Exhausted and desperate

Hi , this is my situation , I have two boys one is autistic and brain injured , he lives alone without carers as he is abusive and extremely demanding I am exhausted with him it feels so selfish but he's rings all the time , talks about death and funerals a lot , is very egotistical ..my patience is at an all time low ..his carers are thin on the ground and he can't cope with the changes and moans at me all the time ...social services cut his hours don't want to know ..my eldest lives at home and doesn't work he is depressed and I try and get him to heels me round the house he won't , he is on ESA and pays no bills ..my mother is getting dementia and can't remember anything she won't get help I've tried family and putting my foot down but they all bully me . I have a wonderful partner , and want to get married mbut he lives out of county I live with him a lot of the time butt come home to do caring roles . I have m.e and anxiety and depression and my family just don't consider this , my gut instinct is to sell up and move away but it also feels so wrong ...I am home this weekend as my partner works in London it's all so complicated and I feel desperate and exasperated by it all , sorry this is so long any support or suggestions would be grateful , no one of them want to seek help just rely on me and use me ...I've really had enough to be honest I need to take control before I lose it completely

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  • Hi you do have an awful lot going on none of it good. As far as your son who lives at home I think you have to get tough with him and tell him to either pay towards his keep and help out at home or he leaves. If he refuses then get a local paper and look for a place for him and let him know you are doing it.

    As for your mum, I know you probably don't want to do this but would she be better off in a home? I guess it depends how bad she is. I would tell your family you are considering this unless they can do a lot more and see what they say.

    Your eldest son - I haven't a clue what to say about him.

    I do know you have to look after your own needs and like you said take control. You will be no good to anyone if you break down, and apart from that you are just as important as any of them and need to look after yourself too. Not easy but you have to do what you have to do to stop being taken advantage of.

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