Although my mum still pretends like it never happened as was disgusted I was pregnant so was happy when I lost it but that's another story! Like I say I am feeling better and being referred to fertility is giving me a little hope so just taking it all one step at a time! I have clicked on facebook so hopefully see you there. Thanks x

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