Tried telling my mum I had depression

So I've tried (in the past) telling my mum I have depression to which her reply is always 'I was depressed as a teen too dear, don't worry, it'll go away, it's all just part of being a teenager!'

No sympathy. Whatsoever. Of telling her a secret that feels shameful to me. I told her previously I wanted to go to my GP but she said not to because I was just a child (this was 3 years ago when I was 15). Now 18 I've gone to my GP who's trying to get me to see councilors, etc because it's not just 'teenage angst' that I just need to 'get over' but now I don't want to tell her! She neither cares not understands (I lost 4 kilos in a month which she didn't notice) And to be honest, I'm not sure I want her to know anymore.


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5 Replies

  • I really connected to your post Betsy. You seem like an intelligent young lady who has had to make some very mature decisions about your health. That would be difficult for a person who is well supported, even moreso for someone going it alone. Sometimes folk see mental health difficulties in their children as a sign that they failed as a parent. Please dont think she doesn't care, I'm sure she does. She may be finding it hard to know how to help you.

    You have absolutely nothing whatsoever to feel ashamed about. You've done nothing wrong. Lots of teenagers suffer with depression. It's the brave and strong people like you who acknowledge and act on it. Is there someone else you could talk to? A friend's Mum perhaps, or an Aunty? What about someone at your school or college?

    All the best X

  • Hi, I imagine you must feel disappointed in your mum and angry that she didn't take your concerns seriously, perhaps her inability to respond sensitively to you has contributed to your feeling depressed in the first place - it's always ddepressing when parents are unable to understand their childrens' feelings. Neither my mum nor my dad understood my depression and it has been difficult to come to terms with their failure to do that, we always want our parents to care but sometimes their own experiences make them unable to care sensitively in the ways we need. I hope you find counselling useful, if not then do seek further help from someone to talk to, it isn't your fault that your mum was unable to respond sensitively, she just doesn't have that ability. Perhaps her own mum wasn't able to respond adequately to her needs? I agree with Suzie, it isn't yuor fault, just open up to somebody and don't bottle your feelings up as doing that will make it harder for you to cope with the depression. Suexxx

  • Thanks Sue, Suzie,

    I've told a couple of friends about it, the first just shrugged and carried in texting but the other actually listened and acres (it's such a good feeling when someone just listens) but even then I haven't told her everything, I don't like giving everything away it makes me feel vulnerable.

    As for my mum I worries she'll think I'm just being dramatic or she'll then try to 'help'. I don't want her to help, I'd been trying for 3 years for her help and now I've adapted to not leaning on her. So if she tried 'helping' now I'd just let out 3 years of pent up frustration at her. I do love my mum I just don't see her as a source of support. I think it's because she's been a divorced parent for so long, if she found out I was on a food contract or that i cut myself she would be demanding to see my wrists each day and constantly looking over my shoulder and force-feeding me. I don't think I could take that. I need some semblance of control and I don't think she'll give me that

    - Bestsy xxx

  • Gosh Betsy,

    This is a touch one I was lucky I manage to confide in a collegue, but it can be hard if your ready to take on your depression ans no one is listening, I suggest as Suzie34 did try and talk to some one else maybe your mom will handle it better if it comes for some one else and not Her little girl.

    Good luck

  • If your mother doesn't suffer from Depression, they haven't a clue. As to what you're talking about! LOOK UP A BOARD CERTIFIED PHYSCRIATIST TO START YOUR MEDS! MOST OF THESE DRS CAN LEAD YOU TO THE BEST COUNSELORS!

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