Feeling very let down

[missrat]

For the past year or so I've been part of a facilitated depression support group for 90 minutes most weeknights. We have had a few problems, but it has been good that we can support each other in things that crop up day by day. The groups had two facilitators at a time. Sometimes I found too much humour which was not to my taste - especially the night the new Pope had been elected. (I'm not a Roman Catholic, but realised that the comments would be even more upsetting to them than to Protestants). That night I did put in an official complaint to ask that the 'perpetrators' could receive an explanatory warning. However, usually if I found things difficult I would just log out. Sometimes I would be 'off-topic' - about my pets, but either in response to questions or with regard to how they, and the 'rat world' helped or hindered my depression.

Last night we found we had an 'Information Meeting' announced and, out of the blue were told that the old format groups had stopped, because of a board decision and would be replaced in May with 1 to 1 online series of 8 CBT sessions with a mentor - or the face-to-face groups which are not in the UK.

CBT has its uses, but isn't for everyone, and one session weekly gives no opportunity for the day-to-day support in things which may crop up. Much of the benefit, too, came from giving support to others and feeling valued, which the new format will not do.

I feel very let down by the suddenness, the inability to thank our facilitators etc. Because things have been so secretive, I only have emails for two users. I am contacting them with a view to a Facebook group with 'secret' privacy. There have been two other groups which folded - one US group has largely moved over to FB, which gave me the idea, and one of the members has set up another web group. The first group to fold - soon after I came on the internet, was also upsetting - it was a great group, but had one leader who, I think, had acquired a girlfriend, which took up all his time!

I am struggling at the moment because of one or two personal problems and physical health issues - especially worried about Friday, when I have a visit from an engineer about installing a new boiler. Mum was almost phobic about having people in the house and, although our reasons are virtually opposite, I am the same. She almost verged on being obsessional about tidiness etc. and after her death I've reacted against it by being the exact opposite - verging on 'hoarding.' Also, one of my beautiful pets has been loose for a week! Last night she kept coming out and looking at me, then running away as if to say "You can't catch me!" She knows how the cage traps work and will not take the bait! They are too clever!

A couple of things at the weekend led me to harm mildly (despite being nearly 67)

[hamble99b]

I think any change is unsettling, I hope you find something else that helps.

sandra.

[missrat]

I have sent a long email to be read by those 'higher up' explaining problems I have seen, things that are lost by not having a group, problems envisaged about the CBT.

Right, for me it is time to move on, but I wanted to make clear the problems faced by many members who are really struggling at present. My background, and my super GPs give me a lot of advantages in self-help, but a number of members clearly have problems which make finding help, assessing reliability of web information etc. very hard, and I wanted the board to see it from their angle. I often feel myself as fitted to be a 'go-between'.