Worried Mum

[Zita1381]

Hi everyone, first time here and first time posting.

I have a 16yr daughter. Who I think is suffering from depression. She has always had 'downs', even from as young as 6yrs. She will just go quiet and not communicate. At first we thought she was sulking, when she was 6yrs, but as time went on I knew it wasn't sulking. She was sad but through and through sad, like it went right down to her bones. Sometimes it would last an hour sometimes a few days. We never knew how to bring her out or make her feel better.

Yesterday she was crying and I think we had a break through. She was crying because her best friend had sent her a message saying she didn't feel she could be her friend anymore because my daughters moods are confusing her friend, her friend feels confused and emotionally wrecked, the friend said she would wake up every morning not knowing what my daughters mood would be, she was dreading it being a bad day. This is a feeling I and my partner are very familiar with so I understood the friends text.

My daughter was very upset, obviously. But back to the break through, while I was sitting on the floor with her as she cried, I asked her how it felt when she was in a 'down'. Her reply was 'its like not being able to breath or talk or know anything'.

I also asked if she knew anyway that anyone could help when she was like that, she said no 'that there are too many thoughts or maybe it was no thoughts,like her brain didnt work'.

Can I ask if anyone has experienced this or has any advice.

[Kittykatxxxxx]

Hi I've been depressed. What I needed at that age is something making it clear that they were there for me Encourage her to open up to you and try to normalise the situation . I didn't even recognise that I had depression at that age , it's a very confusing age .

It sounds like she needs to see the gp. Could you discuss this with her ? Lots of things seem to be going on ( in her head ).

[Anella]

I sent this response to someone else earlier today. It seems like it might fit your daughter's situation as well. Has she had a complete physical exam? I read that depression can be triggered by a number of physical causes.

The role of physical illness in depression, however, is complex. The experience of many doctors is that a depressed patient may also have a physical illness that is not responsible for his depression but that becomes the focal point in his mind. Yet, the underlying depression often must be addressed and treated.

Though some physical illnesses can cause or intensify emotional disorders, psychiatric symptoms can also develop as a reaction to a previously existing illness.

Just some food for thought listed below. It includes physical causes of depression and ways we can comfort and encourage depressed loved ones. I hope it helps.

Some Physical Causes of Depression

Medical research has associated the following things with the development of depression in some people:

Toxic metals and chemicals: lead, mercury, aluminum, carbon monoxide, and some insecticides

Nutrient deficiencies: certain vitamins and some essential minerals

Infectious diseases: tuberculosis, mononucleosis, viral pneumonia, hepatitis, and influenza

Endocrine-system diseases: thyroid disease, Cushing’s disease, hypoglycemia, and diabetes mellitus

Central-nervous-system diseases: multiple sclerosis and Parkinson’s disease

“Recreational” drugs: PCP, marijuana, amphetamines, cocaine, heroin, and methadone

Prescription drugs: barbiturates, anticonvulsants, corticosteroids, and hormones. Some medications that treat high blood pressure, arthritis, cardiovascular problems, and some mental disorders

(Certainly, not all such medicines will cause depression, and even when there is a danger, it usually involves a small percentage of those who use the drug under the proper medical supervision.)

HOW TO SPEAK CONSOLINGLY

□ LISTEN CAREFULLY—With discerning questions ‘draw up’ the feelings of the person’s heart. Be quick to listen and slow to reach any conclusions before having the full picture.—Proverbs 20:5; 18:13.

□ SHOW EMPATHY—“Fellow feeling” should join with ‘tender compassion’ as you try to identify emotionally with the depressed one. ‘Weep with one who weeps.’—1 Peter 3:8; Romans 12:15.

□ BE LONG-SUFFERING—It may take repeated discussions, so be patient. Overlook “wild talk” that the depressed one may speak because of frustration.—Job 6:3.

□ STRENGTHEN WITH WORDS—Help the depressed one to see his or her good qualities. Give specific commendation. Show that problems, past bad experiences, or shortcomings do not determine one’s personal worth. Explain why God loves and cares about him or her.—Job 16:5.