Moderation or completely alcohol free?

[Rose0304]

Hi just looking for some advice on moderation or staying alcohol free.My problem is this…I suppose it’s classed as ‘binge drinking’? I can go for weeks even months without having a drink but then a social occasion comes up and basically it all goes pear shaped 😔I don’t seem to have any control over the amount I consume! I have every intention of having just a couple but more often than not I have far too much even to the point of blacking out! I guess I’m asking for advice on how to moderation or wondering if I should go completely alcohol free? Any advice/tips/support please 🙏🏻

[Hidden]

Hi I have same problem I think I'm ok to have few but more often than not ends up too many I don't feel I want to give it up same as most I spoke to at AA but I'm.afraid I really don't think there's a cure from binge drinking there's a thin line between alcoholism and binge drinkers I stopped for 3 month's started again thinking we'll I could stop at one, I can drink less if it's beer or something longer than wine what do you drink I also tried mixing it with non alcohol wine and switching to non alcohol beer cider when I stopped those at AA stopped altogether for many years they carried on going there it's a sad sinario I'm afraid as I now realise I need to go back there as my drinking escalated again it's mainly when I'm.of low mood or problems I reach for drink thinking I'll have couple I don't usually dare keep much in but think I'm ok to then out the blue it can happen and you loose control I'd advise stop completely I think I'll have to I've had accidents and health problems and upset people too good luck my friend 🤗xx

[Rose0304 in reply to Hidden]

Awww thanks for taking the time to reply much appreciated 🙏🏻 I think I’m going to go totally alcohol free as I’ve been doing lots of research and it’s not a lack of willpower! Alcohol is an addictive substance so even after 1 drink it’s virtually impossible (for me) to stop there 🤷🏻‍♀️I can go for months without a drop but as soon as I have that one drink it’s literally all over! Then I have to spend so much time and energy picking up the pieces! I think it’s just finally admitting to myself that alcohol is very destructive in my life and it’s the 1 thing that messes up literally everything! I’m not going to spend my time even trying to moderate as in my experience I can’t do it 🤦🏻‍♀️I’ve been following a lady called ‘Annie Grace’ she’s amazing and backs everything up with science and changing your thoughts etc around alcohol…you can find her on YouTube,she does a 30 day alcohol experiment which is a real eye opener…good luck on your journey and please stay in touch ☺️

[Callison in reply to Rose0304]

It’s both interesting and supportive to look at celebrities who don’t drink and their reasons why.

[Rose0304 in reply to Callison]

True I’ve been looking into this and it’s very interesting and inspiring ☺️

[Isinatra in reply to Rose0304]

Hi Rose, I’m a recovering alcoholic , sober since 2003. I was able to stop drinking for months at a time, but never considered myself a so called binge drinker. There’s no scientific research or set rules that determine how much time in between bouts of drinking that can label a person a binge drinker or alcoholic. If a person drinks with negative consequences and still drinks, that’s a red flag that they are alcoholic. Always trying to control how much a person drinks is also a red flag and then not being able to control it, is another.As you seem to know, alcohol, next to tobacco, is one of the most addictive substances on this planet. Still to this day, people would rather admit that they have mental illness or narcotic addiction than alcoholism. It takes a very brave person to take that first step to admit they are alcoholic. It’s the beginning of recovery. We alcoholics metabolize alcohol differently than non alcoholics, thus making us more susceptible to addiction. AA and therapy saved my life as well as hundreds of thousands of other alcoholics. AA wrote their Big Book in the early thirties. As well meaning as it was, I disagree that there is such a thing as a binge drinker. I’ve seen too many people with so called binge drinking brought to their knees because of it. Alcohol starts out telling you it’s your best friend, until it knows it has you by the you know whats and you need a real friend to help you out of impending disaster. Some people go to AA once or twice and determine that it’s not for them because it doesn’t help them to control their drinking. Something drove them to AA, but yet, they don’t give AA a chance or listen long enough to see there is a way out of their hell, for alcohol is so hard to kick. But it can help as it’s history has shown. You are already on your path to recovery, pickup the tools so graciously and humbly laid at your feet to aid you for a better life. My best wishes to you. My pm is always open to my friends. ❤️🏄‍♀️

[Rose0304 in reply to Isinatra]

Thank you so much for your in depth reply much appreciated 🙏🏻Your journey must have been hard but so worth it as you’ve been sober since 2003 that’s an amazing achievement 💜 how has sobriety changed your life?

[Isinatra in reply to Rose0304]

Thank you for your reply, Rose. My life has changed for the positive in so many ways. Friends and relatives don’t avoid me. My thinking is clearer. I don’t carry the guilt or worry of harming myself or others. I don’t have to lie. I’m not afraid to drive or worry if that police car behind me will pull me over and I’ll be sent to jail. I don’t have to worry about what I did while I was in a blackout. I don’t have to borrow money I can’t pay back to buy my alcohol. I can focus so I can read a book, tend to a plant, pay bills. People can trust me again. And best of all, I can help other people instead of begging them for help. Nothing but good comes out of not drinking for people with problems with drinking. 👍🏼 Have to add one more thing, therapy helps with the reason I started drinking in the first place in addition to AA.

[Rose0304 in reply to Isinatra]

Awww so many lovely positives to help you live a peaceful,tranquil life 🙏🏻Have you ever been tempted to have just the one drink along the way? And IF you have what advice could you offer on sticking to your decision regarding sobriety? 🙏🏻💜

[Isinatra in reply to Rose0304]

At the first of my last attempt at sobriety, I was so afraid of being tempted to drink, I made sure I made plans of how to stay away from obvious triggers. Holiday parties where there would be alcohol around, bars, some restaurants, flying and even staying in hotels. So I even excused myself from attending family reunions and a school reunion. I told myself….those can come later when I feel strong enough. But even to this day, especially around the holidays, the ads for drinking and commaraderie on television can make me wish I could join in. Overtime, those thoughts and urges became minimal enough to handle. But I never forget for a minute that I’ll always be an alcoholic in recovery. That’s a guard I do my best to not let down. My life has been pretty tranquil lately, but life is life. Full of ups and down, but whatever it throws at me, so far, I won’t drink over it.

[Hidden in reply to Rose0304]

Hi good luck I think I may need to look her up there's some books someone mentioned too if you look at the latest posts I think I'm.in control then as you say it can be fatal just having one I had some binges lately and ashamed and guilty of damage may have caused I need a good detox take care and yes stay in touch 🤗

[NDnurse14 in reply to Rose0304]

I struggle with both binge and frequency and started on naltrexone, which blocks some of the brains reward for alcohol. Its helped make it a little easier to reach my moderation goals, and was prescribed by my primary doctor. You still can get drunk on it, but for me it just made it easier to say "ok im stopping at X glasses", or "ok i can do a week with no drinks". Thinking about you on your recovery journey!

[SoberDrunk1 in reply to Hidden]

Is she restless irritable and discontented when not drinking? You may add other manifestations of untreated alcoholism like boredom, anxious..etc. I see she drinks alcoholically, perhaps she does have the allergy part but what if she is just a hard drinker? like the book talks about.

[Callison]

And therein lies the problem. It’s the first drink that leads to drink 2,3 to oblivion. Without the first drink there would be no 2,3 to oblivion. 😉

[Rose0304 in reply to Callison]

100% agree and it’s a massive learning curve..I think I’ve known this for years but it’s time for a change! In my experience the first drink is the problem which leads me down a slippery slope 🤦🏻‍♀️So I’m accepting I have a problem around this,owning it,and trying to make good decisions 🙏🏻

[Callison in reply to Rose0304]

You’re not the only one with an alcohol use problem, just look at all the other people doing a Friday and Saturday binge drink. You’ve become aware. Now you seen the light you can make changes to alcohol use or should I say non use. 😊

[Rose0304 in reply to Callison]

Thank you 🙏🏻 and yes I think the biggest hurdle is acceptance, then,and only then can you move forward and make positive changes & choices ☺️My time is precious and I don’t want to waste any more of it in the ‘alcohol trap’ onwards & upwards 🙏🏻☺️

[Callison in reply to Rose0304]

😇

[HeavyFoot in reply to Callison]

“One’s too many, and three aren’t enough”.

[Hidden]

I think it's something that only you can work out / decide for yourself.

I know I can't moderate, that's part of the problem and something I've been kidding myself about for years.

I drank almost everyday, and far too much. I stopped 3 weeks ago and felt OK actually. I thought I'd test myself and allow myself a drink at the weekend, see how it felt, but again just couldn't moderate. So I'm back on the wagon.

[Rose0304 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah it’s a tough one isn’t it this moderation business! Sometimes I can and other times I can’t ! I’ve not had a drink now for 8 weeks and I’m not planning too so I’m just going day by day and each new day is another day of sobriety 💜💜

[Isinatra in reply to Rose0304]

One day at a time.❤️

[54431342]

The Americans have a saying..."If you want to quit drinking-You got to quit drinking."

[Synderellasw]

Heya, I signed up on here for the same reason. I have a terrible cycle of getting to Friday/Saturday night and drinking 2 bottles of wine, I then eat terrible food (When I’ve been really healthy all week long) and make bad decisions.

My partner goes to bed and I stay up alone drinking and then have horrific hangovers the next day. I always swear after the hangover has worn off that I won’t do it again….but then Friday rolls around again.

How do you break this cycle?!

I’ve decided today I’m just not going to have the “first drink” and try and stay alcohol free for these reasons:

*Concentrate on my little boy

*Lose weight

*Better skin

*Save money

*Improve relationship

*Better sleep

*Get rid of the hangovers & guilt feeling

*No more damage control the next day

Any tips or advice would be much appreciated 💜

[Smegmer in reply to Synderellasw]

Sounds all too familiar !

[Isinatra in reply to Synderellasw]

Go to AA before your drinking becomes completely out of your control. 💕

[Green_Eggs_And_Ham in reply to Synderellasw]

Literally everything you have said resonates with me so much! I treat my body like a temple and then the weekend hits and I undo all the hard work & treat it like a rubbish bin.

[Hidden]

im a functional binge drinking on a regular basis and just sick of feeling like crap so I have cut down to allow one day a week because alcohol has been a social conference builder for so many many years and just changing my habits have worked really well and things have improved massively. Changes can be made once Your mind is made up. So good luck

[Hidden]

I was alcohol free for 3 years then 2021 I tried moderation just a bottle of wine on Friday. Over the next few years I slipped to a bottle of Merlot most days, so I have decided I can't control and moderate. So 8 days ago I stopped and joined Dry Days app, and read The Naked Mind a brilliant book, which has changed my mindset. The future is no alcohol

[Hidden]

im on day 14 alcohol free, and I feel so much better especially in the mornings