Newbie and being sterilised after having... - Different Strokes

Different Strokes

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Newbie and being sterilised after having a stroke


Hi, I'm new, I had a stroke 6 months ago whilst I was 33 weeks pregnant, I'm only 27. I had to have a massive blood clot removed from my brian and now I have a stent on my Brian and on warfarin for the rest of my life. I now have to be sterilised as I have been told I'm no longer able to have anymore children because of my stroke as I will be high risk to having another one. I was just wondering if anybody else has been in the same situation where you have had to be sterilised after having a stroke? And how did you cope with not having the choice not to have more children?

22 Replies

I had a stroke after having my second child. I too was told it would be too dangerous to have anymore children, I was 22 and felt like I had had my womanhood taken away from me but I knew getting steralized was the best thing to do as I didn't want to risk leaving my children without their mum, hope this helps you

Charley27 in reply to chellholl

Hi, yeah it helps thank you, I know that getting sterilised is the best thing for me and my children but it's like you say it feels like your womanhood has been taken away. X

6regor in reply to Charley27

It's not the same at all but there's part of me tat would make me feel a loss of manhood If I were told that it was to be chopped off for my own good. I have absolutely no doubt that the man in your life still sees you as all woman #Charley27!!!

Hope its works out for you good luck ,I had a major stroke over 2 years ago,but I,m recovering slowly take each day as it comes its hard because you,re so young

Charley27 in reply to woodycat3

Thank you woodycat3, see even tho I had a major stroke, I had a stent put in to my brain whilst being pregnant, they had to do the operation because the chances of survival was very slim for both me and my son. I was up walking and talking the next day for which I am very lucky. I do have a few issues like my right arm is weak at times and I suffer from headaches. It's hard for anybody to come to terms with having a stroke but thank you for your kind words and hope you recover well aswell x

woodycat3 in reply to Charley27

I was on holiday in Malta when it happened to me,I was 3 weeks there before I was allowed to fly home and I was in hospital for 9 months altogether and in a nursing home now,I,ve been away from my house for 2 years 7 months and I hope to make it home eventually ,I have been learning to walk with a frame and having speech therapy I have a long way to go ,but I,m a determined to make best of the situation I,m in !

Good luck with your recovery x

annlynne in reply to woodycat3

good luck woodycat3. you will get there. keep up the physio and have confidence you can and will walk again. I had the most wonderfvul Romanian physio who wouldn't listen to my protestations or excuses "Get up Anne, get in that gym" But she was right I did walk (albeit with a stick -but you can get some pretty nifty sticks)

good luck -you can do it !


woodycat3 in reply to annlynne

Thank you I,m glad I found this site knowing every one has different problems to face every day brings us much closer together

I'm a bloke but I do so feel for you. I've had a crap time of it myself but to have something like that on top of all the usual symptoms is beyond my capacity to really imagine properly. when you say "anymore" children You must be totally sick of hearing people say tritely that you should to be thankful for the ones you do have, as if they don't think you are being.I'm sure they genuinely feel for you but don't know how to express their feelings of empathy any better. It's not the same at all but my wife had a miscarriage 30 years ago and now I can love my grandchildren in turn, like the old joke - If I'd known my Grandkids were going to be this much fun I'd have had them first!. Your life can still be full of happiness #Charley27 and I do wish you all the very best in finding the strength to fully enjoy life Do try and get your doctor to put you in touch with a talking therapist as it can really help to unload. I find myself saying things I would never have expected and that I couldn't possibly say to family as it would be so embarrassing and they might find hurtful. You have a lot of grieving to get through #Charley27, but I'm sure you'll get there

Charley27 in reply to 6regor

Thank you :)

It's nothing#Charley27 - I just wish there were more I could do to help. I'm very conscious of the kind words of support I've had over the two and a half years since the stroke hit me. I went into a jewellers a few months ago for a new strap for a watch I had bought with my wife and burst into tears at the memories it brought to the surface. the assistant got me a chair, offered to make me a coffee and gave me a hug. There are some truly lovely ppeople out there. I've just had to learn to accept help graciously and that asking for or accepting help is NOT weakness

Women can and do have children after having a stroke. It's not so black and white. As your stroke is quite recent, I would suggest you give it some time and seek other medical opinions before doing anything irreversible. Hope things work out for you.

Charley27 in reply to upnabout

The doctors have told me I have to be sterilised because I was pregnant when i had my stroke, so unfortunately that's my situation as the docs said I will 99% have another stroke and because I'm on warfarin for the rest of my life there is no chance my unborn baby if I was to fall pregnant survive or would be born with a disformaty

upnabout in reply to Charley27

I don't want to give you false hope, but I think you should seek a second opinion. Doctors' advice is an opinion, albeit often a wise opinion, but they are fallible like the rest of us. Good luck.

Hidden in reply to upnabout

Hi ladies and gents

My name is keeling 87

My partner is charlie27

I'd thought I'd like to point out how everyone is all communicating sharing story's about what they went thru with having a stroke. Truly lovely to read people comparing storys and I wish all of you healthy and speedy recovery

However upnabout this one is for you. Have u suffered a stroke ??/ but you certainly aren't a women as your gender is male on your profile.

When a women has a stroke during or after pregnancy and for a women who has had a stroke but yet to have any children, only to be told from several doctors, sorry but I'm afraid you can't have more or any children in the future it can be quiet heartbreaking for them.

So telling someone to go for a second opinion I don't know how many more doctors etc you think it takes for it to be a second opinoin as charlie27 has already seen three doctors and two consultants

Now do you not think that this is really difficult for charlie27 enough without somebody like you that knows nothing about her situation telling her to go for second opinion

So yes quiet frankly it is black/white for charlie27 and myself

I suggest I stick to the glute colum

Good luck


Good afternoon upnabout

Only taking my frustration out souly on you. Firstly your comment to charlie27 was unwarranted not to mention fible.

My partner asked for peoples feed back mainly about going thru the process of being sterilised and how they coped with not having the choose to have more children

I would like to know how many doctors etc it takes for it to be called a second opinion ?????

Your comment to charlie27 was very unwarranted the converstation she was having with other people was to the point yours however wasn't now I'm sure you thought you was being helpfully but I'm afraid you wasn't

I suggest and feel free to get a second opinion, is to apologize to charlie27

because your comment upset her it certainly pissed me off if it didn't bother her I wouldn't be messaging you on the matter

Good day to you SIR

Good luck


Wow never thought bout that how selfish of me oh wait already had a vasectomy.

Better luck with a come back


But if we was to split up I might not want more children with other women.

I'm more then happy to keep playing bing pong with you.

I think we both know you was in the wrong lol

Not aplogizing to charlie27 ???

Wishing you all the best old boy

Hiya, I have recently had a stroke post natal rather than in pregnancy. I haven't been told to be sterilised but age 40 hadn't planned on any more but I can appreciate how difficult this must be for you on top of everything else u have had to go through, especially if it wasn't part of ur plan. My situation isn't the same but I am having a n op on my heart to prevent any more strokes which I am dreading and the way I am trying to deal with it is by accepting that I have to go through whatever for the sake of my children I have. I'm not sure if it makes it all any easier! You have been through a hell of a lot I hope in time this will get easier for you. You sound very brave, best of luck x


Charley27 in reply to Dwood647

Thank you. Good luck with your recovery :)

Hope your doing well check out a Facebook page called; parents stroke support group. o have found it helpful x x

Dear Charley,

Belated response. You are an incredibly resilient young woman; nurture it. May it serve you well as you carve out a new direction for your life. Feisty protector, your partner....:)

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