something is wrong with me mentally.

[Md159160]

Im in 11th grade and the oldest of 3.

ever since i was young i was quiet and wasn't very social. growing up i acted slow(mentally)at home. When my parents would tell me to go get something 3 mins. later i would forget wht tht "something" was. my parents often told me i had book sense but not common sense.

when i was younger there was a time when i was jumping across the sidewalk when i saw a bike coming. when it came close i got a sudden urge to jump in front of it. so i did. or when i tossed a teddy bear at a small round statue above my head only to have it come falling down on me ( i wasn't injured btw).

During the start of school we'd always fill out these questions so the teacher could get to know us. Like what's ur fav color or who's your fav artist. These were simple but it always took me entirely too long to answer them. I'd often think kids at school were laughing at me,they weren't.

2 of my teachers thought i had ADD bc of my lack of focus and constant daydreaming. When people speak to me out of the blue i tense up and just look at them bc when i try to speak my throat shuts & i can't, but im not shy.

I am in no way open w/ my friends. Im afraid of what ppl think of me and im always up late night/morning overthinking things. and there are some times when i am sad for no real reason or up regretting things i have said or done that most likely went by unnoticed. Like questioning wether or not i said thank you to somebody.

Sorry if this is a lot.

Thank you for helping.

[Md159160]

Im 16

[Md159160]

It was a bicycle & that was the only time that had happened. I didn't talk to my parents and im out of school right now.

[4oldnan]

Stop looking back into the past ! That is the first thing ! The only time that matters now is this very second ! Not the past, not the future ! Why beat yourself for how you were as a child for goodness sake ! What a futile waste of time! O.k. Maybe your parents told you some fibs ,maybe you thought that defined you for the rest of your life? No way ? Perhaps they had their own little hang ups ? What other people think of you ( and believe you me, that says more about them than you) is no concern of yours. Who cares? You know in yourself you can shrug that off but for some reason you want to dwell on it and imagine things maybe. You like your own company don't you ? Nothing wrong with that ! Quite a lot of us prefer to spend an evening at home reading a book ,watching TV ,whatever turns you on. Plenty would envy you! Don't open up if you don't want to! Nothing wrong with that ! What they don't know they will make up anyway if their own lives are something they want to escape! Have a good laugh! Seems like you are comfortable with yourself deep down but someone in past or present wants to control your thoughts . Shove them off! You are YOU ! Come on, get out there in the sunshine ! Listen to the birds! Admire the various greens of grass and trees! Smile st people ! Back straight! Chin up ! Nothing wrong with you - you are just normal like the rest of us ! All the best and let us know how you get on and then help others maybe?